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Bunzie Rants about External Messaging Apps

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I have a rant I need to get out about messaging apps!

First of all - Hi is a terrible way to start a conversation with someone you do not know.

I don't know what it is like for guys, but I get loads of messages saying hi or saw your profile. Okay - What do you want? If I replied to everyone saying hi, I'd be here for years going round in circles and getting nowhere.

I don't know your intentions. I don't know who you are. I don't know your name. I don't know anything about you other than you saw my profile...okay so what about it did you like? What caught your eye? What made you want to message? Give me something!

In fact, most of the time, people will message me for the first time with: hi. can you dom me? strip now. hi slut. saw your profile. can you do this task that completely goes against your limits because I didn't bother to read them? can you stop everything you are doing right now and do what I want?

Think: If the first thing you send me is something in my limits, am I going to respond?

The amount of times I have responded to hi only to be asked oh can you dom me? can you be my sub? No! My profile is very clear I am not looking and have no interest! If you'd taken one look at my profile, you would have known that from the start. It is an immediate red flag and I will ignore you!

Please. If you are messaging, especially externally:
  1. Know who you are talking to - check their likes/limits, profile, wants BEFORE you message
  2. Know what you want to say! Why are you messaging? Does it align with what they want or have asked for?
  3. If you're looking for a casual conversation, that is fine! But message on kw first and ask to move over - not everyone wants to talk about their life and that needs to be respected.
  4. Do not expect an immediate response - people are busy! You can't message someone and expect them to be there right away to do whatever you want.
  5. Be respectful - or you will just get ignored.
 
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You're so right about everything you wrote. It's good and right that this is being said. I think men could definitely make a bit more of an effort.

I'm not excluding myself from this at all. It probably happens to me too. So, just a little more respect, consideration, and empathy.
 
ChrisPlayTime said:
You're so right about everything you wrote. It's good and right that this is being said. I think men could definitely make a bit more of an effort.

I'm not excluding myself from this at all. It probably happens to me too. So, just a little more respect, consideration, and empathy.
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I am sure men get messages like this too. We all could do better and we should! If you want a response, you got to put in the effort.
 
ChrisPlayTime said:
Men don't get so much messages. We are happy for everything we get🤣.
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So little, most men would talk to a tree, if it were to make the first move 😂

In general, I can only agree with the post. There is a lot of bullshit going on, and that's definitely not exclusive to a single person. The amount of times I heard stories like that (or see it on the forum), is ridiculous. Just make an effort and at least read the person's likes and limits. It can also help to look at a few previous posts to see how they tick and what actually interests them. Put in the effort, then you also don't need to complain that you don't get any answers.
Especially for females on sites like this. They are usually in the minority and get so many messages each day. You gotta stick out, a simple Hi isn't gonna cut it 😅
 
As a male Dom I find I get more intelligent and real messages on BDSM discord than on whatsapp, kik or signal groups. The main problem with Discord BDSM servers is even the sites where findom is banned you still get a lot of the rather boring instadommes begging for newbies cash.
 
Back when I used dating apps like Bumble I found the same issue :D some people are very shy...but I agree, getting messages without a proper well constructed intent is tiresome.
Not that I would expect to get many unsolicited messages from this site, this is why I don't have my socials public, it allows you to sort the noise on here before deciding whether to add someone...but alas, good luck...sadly this is a problem as age old as time and I get it from work pings too...the horror never ends!
 
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