Help shape the future of Kinky Wonderland – Quick questionnaire for the ladies

[Bloxo]

Men are welcome to read, but please don’t answer – I really want to hear from the women first

Hello everyone!


I'm a fellow member who's been thinking about how we can make Kinky Wonderland an even better, more welcoming, and more enjoyable place — especially for the women here (and anyone considering joining).


Right now the gender ratio is very male-heavy (which is pretty normal for kink sites), and I’d love to create more content, games, and activities that actually match what the women on the site want. So I’m putting together this short questionnaire. Your honest answers will really help me (and others) create better posts, events, and experiences.


Feel free to answer as many or as few questions as you like.

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1. How do you identify?
   • Cis woman
   • Trans woman
   • Non-binary / Genderfluid / Other (This just helps see if different groups have different preferences)
2. What kind of engagement do you enjoy most on the site?(Pick your top 2–3)
   • Public group chats / discussions
   • Themed games & roleplay scenarios
   • Answering questions / questionnaires
   • Dares & light challenges
   • Posting pictures / sharing content
   • Private messaging (1-on-1)
   • Watching / reacting to others’ posts
   • Something else? (please say what)
3. In terms of dynamics, do you lean more towards:
   • Submissive
   • Switch
   • Dominant
   • Not sure / varies a lot / none of the above
4. How do you generally feel when you receive private messages (PMs) from other members? (Open answer – e.g. excited, neutral, overwhelmed, flattered, annoyed, pressured, etc.)
5. What has been your best experience on Kinky Wonderland so far? (What made it good?)
6. What has been your worst or most uncomfortable experience on the site? (No need for names – just what happened and why it felt bad)
7. What would you like to see more of on the site? (e.g. specific types of games, topics, rules, atmosphere, events, etc.)
8. What would you like to see less of on the site?
9. Is there anything that would make you feel safer or more comfortable posting / participating? (e.g. moderation ideas, posting guidelines, anonymous options, themed weeks, etc.)
10. Any other thoughts or ideas for making the site better for women / female-identifying members?

Thank you in advance to any women who take a few minutes to reply — I really appreciate it and will do my best to turn your feedback into fun, positive content for everyone.

 

[SilkAndSour]

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1. How do you identify?
   • Cis woman
   • Trans woman
   • Non-binary / Genderfluid / Other (This just helps see if different groups have different preferences)

Cis

1. What kind of engagement do you enjoy most on the site?(Pick your top 2–3)
   • Public group chats / discussions
   • Themed games & roleplay scenarios
   • Answering questions / questionnaires
   • Dares & light challenges
   • Posting pictures / sharing content
   • Private messaging (1-on-1)
   • Watching / reacting to others’ posts
   • Something else? (please say what)

• Definitely public group chats since it helps to communicate more openly about many topics, not just kink.
• Helping others suffer have fun through all kinds of Add threads, Dares and similar that people come up with.
• Blogs - quite important in my opinion - especially since Kink is such a huge topic and its helpful when you read something and either i.e. see that someone is in a similar Situation as you are or learn something new.
• Voice Chat - helps you learn people better, relax and just have fun conversations, even if its not easy for everyone to talk

1. In terms of dynamics, do you lean more towards:
   • Submissive
   • Switch
   • Dominant
   • Not sure / varies a lot / none of the above

Switch

1. How do you generally feel when you receive private messages (PMs) from other members? (Open answer – e.g. excited, neutral, overwhelmed, flattered, annoyed, pressured, etc.)

Depends on what kind of a PM it is. And how many. Sometimes i literally have a full PM list of different people with which ive never spoken before. At the beginning it was very overwhelming. Especially since some just ask you for tasks or dares or have very personal questions although you never talked before.

Im quite open about almost everything and anything. So if you just wanna talk or get to know me, id love to talk. Or even if you just need someone to listen, id be happy to.

But anything else without a prior communication will mostly get an ignore from me. Sometimes i unfortunately dont feel mentally well and just lurk. But would never ignore on purpose..

1. What has been your best experience on Kinky Wonderland so far? (What made it good?)

Honest, direct and open people and (smaller) community.
A chance to be yourself, even if you yourself are not comfortable with yourself.
A chance to learn a lot. About yourself. New tasks. How people tick.
Feeling accepted no matter how weird or crazy you are.
Being there for each other.

1. What has been your worst or most uncomfortable experience on the site? (No need for names – just what happened and why it felt bad)

Overwhelming feeling on more than one ocassion, where i just felt like someones jerk off waste thing or a vending machine. Not something people do on purpose, but if you are someone who cant easily say no or just make people aware that you are a real person, it can become too much where you feel like you need space to breathe from everything.

1. What would you like to see more of on the site? (e.g. specific types of games, topics, rules, atmosphere, events, etc.)
2. What would you like to see less of on the site?

I think its going in a good direction. I personally wouldnt add too much stuff at once. But rather wish that others would feel more free to participate.

1. Is there anything that would make you feel safer or more comfortable posting / participating? (e.g. moderation ideas, posting guidelines, anonymous options, themed weeks, etc.)

So far, Butterfly and Inkwarden have been very helpful and open about other peoples suggestions. As far as im concerned, its perfect the way it is.

1. Any other thoughts or ideas for making the site better for women / female-identifying members?

This is mostly for those who only think with their genitals, not just men:
- if you ask for a Task, and get a Task, please respect other peoples time for this and give a report when you are done with the Task, no matter how big or small it is
- just because people are on this site, does not mean that they want to be used as your toy or other way around
- before interacting with someone please read their profile and respect their boundaries

 

[The Brat Princess]

Men are welcome to read, but please don’t answer – I really want to hear from the women first

Hello everyone!


I'm a fellow member who's been thinking about how we can make Kinky Wonderland an even better, more welcoming, and more enjoyable place — especially for the women here (and anyone considering joining).


Right now the gender ratio is very male-heavy (which is pretty normal for kink sites), and I’d love to create more content, games, and activities that actually match what the women on the site want. So I’m putting together this short questionnaire. Your honest answers will really help me (and others) create better posts, events, and experiences.


Feel free to answer as many or as few questions as you like.

---

1. How do you identify?
   • Cis woman
   • Trans woman
   • Non-binary / Genderfluid / Other (This just helps see if different groups have different preferences)

Trans

1. What kind of engagement do you enjoy most on the site?(Pick your top 2–3)
   • Public group chats / discussions
   • Themed games & roleplay scenarios
   • Answering questions / questionnaires
   • Dares & light challenges
   • Posting pictures / sharing content
   • Private messaging (1-on-1)
   • Watching / reacting to others’ posts
   • Something else? (please say what)

Group chat, answering questions, getting to know others. Basically I enjoy the community aspects with a little bit of play when it takes my fancy and someone is up for it and interesting enough.

1. In terms of dynamics, do you lean more towards:
   • Submissive
   • Switch
   • Dominant
   • Not sure / varies a lot / none of the above

Switch

1. How do you generally feel when you receive private messages (PMs) from other members? (Open answer – e.g. excited, neutral, overwhelmed, flattered, annoyed, pressured, etc.)

Mostly fine (I don't get an overwhelming amount of unsolicited messages here. The trans tag helps in that regard)

1. What has been your best experience on Kinky Wonderland so far? (What made it good?)

The community aspect. Finding great people I can chat with about random topics.

1. What has been your worst or most uncomfortable experience on the site? (No need for names – just what happened and why it felt bad)

Pass

1. What would you like to see more of on the site? (e.g. specific types of games, topics, rules, atmosphere, events, etc.)

The rules are already good in my opinion, balancing freedom with respectful perfectly. I can't see any rules that could be added at present. The games threads I rarely get involved with anyway, I prefer to get a task from someone who already knows me and can balance challenging with manageable well. The games threads often have to simplistic or non-relevant things so just don't capture my interest. Atmosphere, topics are mostly fine and events again don't always catch my interest anyway for other reasons.

1. What would you like to see less of on the site?

Dark mode elitists there is nothing wrong with light mode lol. But really, jokes aside, nothing comes to mind.

1. Is there anything that would make you feel safer or more comfortable posting / participating? (e.g. moderation ideas, posting guidelines, anonymous options, themed weeks, etc.)

Nope, I feel comfortable to post when I want to, there is already anon section where I often post non-anon as for the rest, not really no.

1. Any other thoughts or ideas for making the site better for women / female-identifying members?

Thank you in advance to any women who take a few minutes to reply — I really appreciate it and will do my best to turn your feedback into fun, positive content for everyone.

The problem here is for reasons anything implemented would only have some level of success. Let me explain further, the internet in general is always going to be a mixed bag of safety for women to some degree until cultural and societal influences change. For example Butterfly has made an excellent post about what women experience here. And that post isn't the only one online or elsewhere.... hell women have been explaining these issues since the 60's. Unfortunately society still heavily sexualizes women's bodies as a whole, especially young women and girls, it is everywhere, tv, movies, music, magazines, radio, politics, laws and general societal views it is taught to us before we even realize it is happening. Many of us will read things like Butterfly has shared and reflect on that and try to unlearn those things. But the worst perpetrators of it usually are aware its harmful and don't care or are unaware and unwilling to learn firm in their belief that they are right. And while they are the smaller minority they are a loud minority that can do a lot of harm very quickly. And this isn't a problem that just affects women, as women have been explaining all this time. The misogynistic views of society as a whole lead to problems for men too. Leading to the whole incel movement thing where the people causing these issues are further taught they aren't the problem... women are and only become worse and less willing to listen to anyone.

All that said, I am not saying it is a bad thing to try to encourage a safer environment for women on KW, I am just saying that there is no silver bullet to fix this one, we all harbor some misogynistic views to some extent. Even women. And unlearning that is not always so easy. But I will again point to Butterfly's post here as it is very well written and detailed with a lot of the problems women face not just here, but online in general.

Sorry, I know this isn't exactly the answer you were after, you were asking for the purpose of fun content. But the answer to why women don't get to that point is all the other issues. The content itself will only go so far..., You could create the funest most women friendly thread ever (obviously a hypothetical as women aren't a monolith after only one thing we each have our own interests) but if a women is going to be harassed in PM's, chased in chat and followed across threads and targeted the moment she posts there she isn't going to hang around, and that isn't something a single thread can change, it is the behaviors of the harasser that need to change. And unfortunately that is the only way I can see to answer this. Fun content is only one half of the problem, in fact there is plenty of content that would be fun here already as displayed by the female community we already have using it. The other half is what causes women to avoid sites like this as well as dating apps where it is also rife behavior.

 

[Babygirlblackout]

1. How do you identify? Cis woman
2. What kind of engagement do you enjoy most on the site?(Pick your top 2–3)
   • Answering questions / questionnaires
   • Add threads
3. In terms of dynamics, do you lean more towards:
   • Submissive/slave
   • Switch
   • It varies day to day
4. How do you generally feel when you receive private messages (PMs) from other members? Depends on the type of pm. Sometimes annoyed, overwhelmed
5. What has been your best experience on Kinky Wonderland so far? The add threads, mistress may I, the monthly challenges and fun activities like the scavenger hunt
6. What has been your worst or most uncomfortable experience on the site? Writing things and getting comments back that make me feel uncomfortable. People lurking on my profile to see when I’m online so they can ask for tasks
7. What would you like to see more of on the site? Games/events with sfw-ish options for those who don’t always feel like doing tasks for everyone to see. More questionnaires and this or that type things!
8. What would you like to see less of on the site? Can’t think of anything. Will come back later if I do
9. Is there anything that would make you feel safer or more comfortable posting / participating? Anonymous options, making photo albums private where only friends can see, themed weeks maybe? The ability to turn comments off for posts and pics (if that’s not already a thing)
10. Any other thoughts or ideas for making the site better for women / female-identifying members? Besides all that I’ve written, I think the site is already an amazing place for all genders. I don’t see any issues regarding inclusivity

 

[zeph]

1. How do you identify?
   • Non-binary but assigned female at birth
2. What kind of engagement do you enjoy most on the site?(Pick your top 2–3)
   • Answering questions / questionnaires
   • Dares & light challenges
   • Posting pictures / sharing content
3. In terms of dynamics, do you lean more towards:
   • Submissive though being nominated for best taskmaster (and losing) may mean I’m more switchy
4. How do you generally feel when you receive private messages (PMs) from other members? (Open answer – e.g. excited, neutral, overwhelmed, flattered, annoyed, pressured, etc.)
   • Depends. If it’s out of the blue, generally quite guarded. Especially if the title is just “Hi”, I can get a bit annoyed if the message is unsolicited requests for dares or a dare the sender wants me to complete. Getting an outright demand as the first message from someone is off putting and will not get a response from me.
5. What has been your best experience on Kinky Wonderland so far? (What made it good?)
   • I like chatting and getting to know fellow kinky people. I also like giving good dares, something I rarely got on the other site.
6. What has been your worst or most uncomfortable experience on the site? (No need for names – just what happened and why it felt bad)
   • I think it may be easy to figure out who this was but I’ll try to keep it vague. It was a response to one of my blogs. It felt like they didn’t actually read what I wrote and it honestly sounded more like they wanted to Dom me which is not the time or the place for that. I will admit I have been wishy-washy with considering getting in a D/s relationship but if I was, I would post in the personal section.
7. What would you like to see more of on the site? (e.g. specific types of games, topics, rules, atmosphere, events, etc.)
   • Better adherence to some of the rules…it annoys me when people post in the wrong section. Part of it is, I admit, my neurotic personality type but it’s not that hard to follow the rules guys.
8. What would you like to see less of on the site?
   • More of a personal thing but people only posting ads in the personal section and nothing else on this site. It gives me the ick when I look at an ad’s author and that’s all they’ve posted here
9. Is there anything that would make you feel safer or more comfortable posting / participating? (e.g. moderation ideas, posting guidelines, anonymous options, themed weeks, etc.)
   • I feel fairly comfortable here. I don’t have any qualms about fighting men on the internet lol. I’m also a staff member so I have the power
10. Any other thoughts or ideas for making the site better for women / female-identifying members?
    • I mean the Brat Princess summed my thoughts up perfectly. Making changes to a website won’t fix the systemic social issues at play here. I think men are going to need to realize how harmful their behavior is and make changes. And before someone says “not all men”, it’s enough men. When you burn your hand on a hot stove enough times, you learn not to touch the burner, it’s the same thing with male interactions. The stove may not be on but you’ve gotten burned so many times you’re not going to reach out and touch it

 

[Owena]

like.

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1. How do you identify?
   • Cis woman

Now i know what cis means

1. What kind of engagement do you enjoy most on the site?(Pick your top 2–3)
   • Answering questions / questionnaires
   • Dares & light challenges
   • Watching / reacting to others’ posts
2. In terms of dynamics, do you lean more towards:
   • Submissive
3. How do you generally feel when you receive private messages (PMs) from other members? (Open answer – e.g. excited, neutral, overwhelmed, flattered, annoyed, pressured, etc.)

Depends on the msg content

1. What has been your best experience on Kinky Wonderland so far? (What made it good?)

Just reading around, did one dare, proposed one. Im kind of lurker type, so not sure how helpful i could be with the site improvements...

1. What has been your worst or most uncomfortable experience on the site? (No need for names – just what happened and why it felt bad)

Not nice pm, i expect polite communication at least when not playing... Offensive first msg is not nice at all

1. What would you like to see more of on the site? (e.g. specific types of games, topics, rules, atmosphere, events, etc.)

Not sure, maybe some more elaborate yet not extreme dares. Not familiar with games and events yet.

1. What would you like to see less of on the site?

Havent seen anything that would bother me.

1. Is there anything that would make you feel safer or more comfortable posting / participating? (e.g. moderation ideas, posting guidelines, anonymous options, themed weeks, etc.)

Not really. That depends more on my horny level

1. Any other thoughts or ideas for making the site better for women / female-identifying members?

Not really