Lonely

[LittleBear]

Do you ever feel lonely?
Is it something that happens almost regularly or is there something that triggers it?
Does the radio help you not feel lonely?
Is there anything else you can do when you are feeling lonely to help?

 

[CarnalSensuality]

TL;DR: Yes, triggers, who's radio? Apparently!

1. Yeah, I've had a lifetime of having trouble finding friends - let alone partners, let alone kinksters/playmates. So loneliness has been a pretty regular repeat in my life, more obvious when I go to work in a new city.

2. Triggers - over the years it has been anything from seeing other groups laughing, hearing music from past loves, being my only person at a Con, or even seeing a personal ad which sounds wonderful - up until they say I'm too old.

3. Radio? Who is this "radio"?

4. Sometimes distractions: old music I love, video games, a lighter book or graphic novel, or go sleep.. I think the only Real Help is to cry it out (that's pretty rare), or to reconnect with an actual, good friend (possibly more rare for me).
EXCEPT that joining this site, then getting some immediate positive feedback put the loneliness back to sleep for most of a day! So thanks for that @Butterfly and @WildCallie !

 

[Butterfly]

Do you ever feel lonely?
Is it something that happens almost regularly or is there something that triggers it?
Does the radio help you not feel lonely?
Is there anything else you can do when you are feeling lonely to help?

I do. Considering I have multiple partner, run community groups, have some good friends and am almost always doing something social, I am surprisingly lonely. I struggle to feel seen.
I think for me it's a craving of something deeper. More than surface level. I want connection. I want to feel seen, heard and wanted.
It is something that happens a lot to be honest.
I rarely listen to the radio but having the tv or a podcast on in the background can help sometimes.
Honestly, nothing really. I know that isn't what you want to hear.

4. Sometimes distractions: old music I love, video games, a lighter book or graphic novel, or go sleep.. I think the only Real Help is to cry it out (that's pretty rare), or to reconnect with an actual, good friend (possibly more rare for me).
EXCEPT that joining this site, then getting some immediate positive feedback put the loneliness back to sleep for most of a day! So thanks for that @Butterfly and @WildCallie !

Awwww, I am so glad you were made to feel welcome and less loneley

 

[CarnalSensuality]

I do. ... I am surprisingly lonely. I struggle to feel seen.
I think for me it's a craving of something deeper. More than surface level. I want connection. I want to feel seen, heard and wanted.
It is something that happens a lot to be honest.

_hugs_
"I struggle to feel seen" is a common thought - but even saying that out loud is another form of vulnerability, which can be accepted or rejected.

I accept that part of You, Butterfly, and I'd be curious to learn more - as appropriate.

I know my own version of what You've said. One example: one relationship started strong, almost spontaneously for me as a Dom with deep hints of connection and feeding each others' needs and desires. But after sharing weekly sessions for a couple months it became obvious that she was no longer seeing me as more than a kink/sex dispenser - I'd driver her over, she'd relax into her non-normal-life space, and then she'd just go at it, the same approach every time - wouldn't even ask what I felt like doing, let alone if I wanted to do the same thing yet again this week. It was disheartening, noticing that there was a gulf between us, and did NOT engage my Dom-self/energy or even my libido. We needed to renegotiate the relationship at that point. I could be a service Top if we nixed the kissing and assumption of there being romance when there wasn't much of a connection at all.

 

[Raziel78]

Do you ever feel lonely? Yes, at times i do
Is it something that happens almost regularly or is there something that triggers it? Being ignored at work and generally not having many friends due to being an introvert, over the years i've become accustomed to.it but still.hars at times.
Does the radio help you not feel lonely? To a degree, yes although i find musicbkn general soothing
Is there anything else you can do when you are feeling lonely to help? Generally just try to think of something else

 

[The Brat Princess]

Do you ever feel lonely?

Yes. I am an introvert who is drawn to extroverted people. Which creates a problem in that I never want to go out and they always do. This isn't always a problem, but has lead to me struggling to maintain friendships. Made worse by a long-term relationship that was abusive and isolating. What friends I did have were lost then and I never really totally recovered from that. I am still recovering and almost all my friends are online now. This has lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation of the years. But has been far better the last couple of years.

Is it something that happens almost regularly or is there something that triggers it?

Yes. Silent empty large spaces are the biggest trigger, it feels almost as though there should be life in spaces like that which leaves me feeling I am the cause of the emptiness even when I know it isn't the case.

Does the radio help you not feel lonely?

No, it feels too artificial, I start talking to the hosts and that just reminds me I am alone, you can insert podcasts, youtube and other media formats in here. Same thing happens with each.

Is there anything else you can do when you are feeling lonely to help?

Unfortunately there is a wide difference between being alone and being lonely, you can be in the largest crowd and still feel completely alone. The only thing I have found that works consistently is building a genuine bound with people. Which can be hard to do, but its what works for me. Just having one person who even simply messages every couple of days if they have not heard from me, it makes me feel seen, thought of and wanted. Which helps me feel less lonely.

 

[deschut]

Do you ever feel lonely?
>> Mostly not really, I have quite some people around me, work, personal, online!
Is it something that happens almost regularly or is there something that triggers it?
>> When I have a scarse period of not being too busy I could get lonely - I have been in the past. But it hasn't happened at all lately, way too busy!
Does the radio help you not feel lonely?
>> I don't like driving when it's completely silent, nowadays I have long chats while on the road - otherwise listen to music!
Is there anything else you can do when you are feeling lonely to help?
>> Generally I use a moment to catch up with my family! I live a bit further away from them - so it's a good moment to connect. Also watching a movie helps!

 

[snoek]

Do you ever feel lonely?

I tend to go into my room to be alone, but still live with family, don't think I've really felt lonely before.

Is it something that happens almost regularly or is there something that triggers it?

I think the only times I've felt lonely is when I get into a big argument with father. At least before I met princess I had nobody I could really go to about that kind of stuff which led to me isolating myself even more at times.

Does the radio help you not feel lonely?

I do not often listen to the radio, but I don't think so. Podcast indonlike. I just don't like the people on the radio often...

Is there anything else you can do when you are feeling lonely to help?

As I'm either being social or in voice chat with princess all day long I can't say it is often. If it would happen now I would just go to princess.. without princess... I'm really not sure to be honest. Even tho quite a few things happened through my life and I was bullied, I always had at least alright help with it from professionals (: