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Friendly debate: Should people be able to get married to animals

Should animals be able to get married?


  • Total voters
    2

Butterfly

The Bratty Glitteress
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Alright friends, let's have a friendly debate. Today's topic is:

Should people be able to get married to animals?

Take a side and argue your points!
 
That will be a cold, calculating yes from me.
I start my argument with a movie title. "Animals are beautiful people". So that also means animals are people. Your question then reduces to "Should people be able to get married to people?". Or simpler "Should marriage exist?" To answer that, let us bring in another well-established fact: Murphy's law. I know of people that have been married, so marriage is possible. Therefore it must happen and thus exist. I am of the opinion that anything that will eventually exist must be allowed to do so, trying to prevent it is just a futile attempt of delaying the inevitable. It's better to spend the time and resources in to preparing ourselves for the existence.

Joking aside, it depends on your definition of marriage. I mostly do not care about legal or societal implication, expectation, rituals, or formalities. Marriage to me is making the ultimate promise to a single person. In that both persons support each other unconditionally, way deeper than you would and could any other, in effect acting as one. A promise you cannot make to more than one person. I don't see how this should be limited to humans, or animate objects at all - as long as both are capable of making that promise we as a society should be honored to be witnessing this marriage, and not come from the other side of "we as the circle of initiates allow you to make this promise".
 
Married, as in legally binding... we already sort of can, it's just called ownership. My cat is chipped, the chip has my name, and my address, it says my cat is my cat, it's a sub-dermal wedding ring. I made a commitment with the shelter i got him from that i will care for him until death do us apart.

If i want to do a little ceremony, invite some friends and family, make a vow and eat cake, I am also able to do that as I desire.

So what we're left with is the legal implications of what a marriage is. To my understanding, it's mainly about property. Animals do not own property. It's a merging of assets, animals do not have assets. A merging of certain societal obligations, like taxes, benefits, debts, etc. animals have none of those either.

So when discussing the consequences of animal marriage, they are non-existent, to my understanding. The question then becomes not "should it be allowed?" but rather "what would be the point?" No legal interference is needed, except when it involves animal cruelty, which is a punishable offense regardless of your status relative to the animal. So a legally binding marriage between man and animal would be... a waste of time.
 
Some intreasting points on both sides of the argument. I would say that a marrige is a commitment between two individuals, so short of an animal being able to in some way communicate that commitment no, no they shouldn't.
 
I’ve already been married to one old cow, I’m not doing it again, never should have said I moo the first time. If I do ever marry again, I’m going to make sure I’ve got the G.O.A.T.
 
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