Sex and Gender.
Ok, lets talk sex and gender. I know, I know, you want the simple answer. We would all prefer the simple answer. But the truth is there is no simple answer here. If you have ever heard the what is a chair? example, this is why. (If you haven't not a problem, I will go over the basics
) Chairs have had so many variations to the way they are shaped and designed along with intended purposes since they were first created. Now there is so much variation that there is no single definition that could be applied that encompasses everything that is a chair and excludes everything that is not a chair, it just can not be done. But that is ok, because despite how complicated chairs are to define. We all still know what a chair is. Sure there are edge cases which some might debate if it is or is not a chair. But for the most part, we know. If we can manage to still understand chairs despite their complexity, we can understand gender and sex as it gets complicated. You might ask then why do we not already understand then? (Or you might not hehe. No judgment here.) Well the simple truth is that for the most part we grow up around the variance of chairs and just learn that they are so different. But most people can live their entire lives without ever meeting someone who douse not fit neatly in the gender binary. Added to this is that, unless you study more advanced levels of biology for the most part, most people are not taught anything beyond the gender binary. This leads to people going their entire lives into 20's, 30's or even further before they are first faced with someone outside that binary that then contradicts what they have always known to be right. That can be a hard thing to face. It is as though your whole world flipped upside-down and there is this new complicated unknown thing to grapple with. Now that we have gone over that this is complex, lets bite a bit deeper into this cake. Why are gender and sex separate?
Sex
Right.... So now we are getting deeper into the medical side, I will try not to dive too deeply into this, but... before I post. *RAINY13 CAN YOU CHECK MY MEDICAL STUFFS
* That said, there are a couple of biological aspects that align a person to one side of the binary or the other. But the problem is while in most cases they will align, it is not every case that they will. This is where we have to accept that there are intersex people, and that intersex people couldn't possibly fit in a binary model, because they are a third option somewhere between the two more common options. Sure we could try to force them into the binary, but that undermines their lived experience. Instead what we actually have is a bimodal system, where most will fall one side or the other. But not everyone. This is list of aspects of biological sex,
Gender
This is where we move from the world of biology, to social sciences. Why? Well because gender is a social construct created by people to decide what behaviors and appearances are acceptable for what sex. Different cultures and influences have had different ideas of what behaviors and appearances are acceptable, and diving into history there are even more variances of these ideas. For example in the 1800s of the western world men would be expected to be emotional and wear make up and high heels. Something that is less acceptable today. Gender is a social construct we are taught from a young age and most accept the construct never questioning it. However it also decides what jobs and hobbies are acceptable, and just one that I will point out is that for a long time it was believed gaming was for boys and that girls were bad at it. But was this a result of gender differences, or rather a result of Nintendo deciding to advertise their latest console in the boys isle of toy stores. A result of gender difference or a result of boys having 12+ years of practice where they were not socially judged for doing so. In truth there is no gender or sex difference that makes boys better at video games than girls, yet that one choice of Nintendo's sealed in the social conciseness that gaming was for boys. And just like that, girls were excluded from it. Something girls and women are still trying to undo the damage of to this day.
So in a quick summery. Sex is the biology that makes up a human body and is not restricted to two options, there is a wide variance of how it can turn out. Gender is the social expectations of that sex (How to dress, what career is acceptable, how to speak etc.)
Everyone's favorite, acceptable terminology... yayyyy!
I know that terminology can be complicated and a lot to remember, especially when it is advancing and changing over the years. But it can make a huge difference for the people involved when it is gotten right. And if you are you are ever unsure asking the person what the correct terminology is, is never rude, rather you will be respected more by the person. We don't expect everyone to immediately know, but by asking you are showing that while you don't currently know you do want to try to get it right. That can mean a lot. So what happens if you try and get it wrong? Well, nothing. The person involved is likely to say that it was not the right term and supply the more accurate one. But beyond that nothing. We can generally tell when it is accidental and we expect it to happen. It is barely a blip in our day. It only becomes hurtful if it becomes a conscious decision to deliberately use incorrect terminology or slurs repeatedly after it is explained why that is hurtful. So if you are worried about getting it wrong, not to worry, we all make mistakes. That is a part of learning. You tried and that was good.
Intersex: Lets start with a term that has already come up. Intersex is the terminology for a wide range of sex characteristics aligning in different ways. Sometimes but not always leading to characteristics of both sex's. In some cases this is noticeable, in others it is not. Some intersex people are capable of reproduction while others are not. There is a wide variance of intersex experience. (Once known as hermaphrodites, however this is a long outdated term and considered disrespectful to use.)
Transgender: This is what is known as an umbrella term or blanket term, the reason for this is it covers a wide range of sub categories, some from those categories may claim the term transgender while others might choose not to. The basis of this term though is to cover anyone who transgresses the gender lines. So that would include such things as drag kings/queens, crossdressers and transexuals. In each case the lines of gender are being bent, blurred or transitioned. But not all will claim the term. That is a personal choice.
Crossdresser: In kink also known as sissy's though not always (note the use of the term sissy is considered a slur to transexuals. But is an acceptable use for crossdressers who feel comfortable with its use.) This would be someone who dresses and behaves in a similar manor to the opposite gender. Usually this is a male dressing as a female, there are many reasons for this and it can even sometimes be a first step for a transsexual person - however not always.
Transsexual: This is a person who transitions from living as one gender to the other - often due to an incongruence between how the mind experiences gender and the sex of the body. There are three aspects of transition and a person may choose to do some or all of them, that choice is deeply personal and different for each person. The first is social, this involves changing name and pronoun, changing the way one presents to align more with the gender they align with - in behavior and clothing as well as mannerisms and also changing vocal tone to more comfortably align. The second is hormonal, blocking the bodies natural production of hormones and replacing it with that of the comfortable gender. After just two years of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) a persons body more closely resembles that of the cisgender counterpart in many ways and if biological puberty was never reached a person will be perfectly inline with cisgender counterparts. The third part is surgical, this would be the surgical intervention to change genitalia from one type to the other, though can include facial and other bodily procedures to further align gender and sex. As stated not all will opt for all three options, neither is it required - some will opt for the label transgender over transexual (as I do) others may not. All of these choices are deeply personal choices made by the individual as to what is best for them.
Cisgender: This would be a person who is comfortable with the alignment of their gender and sex from birth. (There is some debate over the terminology, mostly steaming from its recent inclusion. With some suggesting normal person (the problem being it implies trans people are not normal) or biological person (the problem being biology is complicated and which aspect of biology should it link to? Biology is complex and doesn't always align so could exclude people it shouldn't.) In any case cis is the accepted terminology of all the major medical associations currently - and is only used when talking medical stuff or discerning the differences between a trans person and a cis person.
Nonbinary: This is another umbrella term for those that do not align with mescaline or feminine - usually opting for they/them pronouns - however not exclusively. They/them is usually an accepted and safe option with the person able to tell you if they prefer another term.
Genderfluid: This is a person that douse not have a fixed gender - often shifting from mescaline to feminine over time or even nonbinary. This comes under the nonbinary umbrella.
These are some basics of the definitions and the way some people may or may not connect with them can be varied. This is because at its core a term is just a way to quickly express a large amount of information. Not all of the information may be relevant for each person but they can elaborate on which parts matter to them and which parts don't if they want to. In the same way someone could enjoy using diapers and wearing baby styled clothing but not identify as a little - or someone cold enjoy doing very service orientated things at times but still identify as a brat. Labels are like that, they express an idea we can collectively understand but are not the entire picture. It is through getting to know the person and how the label relates to them that we can view the entire picture.
Final Notes.
As a final note I just want to reiterate that yes, this can be complex and messy. But that is ok, not everything needs to be clean and simple. And if you are really unsure what terminology suits a person, asking is always the best option. That way you can get the best answer. Learning about this stuff can be great, but even knowing it, you never truly know how someone connects with it until you ask.
Finally, while I am fairly attuned to this subject matter I am by no means an expert. If you notice something that was missed, miss explained or could use some elaboration please do let me know. I will revisit it. Possibly go deeper into the subject. For now I was aiming for a understandable surface level of the nuances of gender and sex as well as some of the terminology that is used.
*All medical information approved by Rainy13. Wow. Guess my shout really did work
* 
Ok, lets talk sex and gender. I know, I know, you want the simple answer. We would all prefer the simple answer. But the truth is there is no simple answer here. If you have ever heard the what is a chair? example, this is why. (If you haven't not a problem, I will go over the basics
) Chairs have had so many variations to the way they are shaped and designed along with intended purposes since they were first created. Now there is so much variation that there is no single definition that could be applied that encompasses everything that is a chair and excludes everything that is not a chair, it just can not be done. But that is ok, because despite how complicated chairs are to define. We all still know what a chair is. Sure there are edge cases which some might debate if it is or is not a chair. But for the most part, we know. If we can manage to still understand chairs despite their complexity, we can understand gender and sex as it gets complicated. You might ask then why do we not already understand then? (Or you might not hehe. No judgment here.) Well the simple truth is that for the most part we grow up around the variance of chairs and just learn that they are so different. But most people can live their entire lives without ever meeting someone who douse not fit neatly in the gender binary. Added to this is that, unless you study more advanced levels of biology for the most part, most people are not taught anything beyond the gender binary. This leads to people going their entire lives into 20's, 30's or even further before they are first faced with someone outside that binary that then contradicts what they have always known to be right. That can be a hard thing to face. It is as though your whole world flipped upside-down and there is this new complicated unknown thing to grapple with. Now that we have gone over that this is complex, lets bite a bit deeper into this cake. Why are gender and sex separate?Sex
Right.... So now we are getting deeper into the medical side, I will try not to dive too deeply into this, but... before I post. *RAINY13 CAN YOU CHECK MY MEDICAL STUFFS
* That said, there are a couple of biological aspects that align a person to one side of the binary or the other. But the problem is while in most cases they will align, it is not every case that they will. This is where we have to accept that there are intersex people, and that intersex people couldn't possibly fit in a binary model, because they are a third option somewhere between the two more common options. Sure we could try to force them into the binary, but that undermines their lived experience. Instead what we actually have is a bimodal system, where most will fall one side or the other. But not everyone. This is list of aspects of biological sex,- Genotype (The physical genetics/ chromosomes you have - XX or XY, or XO, or XXY for sex specifically)
- Gametes (The reproductive sex cells you produce - Sperm (spermatozoa) or eggs (ovum))
- Phenotype (The traits you physically express based on your genotype - however any issue with gene expression (which can be varied) may result in a phenotype that douse not match the genotype)
- Hormones (We know these - they ruined our adolescence - many conditions outside of intersex can result in variations of sex hormone levels in anyone e.g. Polycystic ovaries - common hormonal imbalance with excess testosterone - not related to intersex or gender identity)
- Reproductive Organs (The fun things we like to play with - but also a specific phenotype of your sex chromosomes - not always in line with the chromosomes inherited depending on various factors (hormone production, sensitivity to hormones produced, variations of the standard' XX, XY (e.g. XO, XXY, etc)))
Gender
This is where we move from the world of biology, to social sciences. Why? Well because gender is a social construct created by people to decide what behaviors and appearances are acceptable for what sex. Different cultures and influences have had different ideas of what behaviors and appearances are acceptable, and diving into history there are even more variances of these ideas. For example in the 1800s of the western world men would be expected to be emotional and wear make up and high heels. Something that is less acceptable today. Gender is a social construct we are taught from a young age and most accept the construct never questioning it. However it also decides what jobs and hobbies are acceptable, and just one that I will point out is that for a long time it was believed gaming was for boys and that girls were bad at it. But was this a result of gender differences, or rather a result of Nintendo deciding to advertise their latest console in the boys isle of toy stores. A result of gender difference or a result of boys having 12+ years of practice where they were not socially judged for doing so. In truth there is no gender or sex difference that makes boys better at video games than girls, yet that one choice of Nintendo's sealed in the social conciseness that gaming was for boys. And just like that, girls were excluded from it. Something girls and women are still trying to undo the damage of to this day.
So in a quick summery. Sex is the biology that makes up a human body and is not restricted to two options, there is a wide variance of how it can turn out. Gender is the social expectations of that sex (How to dress, what career is acceptable, how to speak etc.)
Everyone's favorite, acceptable terminology... yayyyy!
I know that terminology can be complicated and a lot to remember, especially when it is advancing and changing over the years. But it can make a huge difference for the people involved when it is gotten right. And if you are you are ever unsure asking the person what the correct terminology is, is never rude, rather you will be respected more by the person. We don't expect everyone to immediately know, but by asking you are showing that while you don't currently know you do want to try to get it right. That can mean a lot. So what happens if you try and get it wrong? Well, nothing. The person involved is likely to say that it was not the right term and supply the more accurate one. But beyond that nothing. We can generally tell when it is accidental and we expect it to happen. It is barely a blip in our day. It only becomes hurtful if it becomes a conscious decision to deliberately use incorrect terminology or slurs repeatedly after it is explained why that is hurtful. So if you are worried about getting it wrong, not to worry, we all make mistakes. That is a part of learning. You tried and that was good.
Intersex: Lets start with a term that has already come up. Intersex is the terminology for a wide range of sex characteristics aligning in different ways. Sometimes but not always leading to characteristics of both sex's. In some cases this is noticeable, in others it is not. Some intersex people are capable of reproduction while others are not. There is a wide variance of intersex experience. (Once known as hermaphrodites, however this is a long outdated term and considered disrespectful to use.)
Transgender: This is what is known as an umbrella term or blanket term, the reason for this is it covers a wide range of sub categories, some from those categories may claim the term transgender while others might choose not to. The basis of this term though is to cover anyone who transgresses the gender lines. So that would include such things as drag kings/queens, crossdressers and transexuals. In each case the lines of gender are being bent, blurred or transitioned. But not all will claim the term. That is a personal choice.
Crossdresser: In kink also known as sissy's though not always (note the use of the term sissy is considered a slur to transexuals. But is an acceptable use for crossdressers who feel comfortable with its use.) This would be someone who dresses and behaves in a similar manor to the opposite gender. Usually this is a male dressing as a female, there are many reasons for this and it can even sometimes be a first step for a transsexual person - however not always.
Transsexual: This is a person who transitions from living as one gender to the other - often due to an incongruence between how the mind experiences gender and the sex of the body. There are three aspects of transition and a person may choose to do some or all of them, that choice is deeply personal and different for each person. The first is social, this involves changing name and pronoun, changing the way one presents to align more with the gender they align with - in behavior and clothing as well as mannerisms and also changing vocal tone to more comfortably align. The second is hormonal, blocking the bodies natural production of hormones and replacing it with that of the comfortable gender. After just two years of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) a persons body more closely resembles that of the cisgender counterpart in many ways and if biological puberty was never reached a person will be perfectly inline with cisgender counterparts. The third part is surgical, this would be the surgical intervention to change genitalia from one type to the other, though can include facial and other bodily procedures to further align gender and sex. As stated not all will opt for all three options, neither is it required - some will opt for the label transgender over transexual (as I do) others may not. All of these choices are deeply personal choices made by the individual as to what is best for them.
Cisgender: This would be a person who is comfortable with the alignment of their gender and sex from birth. (There is some debate over the terminology, mostly steaming from its recent inclusion. With some suggesting normal person (the problem being it implies trans people are not normal) or biological person (the problem being biology is complicated and which aspect of biology should it link to? Biology is complex and doesn't always align so could exclude people it shouldn't.) In any case cis is the accepted terminology of all the major medical associations currently - and is only used when talking medical stuff or discerning the differences between a trans person and a cis person.
Nonbinary: This is another umbrella term for those that do not align with mescaline or feminine - usually opting for they/them pronouns - however not exclusively. They/them is usually an accepted and safe option with the person able to tell you if they prefer another term.
Genderfluid: This is a person that douse not have a fixed gender - often shifting from mescaline to feminine over time or even nonbinary. This comes under the nonbinary umbrella.
These are some basics of the definitions and the way some people may or may not connect with them can be varied. This is because at its core a term is just a way to quickly express a large amount of information. Not all of the information may be relevant for each person but they can elaborate on which parts matter to them and which parts don't if they want to. In the same way someone could enjoy using diapers and wearing baby styled clothing but not identify as a little - or someone cold enjoy doing very service orientated things at times but still identify as a brat. Labels are like that, they express an idea we can collectively understand but are not the entire picture. It is through getting to know the person and how the label relates to them that we can view the entire picture.
Final Notes.
As a final note I just want to reiterate that yes, this can be complex and messy. But that is ok, not everything needs to be clean and simple. And if you are really unsure what terminology suits a person, asking is always the best option. That way you can get the best answer. Learning about this stuff can be great, but even knowing it, you never truly know how someone connects with it until you ask.
Finally, while I am fairly attuned to this subject matter I am by no means an expert. If you notice something that was missed, miss explained or could use some elaboration please do let me know. I will revisit it. Possibly go deeper into the subject. For now I was aiming for a understandable surface level of the nuances of gender and sex as well as some of the terminology that is used.
*All medical information approved by Rainy13. Wow. Guess my shout really did work
* 
)
