About 12 years ago, I was sexually assaulted. The man who assaulted me, liked to use the pet name "baby" while ordered coffee at the cafe. He called me "baby" when I excused myself from the table after getting bad vibes and decided to go to my car and get out of there. And he called me "baby" while he was trying to shove me into his car, and put his cock in my mouth.
It is probably safe to say that I have been opposed to being called "baby" for the last decade. It has been firmly listed in my limits along with other names like "slut" or "whore" (and also being called "a tease", since my abuser decided that me being a tease was his reason for taking what he wanted from me).
So when I met E, and he started to throw out some cute pet names, nobody was more shocked than I was when he called me "baby" and the only thing I felt was warmth and butterflies.
I have done a lot of work on myself and I know that a lot of my triggers and traumas have started to heal. I never even considered that this was something that was being healed with time.
Of course a big factor is that the person who called me "baby" was somebody who was felt safe. That we had a rapport. That I knew
it was coming from a place of love and warmth.I didn't even think to mention this to E when it happened the first time. I was surprised at the time, but I just kind of went with it. I liked it and I didn't want him to decide not to do it again. However, when he later found out (while reading my limits list) that it was something I have been opposed to in the past (and for good reason), he was shocked and a bit upset that I didn't tell him before. He was worried that it might ruin the mood if he did it again, or that maybe it would accidently trigger me one of these times. By that time he had already called me "baby" about 20 times and each time was better than the last. So many warm and fuzzy feelings! We spent some time talking it out and I convinced him to not stop.
I am not cured. I am sure if that was used in different context it could feel different. But for right now, it feels good and I want to feel good!
So please, call me "baby"!
