The safety of hidden/semi public play

[LessAwful]

Let's talk about a particularly spicy kink! To quote myself a long time ago:

"Hidden Public" is the term for the kink that involves doing very naughty sexy stuff in a public setting, but in such a way that no one but you (and potential confidants) are aware it is happening.

I'll start off the discussion from fairly serious angle, then we'll see what opinions, insights and experiences you'd all like to share:

Hidden public can be a lot of fun, but it's a particularly dangerous kink. Not in the 'usual' sense, of literal danger to your health (not uncommon in the realm of BDSM), but a danger of being discovered. Not because of the consequences to you, the participant, however, that was a calculated risk that you made ahead of time. No, I mean the consequences to the other party. Within the realm of kink, consent is king. And the people around us, living their normal everyday lives have not chosen to be willing participants in our kinky fun. There's a good and healthy discussion to be had on whether or not it is even ethical to do any kind of public play, without ensuring all bystanders are willing participants.

I'll reserve my own opinion for now and ask you all what you think; how do you practice this kink safely, both for yourself and especially for others? Where do you draw the line between what is fine and ethical, and what isn't?

 

[Pluky]

Mostly agreed, however there are things usually harmless to other people that can still count as hidden public, like for example if you were ordered to use specific words or never use specific words around other people, they wouldn't know it's a task/rule and you're being obedient, it affects those people in no way and I don't think you need consent for that. Same for wearing a discrete piece of jewelry that symbolises your submission or you have something underneath your clothes like a tack bra, in what way does that affect anybody ? Unless those don't really fall under that category, not sure.

 

[Butterfly]

I agree that it can be something that is very risky, for both yourself and others. However, I feel like anything that is not directly involving others, is totally ok. I think in this case you need to use your common sense and also just think through the possibilities of how people would feel when seeing you in public. If things appear "normal" on the outside, then it won't make them feel uncomfortable or violated.

Totally Ok!​	Crossing a Line​
Having to buy certain items at a store and having to ask questions about them (that is their job)	Telling a store clerk that you are going to use a cucumber in a sexual way.
Going out in public with no panties in a medium length skirt.	Going without panties and a short skirt and sitting down somewhere in public (none of your bodily fluids should ever end up somewhere in public!)
Wearing a piece of jewelry as a discreet symbol of your ownership	Wearing a collar in public
Having a vibe in your panties and somebody else controlling it while walking around a mall (and being able to control yourself in a discreet manner)	Having an orgasm in a public place where somebody is likely to see or hear you.
Going to a nude beach or other place where it is allowed to be naked in a public setting.	Flashing people in a public setting where nudity is not allowed.
Having speech restrictions, or needing to say certain keywords to somebody	Making somebody uncomfortable by telling them too much, using words that are not appropriate for the circumstances etc.
Inserting a plug in public or to wear while in public	Taking a plug or toy out and leaving it somewhere where other people could find it and/or have to clean up after you
Dressing up in a humiliating or silly "vanilla" outfit. Ie. an inflatable dino costume, or clown outfit.	Acting in a humiliating way that makes people feel uncomfortable.
Flirting with somebody	Sexually harassing somebody

 

[deschut]

Semi public can be super fun and exciting, but indeed keep some basic principles into account.
- Don't involve people explicitly that didn't ask for this - it can come across pretty offensive.
- Risk is fun, but still make sure you can always continue keeping yourself safe and have an escape.
If it's exciting, just take good smaller steps to explore! And do it in a place that has some decent alternatives/options.