Corrupt a Wish

[baloo]

Granted! You find they are super cute and adorable. Unexpectedly they can talk! But they only do it to disclose your most embarrassing secrets at awkward times.

I wish I had a cookie.

 

[Shadowice]

Granted but the cookie was forgotten about in the oven and burnt, but your loved one made it and is looking at you expecting you to eat it and tell them how it was.

I wish I had a pool in the backyard

 

[baloo]

I wish I had a pool in the backyard

You got it! But will you look at that?! It's daedpool!

Now I wish uh.. to have a dimmer switch for the sun! And no delay please

 

[Butterfly]

Granted but it only works at night.

I wish I could fly

 

[Jaro]

Granted, but you can only fly on a broomstick without underwear

I wish I could have a woman give me a blowjob under the desk during my work at home

 

[baloo]

Granted but she will make unmistakable noises in every call you're on.

I wish I had the confidence to go through with what will improve my life situation...

 

[Guv'nor]

I wish I had the confidence to go through with what will improve my life situation...

Granted

I wish I had the confidence to sleep with someone

 

[Jaro]

Granted.... but your penis will be locked in a cage.

I wish I would be an expert in flirting.

 

[Guv'nor]

Granted.... but your penis will be locked in a cage.

I wish I would be an expert in flirting.

Granted, but you will cum in your pants whenever someone flirts with you

I wish I was fitter

 

[baloo]

I wish I was fitter

Granted, but from now on every time you blink you have a 37.2% chance of flipping left and right controls - when you think to go left, you go right and vice versa.

I wish everyone to be happy!

 

[Butterfly]

Granted but you are condemned to a life of misery

I wish I had a walk in closet

 

[Guv'nor]

Granted, but you have to walk in doing a handstand walk

I wish that my body was less hairy

 

[snoek]

Granted but you died at age 21 at optimal health.

I wish there were miniature version of animals that we could keep for pets

Granted, but they will constantly eat your nails and hair.

I wish I had unlimited storage space for my yarn.

 

[Jaro]

I wish I had unlimited storage space for my yarn.

Granted, but that storage space will be in your butt

 

[Jaro]

I wish that my body was less hairy

Granted but you will be completely bald head to toe, including eyebrows, eye lashes and the finest of body hairs

 

[Jaro]

I wish I never had to work again

 

[Guv'nor]

I wish I never had to work again

Granted, but you have to spend the time you would be at work living in someone elses kink fantasy

I wish that I got enough sleep

 

[snoek]

Granted, but you have to spend the time you would be at work living in someone elses kink fantasy

I wish that I got enough sleep

Granted, but you would always look really tired

I wish I could have more space to keep animals

 

[Butterfly]

Granted, but you would always look really tired

I wish I could have more space to keep animals

Granted but then you aren't allowed to have any animals

I wish I enjoyed public speaking

 

[Guv'nor]

Granted but then you aren't allowed to have any animals

I wish I enjoyed public speaking

Granted, but then you can only speak to a crowd in a public place, never in private

I wish that I lived alone