A
Anonymous (5dba)
Guest
Recently I've been struggling at work. I've been messing up a lot, taking way too long to do my work, and this last week has been particularly bad as everything I do seems to go wrong. I made a mistake during the week and lied about it, even though I probably didn't have to. I probably wouldn't have gotten in any trouble but I've been starting to feel like everyone at work thinks I'm useless and I just panicked. Because of that initial lie I had to lie again to cover it up and again when I was doing the fix for it. I've been feeling guilty about it but even moreso anxious that my lie will be uncovered and I'll get fired for it. Lying was absolutely the wrong decision, especially for something that in hindsight wasn't that big of deal.
On top of all of this I'm not even sure my fix worked and now I'm dreading coming in on Monday to find out if what I did caused any bigger problems. At worst I'll have ruined several months worth of work although that seems unlikely since there are back-ups that should be able to handle any such large errors.
I'm just tired of being such a fuck-up and I want to be good at my job. Also, I am barely making ends meet as it is so losing this job will set me back significantly.
There are so many ways I've been failing in my life lately but this job was not supposed to be one of them. With this and other things I don't even know what to do to improve my situation and I'm scared that things will continue like this for the rest of my life.
Well, that was my rant and even if I'm just speaking into the void I felt like I just had to say it somewhere, to get my thoughts out in the world in some form.
On top of all of this I'm not even sure my fix worked and now I'm dreading coming in on Monday to find out if what I did caused any bigger problems. At worst I'll have ruined several months worth of work although that seems unlikely since there are back-ups that should be able to handle any such large errors.
I'm just tired of being such a fuck-up and I want to be good at my job. Also, I am barely making ends meet as it is so losing this job will set me back significantly.
There are so many ways I've been failing in my life lately but this job was not supposed to be one of them. With this and other things I don't even know what to do to improve my situation and I'm scared that things will continue like this for the rest of my life.
Well, that was my rant and even if I'm just speaking into the void I felt like I just had to say it somewhere, to get my thoughts out in the world in some form.
