- Joined
- Jan 4, 2026
- Gender
- Non-binary
- Pride
Pansexual
Have you been posting in the personal section without much luck? Or maybe you want to put yourself out there but aren’t sure where to start. In either case, perhaps I could guide you.
First and foremost, I feel I have to make some disclaimers. Some personals will get more replies than others, regardless of the contents. Those who are very active here, are more well known will get a lot of responses. Why? Because people know them, know what they’re interested in and in general how they give and complete tasks. Additionally there is the demand aspect. Coming from GetDare and scrolling through the personals here, there are more men looking for women then women looking for partners. Naturally, a woman posting a personal will get more response. What I’m trying to say is that some of the factors contributing to response rate are not always within our control. But a lot of them are so let me give you some tips and tricks.
DOs:
1. Be as detailed as possible, especially about your likes/dislikes/limits, and what you’re looking for. This allows others to see if they are a good fit for you personally and kink wise.
2. Be active elsewhere on KW. Yes this is stole from one of Butterfly’s posts, but it is very good advice. Having a lot of posts gives potential respondees inset to the kind of tasks you give, how responsive you are to dares, what reporting style looks like and just helps them get to know you a bit better.
3. Be truthful. This may seem like an obvious one but I’ve come across people saying that a limit is okay with them and then having them trying to get you to break a limit. Will being completely honest with what your likes and limits are completely prevent this? No. But it can help prevent any miscommunication.
4. Be patient. You may not find what you’re looking for immediately. Take it from me, I’ve played with several Doms but I still haven’t found the right one for me and that’s okay. You also don’t need to rush in to playing right away. It’s nice to chat and get to know someone first, see if they are a good fit for you.
So you’ve found a personal you want to respond to but aren’t quite sure how to approach the author. Well lucky you, I’m an expert in this subject!
Responding DOs:
1. PM the author, tell them why you’re messaging them (you saw their ad, and you think you’d be a good fit for them because X, Y, Z). You can reply to the ad saying you sent them a PM but generally starting the conversation in PMs is better because it will move there anyways. Also, don’t just say “Hi”. If someone just messages me “Hi”, my first thought is ‘why tf is this person messaging me’ and it’s just a the conversation off with me being annoyed.
2. Be respectful, if the author says no, I don’t think you are a good fit for me or they say they’ve already found someone, then respect their answer. Do not continue to message them and harass them. I promise you, this will not win them over, it will just get you ignored.
3. Make sure you are the target audience of the ad before you respond. If the author is asking for women only and you are not women or femme, do not respond. I’ve seen this happen a lot and it won’t get you anywhere. Additionally if one of the author’s limits is a dealbreaker for you, then don’t message them. Asking someone to break a limit is extremely disrespectful and will likely get you ignored.
Lastly, don’t be discouraged if you aren’t having much luck with personals. There are so many kinky people out there and sometimes it just takes time to come across the right one.
First and foremost, I feel I have to make some disclaimers. Some personals will get more replies than others, regardless of the contents. Those who are very active here, are more well known will get a lot of responses. Why? Because people know them, know what they’re interested in and in general how they give and complete tasks. Additionally there is the demand aspect. Coming from GetDare and scrolling through the personals here, there are more men looking for women then women looking for partners. Naturally, a woman posting a personal will get more response. What I’m trying to say is that some of the factors contributing to response rate are not always within our control. But a lot of them are so let me give you some tips and tricks.
DOs:
1. Be as detailed as possible, especially about your likes/dislikes/limits, and what you’re looking for. This allows others to see if they are a good fit for you personally and kink wise.
2. Be active elsewhere on KW. Yes this is stole from one of Butterfly’s posts, but it is very good advice. Having a lot of posts gives potential respondees inset to the kind of tasks you give, how responsive you are to dares, what reporting style looks like and just helps them get to know you a bit better.
3. Be truthful. This may seem like an obvious one but I’ve come across people saying that a limit is okay with them and then having them trying to get you to break a limit. Will being completely honest with what your likes and limits are completely prevent this? No. But it can help prevent any miscommunication.
4. Be patient. You may not find what you’re looking for immediately. Take it from me, I’ve played with several Doms but I still haven’t found the right one for me and that’s okay. You also don’t need to rush in to playing right away. It’s nice to chat and get to know someone first, see if they are a good fit for you.
So you’ve found a personal you want to respond to but aren’t quite sure how to approach the author. Well lucky you, I’m an expert in this subject!
Responding DOs:
1. PM the author, tell them why you’re messaging them (you saw their ad, and you think you’d be a good fit for them because X, Y, Z). You can reply to the ad saying you sent them a PM but generally starting the conversation in PMs is better because it will move there anyways. Also, don’t just say “Hi”. If someone just messages me “Hi”, my first thought is ‘why tf is this person messaging me’ and it’s just a the conversation off with me being annoyed.
2. Be respectful, if the author says no, I don’t think you are a good fit for me or they say they’ve already found someone, then respect their answer. Do not continue to message them and harass them. I promise you, this will not win them over, it will just get you ignored.
3. Make sure you are the target audience of the ad before you respond. If the author is asking for women only and you are not women or femme, do not respond. I’ve seen this happen a lot and it won’t get you anywhere. Additionally if one of the author’s limits is a dealbreaker for you, then don’t message them. Asking someone to break a limit is extremely disrespectful and will likely get you ignored.
Lastly, don’t be discouraged if you aren’t having much luck with personals. There are so many kinky people out there and sometimes it just takes time to come across the right one.