I am poly and have multiple partners. I currently have three poly relationships and am exploring a fourth.
Although we have separate relationships/dynamics, we all use a group Discord server to do things together and communicate openly as a poly family. We have a hierarchy of control which dictates who can give tasks to other group members.
I love all of my partners, even if it is in different ways. Also, even though I consider Mr. Devious my primary relationship, it doesn't mean that he always gets my top priority. I like to give priority to the person who needs it at that time. For example, Mr. Devious and I were having a movie night and Jaro text to let us know that his grandma had passed away, I took time away from Mr. Devious to be there to support Jaro. Everybody is equally important to me and I do what I can to support all of my partners when it is needed. There is also an advantage to having a group Discord and that is that we can all be there for each other.
I get asked a lot by those who know that I am poly, if there is ever jealousy. Jealousy happens! It is a normal human emotion. However, I think a lot of vanilla or monogamous people feel like they can only love one person at a time. My personal view is that if I love a second (or third or fourth) person, I don't have to take away love from the first person. Instead, my love just grows to include another person.
With my established relationships, it is easy to feel secure in that fact. I know that Mr. Devious loves and adores me and would do anything for me, even if he loves somebody else. I openly encourage Jaro to look for a romantic relationship to explore, even if that means we may need to end our power exchange dynamic. I know that even if he falls in love, he would always be my very good friend.
That being said, it isn't always easy to get to that place, especially as you are starting a relationship. I have insecurities and negative narratives that have been ingrained in me. Sometimes I need extra reassurance and love. But when I do, I openly ask for that.
Communication is the most important part of any relationship, and that is even more true when you have multiple relationships at the same time. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and open and communicating those things is scary and hard, but it is necessary for the relationship to be successful.
As much work as it may be, as hard as it may be at times, I am so lucky to be loved by three different people. To have such an amazing support system. I love all my people so much. I can't imagine not being poly. This just feels right to me.
- Mr. Devious: I would consider this my primary relationship. We are married. We met on another kink forum 11 years ago. He began as my Dom and we fell in love. I moved across the country to live with him. Once we settled in to live together, we realized that a power exchange dynamic just didn't work between us.
- Jaro: Jaro and I have been together for 7.5 years. We have a power exchange dynamic - he is the sub, and I am his Domme. We do not have romantic feelings for each other, but we love each other deeply.
- ObsidianDusk: We have been together for 2.5 years. We are long distance. We are in a romantic relationship together and we are kinky and switch with each other in the bedroom or when we are together in person.
- New Relationship: I am currently exploring with a Dommy/Daddy type guy who I met on Reddit. It has only been a few weeks and we aren't official or anything but I am enjoying getting to know him and like him a lot.
Although we have separate relationships/dynamics, we all use a group Discord server to do things together and communicate openly as a poly family. We have a hierarchy of control which dictates who can give tasks to other group members.
I love all of my partners, even if it is in different ways. Also, even though I consider Mr. Devious my primary relationship, it doesn't mean that he always gets my top priority. I like to give priority to the person who needs it at that time. For example, Mr. Devious and I were having a movie night and Jaro text to let us know that his grandma had passed away, I took time away from Mr. Devious to be there to support Jaro. Everybody is equally important to me and I do what I can to support all of my partners when it is needed. There is also an advantage to having a group Discord and that is that we can all be there for each other.
I get asked a lot by those who know that I am poly, if there is ever jealousy. Jealousy happens! It is a normal human emotion. However, I think a lot of vanilla or monogamous people feel like they can only love one person at a time. My personal view is that if I love a second (or third or fourth) person, I don't have to take away love from the first person. Instead, my love just grows to include another person.
With my established relationships, it is easy to feel secure in that fact. I know that Mr. Devious loves and adores me and would do anything for me, even if he loves somebody else. I openly encourage Jaro to look for a romantic relationship to explore, even if that means we may need to end our power exchange dynamic. I know that even if he falls in love, he would always be my very good friend.
That being said, it isn't always easy to get to that place, especially as you are starting a relationship. I have insecurities and negative narratives that have been ingrained in me. Sometimes I need extra reassurance and love. But when I do, I openly ask for that.
Communication is the most important part of any relationship, and that is even more true when you have multiple relationships at the same time. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and open and communicating those things is scary and hard, but it is necessary for the relationship to be successful.
As much work as it may be, as hard as it may be at times, I am so lucky to be loved by three different people. To have such an amazing support system. I love all my people so much. I can't imagine not being poly. This just feels right to me.
