Subs, what is something you don't think Doms understand?

[Butterfly]

I will be getting the opportunity to Domme a Dom very soon.

He has agreed to submit to me for 30 days, in the hopes that being a sub will make him be a better Dom. Hopefully he will end his 30 days having learned to be a better, more sympathetic, understanding and realistic Dom.

I want him to experience things that Doms hand out regularly, things that are hard for subs to do, that maybe Doms don't understand.

For example, I want him to experience:
*Stuffing panties in his ass
*Wearing a plug for an extended period of time
*Not being allowed to use lube for his plug
*Drinking his own pee
*Trying to cum from anal only

Please help me by giving me your list of things that you wish you Doms could experience. And if you can't think of anything, then feel free to provide ideas for revenge instead

 

[Hoof]

Having identified as a Dom for many years, I don't believe that the role is always understood by the sub. The position is hard to maintain without understanding unless a TPE approach is taken and desired.
Many kinks need to be explored over a long period of time to be appreciated. To maintain mutual stimulation is a labour of love but so fulfilling when achieved.
I am keen to explore my sub side but lack commitment. If the correct match could be found it would be wonderful. However, with my own selfish desire for gratification my hopes and wishes are likely unrealistic.
Just a couple of thoughts...

 

[Jaro]

Writing good and detailed reports! Not only about the details of the task but also how it made them feel. Harder then it seems!

 

[Pluky]

More the emotional aspects :

- A Sub might complain about something as if she hates it, it could just be a part of how she likes to enjoy her discomfort, a way to make the situation more immersive

- It's hard to think straight when you're on the receiving end of pain and discomfort, Subs can't be held at the same standard at all times communication wise (choosing the right words, knowing what to say and so on)

- Subs are so eager to please, desperate even, sometimes their world revolves around your happiness, so you can only imagine the weight and impact your upset and negative reactions can have on someone that puts themselves in such a vulnerable position towards you

- Some kinks might be super hot on paper for both roles but sometimes life just doesn't allow it to be as fun in practice

 

[CSasha]

I found domming a dom.me a very interesting point on your bucket list. I agree it should create great insights. It's like encouraging in Tango dancing to lead and follow both at least once to understand the other side.

I am rather surprised that there are only physical experiences on your list so far. I am sure you had a lot of mind stuff in your mind and just didn't note them so far. Just as proposals:

• How about non-sexual service?
• How about thinking of your top first?
• How about experiencing sub space?
• How about needing and experiencing aftercare as a sub?
• How about experiencing the loss of decision?
• How about experiencing uncertainty (in time, in what comes next, in when the hit comes or if at all)?
• How about experiencing catch 22?
• How about begging?
• How about asking to do a personal dislike from their like list?
• How about being honest to your own disadvantage?
• How about the experience of making yourself totally vulnerable?
• How about committing to something turning out to be too much for yourself?
• How about having to safe-word (hopefully in a rather good setup)?
• How about wanting to beat yourself up too much/asking for too much?
• How about being in the mood but your top not?

 

[Butterfly]

More the emotional aspects :

- A Sub might complain about something as if she hates it, it could just be a part of how she likes to enjoy her discomfort, a way to make the situation more immersive\

Yes! For me this is a big part of things. I need to be able to be a bit grumpy, or complain because being made to do something that I don't really want to do, is part of what makes it hot. This is why there are safewords to be able to communicate when I am seriously having a problem with something.

- Some kinks might be super hot on paper for both roles but sometimes life just doesn't allow it to be as fun in practice

Yes! Reality is so different than a perfect fantasy world.

 

[Masterfulsensation]

I can only speak for myself but as a Dom I wonder if subs realise MaleDoms can be on edge almost as much as they are lol. Sure we’ve got the control and choice about it, but I know if I don’t wait until almost the end of a hot session too, my sex drive and naughty thought process is going to dip for 20-30 minutes and somewhat spoil the intensity of what the sub is doing for me. Maybe just a happy thought for some of you subs out there

 

[The Brat Princess]

I feel the tasks to be set would largely depend upon the person and so not sure what could be added here. I do agree Experian ING not just writing a report but remembering to take not as you go through the task of each of those moments that stand out as important, each feeling of matter so that you can report them after. In the moment with sub space falling on (if it comes) and the mix of emotions and hormones from the moment. It can be easier said than done to remeber, moments can easily be lost in the mix of everything going on. I don't know that the extent of that can be understood till you are mid task mind fogging up hormones all over the place and everything going 100mph and stopped all at the same time.

Overestimating your abilities due to horny dumb brain and facing up to that and realising you now need to admit you overestimated what you could manage, which ties into what has been said with the impact of disappointing and letting down a Dom. It has already been said the weight that can have on a subby and I agree.

But hounestly, I feel the biggest thing someone who has only ever been dominant can learn from being a subby for a bit is just what it takes to surrender that control. On both sides it is difficult. There is a weight to having the power of a Dom and you need trust in your sub to be hounest, and for a sub there is the fear of disappointing and the weight and impact that carries. Just experiencing that level of trust and faith you need to put in and the weight the disappointment can have especially contrasted to the deep fulfilling power of impressing and making a Dom happy. I feel that would have the biggest impact. Most of the rest is kink spacific and will change based on Dom and sub but reports and the impact is mostly universal