- How to establish a solid online D/s dynamic—rituals, structure, daily rules, etc.
Remember while you’re the one in control, it’s the subs likes, dislikes and limits that matter and you need to plan with. Communication is important, make sure there aren’t any major clashes in what the 2 of you want, learn about the subs lifestyle, availability and generally how much time they want to put into this. As for rules, it depends how often you’re going to be in contact, if you’re going to be chatting throughout the day, too many rules can get in your own way, you’re there to keep telling them what to do anyway so keep rules basic to cover reinforcing the dynamic and what to do when you’re not in communication. Some subs want loads of rules though and you really have to try and give subs the overall experience they’re looking for to keep them interested online.
- Maintaining Dom energy remotely without slipping into “text buddy” territory
This can be tricky if they like to chat a lot about general things too, if the chemistry is there you should be okay, this is where the simple speech rules “sir” etc come in. Otherwise if they’re able you can still have them doing something for you while chatting, or if they’re not in privacy, at least be throwing things into the conversation about what’s coming later.
- Balancing dominance with authenticity—especially as someone who doesn’t want to just copy tropes
Just be yourself, this is where your compatibility comes in. As long as you have a good connection and enough shared likes, dominating them the way you want to should come quite naturally.
- Ways to practice and build Dom confidence, especially when doubt creeps in
Perhaps create one or two threads, putting tasks you’ve thought up out there for people to try and report on. This way you’re not making someone, that feels obliged to obey, try something, you’re getting feedback from people that read it and chose to do it for themselves. Good feedback will give you confidence and negative feedback will at least draw your attention to something that doesn’t work so well, before you tell your own sub to do it. I think you’ve probably got an extra perspective from subbing yourself that’s taught you more than you realise and actually gives you an advantage over someone new that’s strictly a Dom/me.
- Common pitfalls for new online Doms, and what helped you avoid or overcome them
Try not to get drawn into trying things you don’t understand because the sub is asking for it. If it’s harmless fine but otherwise do a little research, ask advice in chat and make sure you’ve got your head around it before exploring it.
Establishing if your sub is completely genuine in what they’re doing without pushing for pictures if they aren’t comfortable with them. I don’t know that there’s an easy solution to this other than using your own judgement in what they’re saying. I’ve lost count of how many girls I’ve come across that seemed awesome initially but then the things they’re saying just don’t add up. It can be frustrating but as the Dom you really have to just take it on the chin and move on.
Think ahead and cover as many bases as you can to keep your sub safe and not getting caught out. Don’t just take for granted they’re going to think of potential problems and point them out, they can often be too lost in the moment to think of obvious pitfalls. For example I was chatting to a girl while she was in class once, the previous day she’d mentioned having sports, So I got her to pop in the bathroom at lunch and do some body writing, seemed simple enough to me then an hour later she started panicking that she had sport again later that day and would have to undress in the locker rooms. Now I couldn’t have guessed her timetable and wouldn’t have expected a 2nd sport lesson in 2 days but somehow you’ve got to think of and cover these things.
Hopefully something there helps you, good luck
