When you are looking at ads from people in the personals section or on other sites, what are some things you notice. Whether they are things that make you interested or instantly think "nope". Share some of the Do's and Don'ts of ad writing please!
Ad Advice
- Thread starter Butterfly
- Start date
Headlines are the most important. This is what most people read, and filter by!
Think about what it is exactly that you are looking for and condense it down to a single statement. Look at what tags, or specific words others are using so you can be found by searching for them.
There is also the art of negative searches, I like to include a few keywords that immediately show me it would not work. This helps everyone - think of things that might be deal-breakers to your potential partners and try to include them too. Nothing worse than wasting time if these could have gotten out of the way right away.
Remember - ads are not for finding as many people possible, but for finding the right ones!
Then there is the ad body itself - this is where you turn curiosity into attention.
They will look through - and for - the most varied things. Some are interested in your physique, some want to know what your specific kinks and limits are, or maybe a little about your personal life - hobbies, profession, aspirations, past experiences, hopes. All of that is great to include!
Be structured! Make use of headlines and paragraphs. Let people make their own way through the details you are comfortable to share.
Give clear expectations! Make sure you know what you want and be blunt about it, sugar-coating will only lead to frustration down the line.
Write it like you want to be, not like you currently are. Feeling sad and lonely about a lack of partners? Feeling horny, needy, deprived of attention so much you're tempted to say "I do anything!"? You have my sympathies! But do not write like that. Include your predicament but give it a positive spin.
Add something unique, funny, silly, or important to you. A way for people to enter into conversation creatively, something to connect to your person.
Include potential deal-breakers, limits, off-putting details about yourself and what you are looking for.
And one very specific thing I highly recommend: Somewhere in your ad, include a phrase, a word, or a specific way you want to be contacted. Can be like "Use the word 'apple' in your message" and be brutal about ignoring those who do not. You put time and effort into your ad and made yourself vulnerable by publishing it - anyone not willing to do the same is not worth any of your attention.
Most importantly: Don't panic! Be patient, and don't be disheartened by the many, many disappointments you will get!
Think about what it is exactly that you are looking for and condense it down to a single statement. Look at what tags, or specific words others are using so you can be found by searching for them.
There is also the art of negative searches, I like to include a few keywords that immediately show me it would not work. This helps everyone - think of things that might be deal-breakers to your potential partners and try to include them too. Nothing worse than wasting time if these could have gotten out of the way right away.
Remember - ads are not for finding as many people possible, but for finding the right ones!
Then there is the ad body itself - this is where you turn curiosity into attention.
They will look through - and for - the most varied things. Some are interested in your physique, some want to know what your specific kinks and limits are, or maybe a little about your personal life - hobbies, profession, aspirations, past experiences, hopes. All of that is great to include!
Be structured! Make use of headlines and paragraphs. Let people make their own way through the details you are comfortable to share.
Give clear expectations! Make sure you know what you want and be blunt about it, sugar-coating will only lead to frustration down the line.
Write it like you want to be, not like you currently are. Feeling sad and lonely about a lack of partners? Feeling horny, needy, deprived of attention so much you're tempted to say "I do anything!"? You have my sympathies! But do not write like that. Include your predicament but give it a positive spin.
Add something unique, funny, silly, or important to you. A way for people to enter into conversation creatively, something to connect to your person.
Include potential deal-breakers, limits, off-putting details about yourself and what you are looking for.
And one very specific thing I highly recommend: Somewhere in your ad, include a phrase, a word, or a specific way you want to be contacted. Can be like "Use the word 'apple' in your message" and be brutal about ignoring those who do not. You put time and effort into your ad and made yourself vulnerable by publishing it - anyone not willing to do the same is not worth any of your attention.
Most importantly: Don't panic! Be patient, and don't be disheartened by the many, many disappointments you will get!
That is all great advice. I feel like I do most of those things pretty well currently in my ad.
One thing that super annoys me is the including a word or phrase in your response. I would much rather answer a specific question than find a creative way to add in a silly word.
I always ask to tell me their favorite pokemon
CarnalSensuality
Member
Subject Lines - important to a degree, yes. If "[F4M] online" then unless I'm really bored I will hide it/never look into it. If it seems like a bad English/spelling sentence: skip. I advocate putting essentials in the subject, like "#online->IRL" or ISO ages, findom, OF, etc. or LACKING posted limits - but most of those are obvious red flags so they're rarely included by bots or sellers 
It is a positive for people to list their one kink/need they want fulfilled. If it is convenient, I'll consider it. But so far I haven't found single-kink people to be terribly.. interesting, or easy to keep engaged with over time. Alt: that online stranger isn't someone worth risking being vulnerable with.
Personally, anyone looking to "give" findom is out automatically. The term 'princess' has been driven into the dirt so is mostly only means 'pay for everything': OUT. If they only have one way of communicating - OF, telegram, WhatsApp - and cannot even bother to try negotiating something else: OUT, likely a seller or honeypot.
POSITIVES
But if they only start communication one way and it is a SECURED app, then I am intrigued and will go out of my way to do so. But it has been YEARS since I ran into that kind of person.
I have seen more subjects over the past month which do actually indicate that they want something deeper and more permanent. Some of them still end up with a post of dozens of bullet points and hide their hard limits either at the end or in mountains of text, but at least thank god they're communicating! But I can be a romantic.
Personally, I appreciate people who come across as more open to possibilities in their ads. The more bullet points, usually the more pass/fail tests to try getting past. But if things aren't stated as absolutist, if the wording doesn't scream out to me "I can only deal with someone who lives in these extremely narrow confines I've imagined but never experienced"... Then I feel like there's at least a chance
Shibboleths are a whole other topic. This is the simplistic text version of the 'are you human?' tests on many websites, so .. whether a bot or cheap labor, it can be relatively easily defeated. But it probably still indicates the people who spam dick picks, etc., right? It struck me as strange when people started including 'say XYZ in your response so I know you read this" years ago. But I've never had the (fortunate?) problem of getting spammed with responses or being the obvious target of bots. I'm sorry for those of you who are!
It is a positive for people to list their one kink/need they want fulfilled. If it is convenient, I'll consider it. But so far I haven't found single-kink people to be terribly.. interesting, or easy to keep engaged with over time. Alt: that online stranger isn't someone worth risking being vulnerable with.
Personally, anyone looking to "give" findom is out automatically. The term 'princess' has been driven into the dirt so is mostly only means 'pay for everything': OUT. If they only have one way of communicating - OF, telegram, WhatsApp - and cannot even bother to try negotiating something else: OUT, likely a seller or honeypot.
POSITIVES
But if they only start communication one way and it is a SECURED app, then I am intrigued and will go out of my way to do so. But it has been YEARS since I ran into that kind of person.
I have seen more subjects over the past month which do actually indicate that they want something deeper and more permanent. Some of them still end up with a post of dozens of bullet points and hide their hard limits either at the end or in mountains of text, but at least thank god they're communicating! But I can be a romantic.
Personally, I appreciate people who come across as more open to possibilities in their ads. The more bullet points, usually the more pass/fail tests to try getting past. But if things aren't stated as absolutist, if the wording doesn't scream out to me "I can only deal with someone who lives in these extremely narrow confines I've imagined but never experienced"... Then I feel like there's at least a chance
Shibboleths are a whole other topic. This is the simplistic text version of the 'are you human?' tests on many websites, so .. whether a bot or cheap labor, it can be relatively easily defeated. But it probably still indicates the people who spam dick picks, etc., right? It struck me as strange when people started including 'say XYZ in your response so I know you read this" years ago. But I've never had the (fortunate?) problem of getting spammed with responses or being the obvious target of bots. I'm sorry for those of you who are!
Oh! Noted on the "Princess". I have liked to use that title to describe myself.Subject Lines - important to a degree, yes. If "[F4M] online" then unless I'm really bored I will hide it/never look into it. If it seems like a bad English/spelling sentence: skip. I advocate putting essentials in the subject, like "#online->IRL" or ISO ages, findom, OF, etc. or LACKING posted limits - but most of those are obvious red flags so they're rarely included by bots or sellers
It is a positive for people to list their one kink/need they want fulfilled. If it is convenient, I'll consider it. But so far I haven't found single-kink people to be terribly.. interesting, or easy to keep engaged with over time. Alt: that online stranger isn't someone worth risking being vulnerable with.
Personally, anyone looking to "give" findom is out automatically. The term 'princess' has been driven into the dirt so is mostly only means 'pay for everything': OUT. If they only have one way of communicating - OF, telegram, WhatsApp - and cannot even bother to try negotiating something else: OUT, likely a seller or honeypot.
POSITIVES
But if they only start communication one way and it is a SECURED app, then I am intrigued and will go out of my way to do so. But it has been YEARS since I ran into that kind of person.
I have seen more subjects over the past month which do actually indicate that they want something deeper and more permanent. Some of them still end up with a post of dozens of bullet points and hide their hard limits either at the end or in mountains of text, but at least thank god they're communicating! But I can be a romantic.
Personally, I appreciate people who come across as more open to possibilities in their ads. The more bullet points, usually the more pass/fail tests to try getting past. But if things aren't stated as absolutist, if the wording doesn't scream out to me "I can only deal with someone who lives in these extremely narrow confines I've imagined but never experienced"... Then I feel like there's at least a chance
Shibboleths are a whole other topic. This is the simplistic text version of the 'are you human?' tests on many websites, so .. whether a bot or cheap labor, it can be relatively easily defeated. But it probably still indicates the people who spam dick picks, etc., right? It struck me as strange when people started including 'say XYZ in your response so I know you read this" years ago. But I've never had the (fortunate?) problem of getting spammed with responses or being the obvious target of bots. I'm sorry for those of you who are!
I try to keep any bullet points as a guide and for short lists.
ALSO I think I mostly focus on the things that people are going to find as reasons to pass on me. I don't want to waste time if people aren't open to me being poly or plus size.
CarnalSensuality
Member
I was afraid of that...
"Princess" is like a lot of other terms: it has gotten a bit corrupted by common usages, yet there's an expectation that people know what it means - when it could mean many different things and 99% of people assume that it ONLY means what they meant, of course :/ "Curvy", BBW, and queer often also fit into that category as almost anyone seems to use them - those may be more of a personality litmus test than some objective descriptor...
So sometimes language around the word in question is (I hope) more informative: "I pretend I'm a princess" or "I like to play a princess" seem more aware and likely the person is more able to discuss, rather than those who include it as a demand or the sole part of their identity :/
BUT if someone said "fairy/fae/goblin princess" I would be intrigued as that means to me that they have a richer fantasy life and imagination than most. I have had some fun conversations with people like that as I learn about their world(s) 8)
CarnalSensuality
Member
Those + location, IRL/online-only, height, age, fitness, income, etc. are the standard ones I often see for men.
It feels unfortunate that we have to include all that, but I also appreciate getting info ahead of time so I don't waste everyone's time.