Mental Health Issues and D/s dynamics

[Anonymous (d400)]

I’m in my first dynamic and am the submissive partner. It’s going really well and before making the dynamic official we had been talking for months, with some episodic play, but also getting to know each other.
My mental health has been challenging and we spoke about it as it went on before agreeing on the dynamic.
They’re very caring and considerate and I know they’re just worried and trying to help. I feel so guilty for causing them concern, I don’t want to lie to them, but I hate feeling like I’m letting them down and bringing my mess into their life.
I do have professional help, and waiting for specialist input, and not asking my Dom to fix these things, but they check in on how I’m going with behaviours and general health.
I’m feeling so guilty for my baggage and scared it’s making it less fun for them and I want to be fun and make them happy.
Not sure how best to navigate my mental health and the dynamic.

 

[Butterfly]

This honestly feels like I could have been the person writing it.

I deal with chronic pain, anxiety and I have a few other health concerns (like a non-cancerous brain tumor).

I like to share these details with my partners because it can affect my everyday life, my mood, my mental health and what activities I can tolerate day to day. But I hate feeling like I am complaining. I hate that there always seems to be something that I am trying to deal with and overcome.

I would rather pretend it's not there and ignore it, but I also know that my partners need to know and faking it isn't helpful to any of us. This is especially important to a Dom who might want me to follow rules, complete tasks etc.

But I tend to feel guilty. I feel like I'm "too much" and I feel like I am just being negative. And then I feel like a burden and like my partners deserve better.

This is a constant struggle for me.

On the flip side, as a Domme myself, or even just as a partner, I want to know these things about my sub/partners. It's helpful to know. We are all human and we all have something to deal with. Adulting sucks. If somebody looks like their killing it, their lying!

I firmly believe what I just wrote about but of course I struggle with taking that to heart when I'm talking about myself

 

[Masterfulsensation]

I’ve had my own struggles with mental health for years, if it’s to do with OCD or anything at all similar you’re welcome to pm me to talk about it. Things WILL. improve but for now it’s part of who you are, you don’t need to hide it from people that care about you, whether that’s real life or online. If you’ve been talking for months your dominant has clearly grown very fond of you, I don’t imagine they see it as a burden at all and genuinely want to both help you and avoid triggering you so just keep being completely open with them about it. It’s okay to let people care about you, that’s not something to feel guilty about.
I hope things start improving for you very soon and hope you have a wonderful time in your dynamic

 

[picaboo]

Mental health is a struggle a lot of us seem to have in the bdsm community. Most people I meet seem to struggle with it but I don't know if that's exclusive to our community or maybe just humans as a whole. I struggle with depression and anxiety my self among a couple other things and it's always talked about with my partners I use to not want it to be there burden but honestly I have grown out of that. If they want to play with me or do a scene they have to accept that aspect of me and take on that responsibility just like any partner you have must do the same for you. Kink is about the human connection just as much as any other relationship if not more so and to many try to remove it.
If it's to much "baggage" for your partner to handle than there not mature enough to play with you. They don't deserve you.

 

[Anonymous (d400)]

I want to thank you all for your kind replies and insight. I want to stress they’ve been extremely careful and caring with my issues and I struggle more with letting them care for me as I’m used to hiding it.
I do trust them and they’ve definitely proved they deserve the trust.
Think I’m most struggling with them expressing concern and worry as I hate that I’ve made them feel like that. I don’t want them to worry, but things have been tough and I’m not too long out of the psych and there’s been talk of returning which has heightened concerns

 

[The Brat Princess]

I will secound everything said so far. Even if it isnt mental health everyone has things that they are dealing with. It is hart warming that you feel comfortable to open up and that they are there for you. As has been said after a few months I am sure there would be a bound that you have built with eachother. While it may feel you are being a burden, your not. You are you, and you are getting help which is amazingly good and not an easy thing to do. While it can feel like you are taking advantage or putting too much on them to accept support, clearly it is support they want to give.

I hope things go well for you both and being open can help facilitate that (: best of luck and know you are not alone

 

[Anonymous (8cfb)]

I want to thank you all for your kind replies and insight. I want to stress they’ve been extremely careful and caring with my issues and I struggle more with letting them care for me as I’m used to hiding it.
I do trust them and they’ve definitely proved they deserve the trust.
Think I’m most struggling with them expressing concern and worry as I hate that I’ve made them feel like that. I don’t want them to worry, but things have been tough and I’m not too long out of the psych and there’s been talk of returning which has heightened concerns

I feel that for sure. I am used to hiding my pain with my online partners. If we are chatting on the phone, I don't want to move if I know it will cause me to make ouchie noises because I dont want them to feel bad. Especially since they can't do anything to help it. It makes me feel so guilty.