Moving forward

Well quite fast to be honest...

Last week on wednesday when he broke up I met someone I already met but for sex only.
It was a bit of a defiant reaction and also a coping strategy. It didn't take long, we were back in the basement, having vaginal and anal sex, and he came by ejaculating on my face. After that, he couldn't continue like last time.

Since several men had contacted me, I wrote to a few of them. Things got more serious with one of them, who was unfortunately married but supposedly in an open relationship and, unfortunately, also much younger than me. But he was in a hotel near me four days a week because of his work.

We made a date yesterday. I went to see him, we met in front of the hotel, then he took me upstairs. Upstairs, we just talked for quite a while. I'd never had that before. About all kinds of things. Then he told me to get up, take off my top first, then my pants, and then sit on the bed, and we talked some more.

Then he told me to lie down and he started caressing me and exploring my body. Then he said he didn't want me to watch him and put the pillow over my face. It wasn't very pleasant because it was warm under the pillow and I couldn't hear him very well when he said something. But otherwise I thought it was quite good. At some point he took off my underwear and continued to explore me, putting his fingers inside me and rubbing me. Once he took my hand...

Once he took my hand and put his penis in it and I jerked him off a little, but not for long. Then he started licking me, which I don't like at all, and he kept saying I wasn't allowed to come. Then he stuck a finger in my butt and continued licking me...

It was pretty intense. Then he put on a condom and started to fuck me. His penis isn't that big, so I'm used to something else now, so I didn't feel him that much.

After a while, he turned me over, but the position wasn't so good. Then he told me to lie on my back again and that I should come. But since I had already come twice the day before and it was really difficult while being watched, I couldn't do it. Once he squeezed my throat, but only briefly... When I couldn't do it, he said I could stop, but if I didn't come, he wouldn't come either, so he got dressed again and I was allowed to get dressed too.

I didn't like that very much, and then he said I looked like I was about to cry. I was a little shocked that he basically broke it off. Then he hugged me, which was so strange, but also kind of nice and unusual... When I think about how my previous Dom treated me... it's completely different... Then we talked briefly about what we had experienced.

He said he would like me to fight back, at least a little bit. I'm not sure exactly how that should look or be possible, but I'll figure that out... Then he also said that he can only come if I come too... That's a bit stupid in general, because I actually don't like to come... But anyway, he walked me downstairs and we talked briefly in front of the hotel, then I went home...

I'm curious to see what happens. Obviously, it's not something for the long term, because he's married and, open relationship or not, I'm looking for a partner... But let's see if he's even interested, because I haven't heard from him yet today.

 

[Jolly*FtM]

He just sent me a quick message saying that things were very stressful, and I haven't heard from him since.

I've had that happen before, and it's not a good sign.

I just met up with someone else, in my basement, I've been messaging for ages, but it never worked out, though it didn't take very long either. First I gave him a blowjob, then we did doggy style, then he took off the condom and came in my mouth and I swallowed. All in all, it took less than 10 minutes and it tasted kind of gross.

Tomorrow I'm meeting someone else, and maybe on Sunday too. I've already met the guy I'm meeting tomorrow, the one I had to give a blowjob to for so long, but he's giving me a little money again. And on Sunday I'm meeting someone who just talks. I've never met him before either. Let's see, he's a dom, but he's also pretty extreme. I'm a little afraid he might hurt me, but let's see if he actually shows up.

 

[Jolly*FtM]

No hook up today.

The person I was supposed to meet canceled because it would be too stressful for him, and I canceled on another interested one because I thought I would do something meaningful today...

Well, that didn't happen... I only thought about that one thing, but at least I did a little housework...

I'm very curious to see whether I'll meet the other person tomorrow or not...

 

[Jolly*FtM]

I still think about my previous dom a lot. I feel torn; it annoys me so much that he cheated me out of money and the way he behaved in general. On the one hand, I wish he would write to me again, but on the other hand, I would be afraid because I wouldn't know how to deal with it. Although I seriously doubt it, he simply took advantage of me.

But that's also kind of the difficult thing, especially when you're into being used in the kink scene, where is the line?

The guy I met on Monday hasn't gotten in touch either, which I find really strange because I really wouldn't have expected that from him. The way he acted, everything seemed so trustworthy.

It took a lot of effort to use me, it wasn't necessary, but that's just how it is now.

I don't think I'm in the mood to meet anyone today, the weather is crap and I should really be doing something else, which I will do later.

I've already been to the gym today and had breakfast, now I'm going to take a shower and then I'll do some work that I should have finished last week.

Hopefully it won't take too long and then I'll relax for the rest of the day and gather my strength for the new week. Things are pretty bad at work right now, so I need my strength.

I would like to share a picture with you. We have had quite a lot of snow lately, but fortunately most of it has melted away because it has been raining so much and the weather has gotten warmer again.

Even though it looks beautiful, I'll be glad when it's over. I hate winter and the cold.