Woman, what is one thing you wish Men knew

[Butterfly]

This thread is for the women, those who identify as females or owners of female parts ...

What is something that you wish men knew about you, your experiences, your parts, what it is like living in a female body, what it is like going through life as a woman .... tell us!

 

[Butterfly]

1. Not all girls get "wet"

So many times I have been flirting with a potential partner or friend online and five minutes in he will ask me how wet my panties are. When I say that they aren't, they are surprised.

First of all, every female is different. For me personally, I don't get wet very easily. Sure I can get turned on by a conversation. My clit will start to tingle and throb, and I have a desire to touch, but I have to pretty worked up for me to start feeling "wet".

I have to be pretty turned on in order for there to be a lot of wetness, and even still, it rarely is enough to make my panties feel moist (ugh I hate that word). I think guys have this fantasy that they reach between your legs and they can feel how turned on you are. But it sometimes takes a lot more than words. Usually I will only start to feel wet when I am watching porn or starting to masturbate.

It takes a special fantasy for me to get to a headspace that turns me on enough to get wet with just words alone. And if we are chatting while I am in a public place, or at work, or somehow distracted, the chances of that happening are rather slim.

Hormones and age can big factors that play a part in this as well! Every body is different.

 

[Butterfly]

2. Going commando isn't always fun
A very common rule that I seem to get from Doms is to go commando. It is something that I have actually listed in my limits now. I do not feel comfortable going commando at all and there are several reasons for this.

I know that the fantasy of having a girl wear nothing under her skirt is hot: easy access, risk of exposure, and whatever else makes it appealing. However, the reality, especially long term, isn't as sexy.

One of the biggest problems for me is that it makes me feel self conscious. Not just the idea that people can see more of me, but I feel like I sweat more when I am going commando. I don't feel as clean and fresh and I feel like I smell.

On top of that, we have to deal with periods suddently appearing. And even when we aren't on our periods we have to deal with discharge and spotting and other girl related leakage. It isn't sexy to talk about, so most men don't realize this.

Our princess parts can also be pretty sensitive, jeans rubbing up in our business doesn't always feel so great.

 

[Butterfly]

3. PMS sucks for us too!
PMS sucks! If you think that our mood swings are hard to handle, imagine being us. Sometimes it is as if a demon has taken over our body. We can go from super happy to super bitchy in two seconds and we don't know why. Feeling constantly on the verge of tears for no reason isn't fun for us either.

PMS sucks! If you think that our mood swings are hard to handle, imagine being us. Sometimes it is as if a demon has taken over our body. We can go from super happy to super bitchy in two seconds and we don't know why. Feeling constantly on the verge of tears for no reason isn't fun for us either.

 

[Butterfly]

4. Vaginas are delicate ecosystems
Guys do not have vaginas, and therefore it is sometimes hard for them to know how to treat one properly. One thing that I see guys asking girls to do, is putting random objects inside them. Now, common sense says to make sure that the object is rounded, with no sharp edges as to prevent injury, and hopefully clean from bacteria (ie. do not put something in your ass and then your vagina). But one thing that people don't always think about is putting food inside you.

If you thought periods and discharge were nasty, don't even get me started on a yeast infection or UTI. In general stay away from anything dirty or sweet.

 

[Butterfly]

5. Bras are not just pretty
Bras can be very pretty, sweet, sexy or cute, but they also serve a purpose. Bras support our boobs. For girls who have large chests, this can make a big difference in our everyday comfort. For some girls, it is just NOT an option to go out in public without wearing a bra.

When you have two large orbs of fat dangling in front of you, it can cause back, neck and/or shoulder pain, chaffing, and (unwanted) sensitivity. Boobs are heavy!

Also, bras can be expensive. That is especially true if you have larger boobs or special sizes. Some of my bras can be up to $60 each. So think about that before asking us to rip, tear, modify or puncture our bras.

 

[Butterfly]

6. There are reasons we don't share photos
This is something that has been touched on endlessly. There are so many different reasons why we may not share our photos:

• Being self concious
• Maintain privacy
• Prevent harassment
• Bad experiences in the past
• We don't feel comfortable with you
• We don't want to

Whatever the reason is, it is something that we have decided on and we expect you to respect that decision.

 

[Butterfly]

7. We don't want to see your dick ... no really, we don't!
Speaking of photos ... we probably don't want to see your dick. You are most likely a lot more fascinated by it than we are. There are of course exceptions. Some dicks can be pretty, and it can be a turn on to see the dick of somebody we know and are intimate with. However, unsolicited dick pics are never wanted. Keep it in your pants until we get to know you.

Instead, it is better to offer a dick pic and wait for us to accept. Or if you just can't help ourselves, warn us that one is coming so that we can avert our eyes if needed.

 

[Butterfly]

8. Shaving takes a lot of effort
Everybody has their own preferences, but I know a lot of guys like a girl to be shaved or trimmed down there. I personally like to shave as well. The problem is, it takes a long time and a bit of effort to bend in all the right ways to get all of the little hairs that grow. And that fresh shaved feeling doesn't last long. Humans are naturally hairy and hair grows quickly.

Even if we are careful, we can cut ourselves, get razor burn and/or get ingrown hairs. None of these things are pleasant. On top of that, if we sensitive skin, we can break out in bumps.

Finding the right balance between shaving too often and having irritated skin and not shaving enough is tough.

 

[Butterfly]

9. Flattery is annoying
There is a difference between flattery and compliments. A compliment is genuine and based on fact. If you call me beautiful but have never seen a photo of me, it feels like you want something from me.

The same can be said with pet names like baby, doll or sweetie. If you don't know me, it can come off as condescending or presumptuous.

 

[Butterfly]

10, We have feelings ...
... and that doesn't mean we are on our periods or we are being overemotional.

 

[Butterfly]

11. We aren't horny 24/7
Just as we aren't always wet, we aren't always horny.
Guys tend to get turned on a lot easier and so it may be hard to understand when you whip out your best dick pic and we don't turn to a puddle of horny mush. Being turned on is more than just a physical thing for woman. We need to be in the right headspace. We need to be able to relax and concentrate. If we are hungry, stressed, tired, grumpy or distracted, you can use your best moves on us, you can talk about our biggest fantasys but that doesn't mean it is a for sure thing.

 

[Butterfly]

12. Orgasms can take time
Sometimes an orgasm can take 5 minutes, sometimes it can take 30 minutes, and sometimes it just isn't going to happen at all. But that doesn't mean there is something wrong with us or with you. It doesn't mean we aren't turned on, or that we don't like you. Some girls take longer than others. For me, I can usually get to the edge in less than 5 minutes. However, there are days where I can have the wand on my clit for 30 minutes and I am not even close.

As I stated above, being turned on has a lot to do with our mental state. This translates to orgasms as well. Even if we ARE turned on enough, sometimes there is something mental preventing us from getting to the edge, sometimes it is a sensitivity issue, sometimes it is a mental block, or not being comfortable and other times we don't even know what is stopping us. and some girls, have never been able to have an orgasm!

The pressure of having an orgasm can sometimes delay it even further. Orgasms shouldn't be the goal. Pleasure should be the goal.

 

[Butterfly]

13. Porn is fantasy, not reality
You would think this one is self explanatory,, but I think it needs to be said. Porn is not real.
Porn is great! A lot of woman enjoy porn too! But you can't compare us to the girls in porn. And just because something worked in porn, doesn't mean it will work for us.

 

[Butterfly]

14. Vaginas are not silly putty
I love the feeling of a giant dildo inside me. It feels so good to be stretched to capacity. But my vagina is not made out of silly putty. It can only comfortably stretch so far.
Just because one girl can take a dildo that is a certain size, doesn't mean the next girl will be able to take the same size dildo. And if a girl says stop, ouch or no, respect her wishes instead of telling her to keep trying.

 

[Butterfly]

15. Noise isn't everything
Some girls make a lot of noise but others don't. Sometimes we fake noises because we know you like them, but those can be almost more distracting. If we don't make noise, it doesn't mean we aren't enjoying it .. it could just mean we are concentrating on the sensations you are providing.

 

[PrincessMari]

8. Shaving takes a lot of effort
Everybody has their own preferences, but I know a lot of guys like a girl to be shaved or trimmed down there. I personally like to shave as well. The problem is, it takes a long time and a bit of effort to bend in all the right ways to get all of the little hairs that grow. And that fresh shaved feeling doesn't last long. Humans are naturally hairy and hair grows quickly.

Even if we are careful, we can cut ourselves, get razor burn and/or get ingrown hairs. None of these things are pleasant. On top of that, if we sensitive skin, we can break out in bumps.

Finding the right balance between shaving too often and having irritated skin and not shaving enough is tough.

This is the one that absolutely kills me.

If I were to shave everywhere I'm expected to shave, I'd have enough hair by the end to completely fill the inside of a motorcycle helmet, and I'm not exaggerating. It takes me at least an hour, it clogs my damn drain, and it hurts! I'm really susceptible to ingrown hairs, too, and I can never shave my pubic hair well enough to be completely bald — I always still have stubble by the end of it, or have missed a spot, and fuck if I wanna go back in with the razor after I spent an hour minimum doing amateur yoga with blades in my now-clogged shower. But I've had guys demand it of me! If you're not willing to hop in the shower and shave your pits, pubes, legs, butthole, taint, and balls, at minimum, right the fuck now, maybe consider that neither do I! And guess what? Shaving only really lasts a day or two, so the hair is growing back almost immediately. Waxing rips the hair straight out of the follicle, which means it grows back more slowly, but obviously it's really painful, and laser hair removal isn't permanent either. And all of this costs some amount of money.

I don't know how to explain that I'm, uh, a mammal? And mammals typically have hair and stuff. Accept this reality or be doomed to never enjoy the beauty of my rain forest pussy.