It was through a horny Google search that landed her on an obscure kinky forum 3 years ago that Sir's toy was first introduced to the wonders of submitting. When the journey started Sir's toy had no idea what her likes and dislikes even were. Don't get Sir's toy wrong, she always had BDSM in her, her brain was wired that way, she had never had vanilla fantasies, she was all about being used, being hurt. However as to the specifics, what her body actually liked or disliked in terms of what she can actually do in her bedroom, that was a whole new town to discover.
On her first week of discovery she setup an initial list of her supposed tastes, which would take trial and error to refine through experiences, sessions and punishments. She was taking whatever was given to her in the shape that other people wanted it without really knowing what she liked herself. Today Sir's toy has a better idea of where she stands personally about certain things. Her taste also evolved a bit about certain aspects that she thought she would never like.
Sir's toy likes her BDSM sessions unsexy !
Here's one of the main things Sir's toy learned about herself through experiences : Sir's toy likes it better when sexual stimulation is not on the menu. No, Sir's toy isn't asexuel. She just realized that pleasure or frustration are way too distracting, overbearing, and basically steal the light of whatever else is going on in a BDSM session.
She would much rather have all her senses focused on the pain and the subtleties of submission, which feel like a higher form of pleasure to her, almost intellectual, as opposed to the very carnal, lizard brain motivations of the down stairs.
Those sessions feel automatically pure, poetic and just blissful to Sir's toy, untainted by the grossness she tends to struggle with when it comes to those more instant gratification ways. Untainted by the guilt and OCD-like needs to clean up everything after getting too messy.
Untainted by her complex bisexuality, focusing only on serving her male Dominant, because you see it's weird how things are for Sir's toy, it seems that when she wants to self-pleasure, it activates her "into girls" side more, but it also distracts her almost entirely from her "into men" side. Which brigs us to the next point.
Sir's toy's bisexuality is not straight forward at all.
Sir's toy learned to understand and accept the various layers that form her bisexuality. They are what they are and they don't have to be explained or changed.
Sir's toy wants to submit to a man, not to a woman.
But Sir's toy would rather masturbate to lesbian things than heterosexual things.
Sir's toy will enjoy seeing the body of a female stranger, but needs a connection to enjoy the body of a male.
Sir's toy would want to feel emotionally involved with a man, but not with a woman.
Her holes like men, especially her vagina, but her clit likes women.
Females are more for fantasies for Sir's toy, males for reality.
It's weird but it is what it is.
Sir's toy is not made for orgasm control.
She tried her best to do it like the cool denied girls she really tried. She gave it a chance, she gave it time, and her honest efforts. Maybe it was jus something new to her that she had yet to learn to enjoy, maybe she just needed training.
No, it's simply not something that she can enjoy, and the first point pretty much has everything to do with why. It takes away all the joy from the subtleties of BDSM that Sir's toy is in for, instead only focusing her attention on one cheap ephemera.
A bit of edging to stretch out a self-pleasuring session is about the extent of what Sir's toy can enjoy when it comes to that, she definitely doesn't see it as a positive addition to the things she can enjoy inside a dynamic. Which means implementing it is rather a sacrifice or a compromise that Sir's toy can end up making for someone else's pleasures at the expense of hers. Which is something... Subs will do sometimes.
However this kink has proved itself to have many negative implications for Sir's toy's health and well being, thus it is not just a dislike, but pretty much a soft limit at the end of this lengthy experimentation phase.
Humiliation is not all bad.
That's one thing Sir's toy never thought she would enjoy when she first started laying that list of her assumed likes and dislikes. But let's say being humbled by her own Submission helped her open up a bit to such feelings, she had more of an ego before being a Sub for a while. She also understood that it's not all black or white, there's a lot of things that can be done and said under the category of "humiliation", and just because she won't enjoy the most commun methods doesn't mean she hates the whole concept.
At the end it stays something to approach with caution and only small doses of it are able to be enjoyed by Sir's toy, it requires a deep connection with someone and a lot of time to know what actually works or doesn't.
On her first week of discovery she setup an initial list of her supposed tastes, which would take trial and error to refine through experiences, sessions and punishments. She was taking whatever was given to her in the shape that other people wanted it without really knowing what she liked herself. Today Sir's toy has a better idea of where she stands personally about certain things. Her taste also evolved a bit about certain aspects that she thought she would never like.
Sir's toy likes her BDSM sessions unsexy !
Here's one of the main things Sir's toy learned about herself through experiences : Sir's toy likes it better when sexual stimulation is not on the menu. No, Sir's toy isn't asexuel. She just realized that pleasure or frustration are way too distracting, overbearing, and basically steal the light of whatever else is going on in a BDSM session.
She would much rather have all her senses focused on the pain and the subtleties of submission, which feel like a higher form of pleasure to her, almost intellectual, as opposed to the very carnal, lizard brain motivations of the down stairs.
Those sessions feel automatically pure, poetic and just blissful to Sir's toy, untainted by the grossness she tends to struggle with when it comes to those more instant gratification ways. Untainted by the guilt and OCD-like needs to clean up everything after getting too messy.
Untainted by her complex bisexuality, focusing only on serving her male Dominant, because you see it's weird how things are for Sir's toy, it seems that when she wants to self-pleasure, it activates her "into girls" side more, but it also distracts her almost entirely from her "into men" side. Which brigs us to the next point.
Sir's toy's bisexuality is not straight forward at all.
Sir's toy learned to understand and accept the various layers that form her bisexuality. They are what they are and they don't have to be explained or changed.
Sir's toy wants to submit to a man, not to a woman.
But Sir's toy would rather masturbate to lesbian things than heterosexual things.
Sir's toy will enjoy seeing the body of a female stranger, but needs a connection to enjoy the body of a male.
Sir's toy would want to feel emotionally involved with a man, but not with a woman.
Her holes like men, especially her vagina, but her clit likes women.
Females are more for fantasies for Sir's toy, males for reality.
It's weird but it is what it is.
Sir's toy is not made for orgasm control.
She tried her best to do it like the cool denied girls she really tried. She gave it a chance, she gave it time, and her honest efforts. Maybe it was jus something new to her that she had yet to learn to enjoy, maybe she just needed training.
No, it's simply not something that she can enjoy, and the first point pretty much has everything to do with why. It takes away all the joy from the subtleties of BDSM that Sir's toy is in for, instead only focusing her attention on one cheap ephemera.
A bit of edging to stretch out a self-pleasuring session is about the extent of what Sir's toy can enjoy when it comes to that, she definitely doesn't see it as a positive addition to the things she can enjoy inside a dynamic. Which means implementing it is rather a sacrifice or a compromise that Sir's toy can end up making for someone else's pleasures at the expense of hers. Which is something... Subs will do sometimes.
However this kink has proved itself to have many negative implications for Sir's toy's health and well being, thus it is not just a dislike, but pretty much a soft limit at the end of this lengthy experimentation phase.
Humiliation is not all bad.
That's one thing Sir's toy never thought she would enjoy when she first started laying that list of her assumed likes and dislikes. But let's say being humbled by her own Submission helped her open up a bit to such feelings, she had more of an ego before being a Sub for a while. She also understood that it's not all black or white, there's a lot of things that can be done and said under the category of "humiliation", and just because she won't enjoy the most commun methods doesn't mean she hates the whole concept.
At the end it stays something to approach with caution and only small doses of it are able to be enjoyed by Sir's toy, it requires a deep connection with someone and a lot of time to know what actually works or doesn't.
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