Edging

[Butterfly]

I just posted this blog about ruined orgasms and why they don't upset me.

However, I did want to post on behalf of @Jaro and ask if anybody had any advice on how they learned to edge, or how they got better at it. It has come pretty naturally to me and I am also a female so it has been hard to help him. I guess I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this and was able to make any improvements.

 

[Jolly*FtM]

From my experience, I don't know if it's really possible. For me, I've given up trying to learn because it's just not possible, sometimes you just have to accept the things you can't change. Every person is different and every body is different and not all people have the same abilities.

Even if he might not like to hear it, it might help. Because you can concentrate on other things.

 

[nylonfetish]

My first couple attempts when over, so I started stopping under an edge. After taking a short break to make sure it wasn't the edge already, I would go a little closer until I did go over. I eventually got used to the feeling of when to stop, but other factors, like being in a cage, can change it. Holding an edge was a similar process of learning when and how much to slow down to stay as close as I can without loosing it, and I am still working on it.

 

[baloo]

So I agree, practice makes perfect but when you feel you are going over the edge there are some things you can do to try and hold it back. These work for me:
Going cross-legged. For some reason that gives me better control over the edge.
Clenching my buttocks.
Clenching my .. well whatever it is I am clenching when stopping to pee lol.
Press on your perineum. You need to press with the right firmness, too little and you stimulate yourself, too hard and it just feels uncomfortable.

Also when stimulating a penis and wanting to edge, do not let go or move to a resting position, simply hold the position.

 

[zookeeper]

The first bit of advice is to remember it doesn't come naturally. And yes that's a pun. Just like learning to write with your off hand it's awkward at first and goes against your instinct but it can be done, and it's usually easier than you think it is. It just takes reps and consistency. Oversight and accountability helps too

The second bit of advice I give is for those who are having a really hard time with it, to look in the sex aisle of their local store for sex safe numbing cream or spray. Making your clit or cock numb is a great way to give yourself some help in easing into it

 

[Manarus]

Ha, I just wanted to make a own thread about Edging, now I saw this one. What a coincidence^^ Maybe I make still an additional thread, because my wondering is of a different nature:

Personally, I don't think that the word "edge" describes the fact well. The more I play with people, I think what they mean by an "edge" is what I describe as "stimulate yourself until you are shortly before an orgasm". I used this term already when I was an adolescent and not even fully aware about BDSM, and certainly didn't I know the term "edge". Now you may ask, but this is exactly the same??
Well, the problem is, when I read "stimulate yourself until you are shortly before an orgasm" (or in German: "bis kurz vor den Orgasmus stimulieren"), then my intention is to masturbate, until I am about to cum. But I still stay a very safe distance away from the orgasm itself. I just stimulate me as far as possible, but without the risk of actually cumming. This makes me horny and acts as a good tease when I am denied (or don't want to cum yet, to prepare myself for a bigger challenge).

However, once I tried to follow the command "edge", I couldn't do this any more! Because now, my mind has this picture of a sharp edge, of a high cliff in the mountains, where it goes steep downwards. And now my goal and challenge is, to get as closely at the edge as possible. Off course, if you do this multiple times, you will fall down the mountain. That is normal. That is why I never go to the very edge in the mountains, but also there I keep a safe distance (while still going as far towards the edge as I deem it to be safe).

This awareness has been reinforced when I read a dare, requesting a firm edge. So if there are "firm edges", then there must be some more "relaxed" edges, too. Something similar as what I did when I was an adolescent. And this should be considered a "normal" edge in my opinion. Because firm edges always hold the risk of going over, or falling down, naturally.

And now last but not least my actual question: Does anybody have a better word for "edge"? Or preferably, does somebody know a German word for edge, that fits my definition of an edge more closely?...