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    xx Butterfly

When you want to join threads...but the conditions aren't right

Reply to thread
I feel I may be over blogging...it's funny because back on GD you would have so many Blogs going up...so if no one else will do it I will for now :D
So as people may have gathered I'm back and active on the site at the moment, trying to breed some new life into the forum, creating threads where I see a gap in the market, helping out with the odd add thread, keeping an eye out for some potential fun...but with me, and I'm sure quite a few other users there's a bit of a problem...

Being straight and male, well I'm locked out of interacting with a lot of this site, there's no point posting in person above threads, I have no interest in doing solo dares such as dice dares, and I keep an eye on Loser Had to Threads that could be fun and meet my interests...but in honesty I only want to play with women, and that is CIS women only...sorry if that upsets anyone but it's my preference and I won't change from that, being inclusive doesn't change your sexual preference...
I don't really like to message members out of the blue unless I see we have a bit of a repour from threads or they seem to overlap with a number of my interests...plus the idea of spamming women is just a bit of a no go area for me, I don't want to scare people off the site or cause any real bother.

I know this site is built on inclusivity and I respect that, and I am pretty sure this won't happen but I would love an area of the site for straight people only. I would love to create threads which match this preference...and I suspect there may be a few others who feel the same way...but alas, in the meantime I'll continue to create the odd thing and interact when I can, maybe hold out for certain old members of GD I used to play some games with and have fun with or find someone cool and new to interact with

My last urge, post on the forum, write Blogs...in one word contribute, this site is only as good as the work put in by it's members, peace out
 
The blog section is my favorite but just haven't had the energy to write anything too recently. But I will try to do it.

There will never be a "straight" only section. BUT there is no reason you can't create more threads that appeal to you. We want to be inclusive and appeal to everybody. Sometimes you have to look a bit harder or create your own space to make that happen. I will say that you can put whatever restrictions you want on threads, games, etc. but I will never stop somebody from participating even if they go against the preferences.
 
The blog section is my favorite but just haven't had the energy to write anything too recently. But I will try to do it.

There will never be a "straight" only section. BUT there is no reason you can't create more threads that appeal to you. We want to be inclusive and appeal to everybody. Sometimes you have to look a bit harder or create your own space to make that happen. I will say that you can put whatever restrictions you want on threads, games, etc. but I will never stop somebody from participating even if they go against the preferences.
I get that, and to be honest this is why I will likely not interact much with threads on this site...I don't want to offend people, but also I won't waste my time or others...no one really reads preferences or respects them
 
I have spent so long typing this reply and rewording it. I think this is the best it’s going to be…

Coming at this from a queer/gender non-conforming perspective, I feel like this site, along with other spaces are by default geared towards straight people. My experience from GD was that people didn’t know what to do with me as a NB person. Generally I have had to pick a side, if you will, and present as a woman when gender is just not that simple for me. In many places, there was no place for as I am. Additionally, being NB makes it difficult for me to have kinky relationships with straight people. Queer/open doms are hard to come by. Straight and even gay doms don’t usually play with NB people.

I don’t want to invalidate your experience. However, saying you’d like a straight only section, a section I could never be in, was like a punch in the gut. Queer people have been excluded from spaces for centuries. We have had to claw out our own space in the world. I’m sorry if I come across unsympathetic but most kink related places, in my opinion, are catered to straight men. A difference I have noticed here is that this site isn’t intentionally designed for straight men, and I think this may be part of why you may feel excluded. I agree with Butterfly, you will just have to carve out your own space here, and that’s okay.

I do sympathize with people not reading and respecting your preferences. That is an issue that prevails across gender and sexuality. I do also appreciate how courteous you are with respecting others on this site.

I hope this doesn’t offend you. I don’t want to hurt your feelings or invalidate the way you feel. You are allowed to feel that way. I hope I provide a different perspective on inclusivity. We are glad you are here and I hope you find your place here ❤️
 
I have spent so long typing this reply and rewording it. I think this is the best it’s going to be…

Coming at this from a queer/gender non-conforming perspective, I feel like this site, along with other spaces are by default geared towards straight people. My experience from GD was that people didn’t know what to do with me as a NB person. Generally I have had to pick a side, if you will, and present as a woman when gender is just not that simple for me. In many places, there was no place for as I am. Additionally, being NB makes it difficult for me to have kinky relationships with straight people. Queer/open doms are hard to come by. Straight and even gay doms don’t usually play with NB people.

I don’t want to invalidate your experience. However, saying you’d like a straight only section, a section I could never be in, was like a punch in the gut. Queer people have been excluded from spaces for centuries. We have had to claw out our own space in the world. I’m sorry if I come across unsympathetic but most kink related places, in my opinion, are catered to straight men. A difference I have noticed here is that this site isn’t intentionally designed for straight men, and I think this may be part of why you may feel excluded. I agree with Butterfly, you will just have to carve out your own space here, and that’s okay.

I do sympathize with people not reading and respecting your preferences. That is an issue that prevails across gender and sexuality. I do also appreciate how courteous you are with respecting others on this site.

I hope this doesn’t offend you. I don’t want to hurt your feelings or invalidate the way you feel. You are allowed to feel that way. I hope I provide a different perspective on inclusivity. We are glad you are here and I hope you find your place here ❤️
Please name one way this site is set up for straight people, just one, I’m curious about your view
 
I rarely have the head space to interact with many things on here these days. Though I agree with Butterfly: Create threads that appeal to you. And while no doubt quite some people will not read the disclaimer that your threads are for interacting with cis-women only, you can always just ignore them. Keeping this in mind, you can set up the threads with that in mind, too.

Then see who bites.

And just put those into your personal ignore list, who feel like needing to comment that your threads are for cis-women only. Those will no doubt happen.

As to kink sites like this one being geared towards straight people (not set up for, geared to) - I am reading it like "Ooh, sexual gratification stuff. This usually appeals to straight people." That said, I don't agree with that for this particular site. I find it quite refreshing to see how so far basically everbody is welcome and finds their niches and ideas. And so can you.

And dealing with people not reading - let's just say as a mod: You don't know the half of it XD
 
I dont want to discourage you, in trying and continuing, but i think that its nice that everyone has a chance to participate in most threads, tasks, dares etc.

That being said, there are some people who in general dont read what others write. As in dont bother with the boundaries. And yeah, it is discouraging when you take so much time and dont want to offend anyone or make anyone feel left out. But i think and hope that even with that, you and many others in here will keep on trying and looking. And find the perfect match.
 
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