First off, I like to clarify how I define edge play.
I agree with it being about pushing boundaries, playing close to limits, but that does not mean any type of play automatically is edge play.
What I consider edge play for me is something others would simply not consider anything anyone should do, while yet others may laugh at how low my limits are.
For example, pain play: Give me a little tenderizing with my favorite flogger and that's just common play. Do it with more intensity, going beyond what I am used to taking and it becomes edge play.
Edge play in and of itself comes in three different flavors: Pushing soft limits (like the pain threshold), pushing hard limits (things you never tried before or found to never want to do again, essentially the never-say-never thing), and forcing limits (I make no distinction between soft and hard limits there)
Note I choose to talk about limits, not boundaries. I think the latter are what is ultimately possible with the body we have, while the former are the limits we define, they can be well below our boundaries but I think they are more important.
So by my definition, anyone who has ever tried something new did engage in edge play. I like that. It stresses how there is an added layer of risk and danger involved, dealing with it appropriately makes all the difference between BDSM and fooling around.
The questions to me then become - what are the most extreme forms of edge play you engage in? Which of them have you gotten so routined in that you don't consider them on the edge anymore? Have you ever gotten too far over the edge, and how did you recover - if at all? What are limits you want to play at? Have you ever advanced any limit to or beyond your boundaries?
For me, I regard my limits as restrictions - I do not like them to be there but my better judgement says they are there for a reason. I engage in edge play with partners I trust sufficiently to re-test those limits, approach them with caution and have what it takes to help me repair should things go south.
To me the most extreme forms of edge play - where I pushed my limits to or beyond boundaries - were almost all psychological. I have re-enacted specific trauma, I have done what some know as E&E training, I have engaged in mindfuckery that made me question my sanity and beyond.
There has been a particular scene which was pre-meditated, started by an agreed trigger that would happen more or less randomly and there were no safewords, the agreement was that anything psychological is on the table, the scene had to end eventually though no explicit time limit was set, and everyone involved had to remain physically unharmed beyond what would heal quickly.
This is something people have considered a thing beyond play - and I do not blame them. To us it was exploration, edge play. It was also traumatizing, but we grew from it, put ourselves back together better than we were before and if I repeated that session today (or rather, during the upcoming days) it would not have the same effect it did back then. After all, edge play to me is all about growth, and that happened in ample amount.
I'll be honest though, that scene was not planned with the amount of diligence and wisdom I have today. I would go as far as saying it was quite foolish, especially with how it affected my partners. I do things differently now but that type of play is still very much on my table.
Things I learned from that are a great segue into addressing the original questions.
What types of edge play have you engaged in?
See above for what I call the extreme ones. There have also been some physical extremes, think of heat/cold exposure and isometric strain. And hello, nerve damage!
What types of edge play do you want to engage in?
If I ever publish a list of limits, playing with them. One thing in particular: Sharps. I don't see that happening anytime soon though.
3. What types of edge play do you like to fantasize about, but are not likely to engage in for real?
4. How do you define the line between fantasy and reality when it comes to edge play?
I fantasize about a lot of things - physically impossible ones, impractical or difficult ones. Anything goes. I also like to fantasize with others, there I am more restrictive and do negotiate what the limits are within we play, and what the ones are we play with. This is a highly dynamic thing and it depends a lot on my partner - as always!
I do not distinguish between "fantasy" and "reality", just any universe has equal rights to be called real so I distinguish between my personal universes - in which I am the only one of consequence and thus consent works differently, although it is actually a lot more complicated than that; shared universes - where all the participants have equal parts in, but we make up the rules of the universe and consent is pretty much the only restriction; physical universe(s) - although I only know of a single one, this is unique in that it is the only one that has consequences beyond the psychological and thus needs special care, which is perhaps the most important distinction.
Now defining the lines is one thing, respecting and understanding them is a totally different ball game entirely and not to be underestimated. I can define some shared universes to pass over more or less into others, like a shared fantasy in which we play a certain way we would never do in any other universe; Or one in which we play more to test out how our dynamic works, with the intention of simulating / preparing for encounters or influences on the physical universe.
5. Do you have a different process when it comes to negotiation or communication for an edge play scene?
Not different per se, just longer. I divided my vetting and negotiation process into different stages, the final one is all about my most edgey edges, like sharps. Other play "unlocks" sooner. Some of these I have written down as a means to hold myself back and keep safe, others are more on a mood basis, depending on how my partner(s) and I get along.
Do you ever feel judged for your interest in certain type of edge play kinks?
Feel? no. Am? Yes. I have quite the sophisticated understanding of how this works for me, which allows me to go far, farther than some people think to be sane. I do not blame them, open-mindedness is a process, not an absolute after all.
