• 🌟 Our site is growing and thriving and I am so thankful to each of you for being here! 🫶
    🎉 Because of this, we’ve opened up a new role here on Kinky Wonderland!
    ✨ If you’d like to learn more and apply to become a Wonderland Curator, check out the thread here!
    🏳️‍🌈 New! You can now add a Pride Flag to your profile to show off your identity or support. Visit our post to learn more!
    💌 Stay safe, 💋 be kinky, and 🗣️ invite your friends!
    xx Butterfly 🦋

Ask Guv anything

If sex had a theme song every time you started, what would yours be? This was tough, I am useless at finding a song for a situation... especially as I haven't had sex, so have no idea what I am like at it... So, Don't stop believin' by Journey, as I honestly think I wont ever have sex
Would you rather have sex in a zero-gravity room or underwater (with breathing gear)? Zero gravity could be fun
What’s the most random thing that’s killed the mood for you?" Probably passing gas, or traffic outside
If you could have sex in any fictional universe, where would you pick? Sorry, but I don't actually have an answer for this as I am not a follower of tv or film to know of any
What’s your guilty pleasure that shouldn’t be sexy but kinda is? Probably pee, its a bit gross but it always turns me on for some reason
Would you rather only be able to sext using medieval English or pirate slang? Medieval English, I would love to call someone my wench
If a genie offered to make you the best at one very specific sex skill, which would you choose? Making a woman orgasm during intercourse. At least people would want to sleep with me then...
What’s the weirdest safe word you’ve ever heard (or would love to use)? Sadly this isn't something I can answer as I haven't been involved in many scenes, and nothing memorable as online role play
If you had to incorporate a kitchen appliance into foreplay, which would it be? A kettle. I would make them think I am going to pour hot water on them, and then its actually filled with ice water. Nice (depends on your perspective I guess) little mind fuck
What’s the most hilarious noise you’ve ever heard during sex? Cant answer as I have not had sex
Would you rather have sex while skydiving or while riding a roller coaster? Both sound horrific as I don't fly and hate roller coasters, but at least a roller coaster shouldn't kill me, unlike forgetting to open a parachute, so the roller coaster
If you could invent a new position and name it after yourself, what would it be called? The Guv, we sit in separate buildings and feel lonely and unwanted... I don't know anything about sex to actually invent a position
Please see answers above in bold :)
 
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said while in a serious kink scene?
If you could make one ridiculous kink law, what would it be? (Example: "Aftercare must legally involve cookies.")
If you could replace a standard kink item (like rope, cuffs, etc.) with something absurd (like pool noodles), what would you swap?
Which would you rather have: vibrating socks or edible harnesses?
You have to explain your favorite kink to a 5-year-old... using only food metaphors. How do you do it?
Which villain would you let top you?
Would you rather: drop your toy bag in front of your boss OR explain your browser history to your mom?
What's your "if I die, delete this" kink-related emergency?
 
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said while in a serious kink scene? Sadly I haven't been involved in a serious scene, so I have not had the opportunity
If you could make one ridiculous kink law, what would it be? (Example: "Aftercare must legally involve cookies.") Fart noises must be played after a scene so everyone can laugh to relieve the tension
If you could replace a standard kink item (like rope, cuffs, etc.) with something absurd (like pool noodles), what would you swap? No, it would undermine the mood
Which would you rather have: vibrating socks or edible harnesses? Vibrating socks, if only for the massaging they can do to my sore feet
You have to explain your favorite kink to a 5-year-old... using only food metaphors. How do you do it? I honestly couldnt, I have no idea how to explain things to children
Which villain would you let top you? There isnt anyone, I am the Top
Would you rather: drop your toy bag in front of your boss OR explain your browser history to your mom? Drop my toy bag in front of my boss, its pretty empty after I sold most of it and what I do have is not that wild in the modern world
What's your "if I die, delete this" kink-related emergency? Probably all of my accounts, its something I would like to die with me
Please see my answers in bold :)
 
1. What's the best gift you've ever given? Who did you give it to?
2. What changed the way you see the world?
3. If you died today, what would be your biggest regret?
4. What is a completely rational, justified fear that you have?
5. What is something you love that most people hate?
6. What is something you hate that most people love?
7. What do you wish was possible?
8. Who was the last person you called, and what did you talk about?
9. What will never cease to make you smile?
10. What will always be funny to you?
 
1. What's the best gift you've ever given? Who did you give it to?
2. What changed the way you see the world?
3. If you died today, what would be your biggest regret?
4. What is a completely rational, justified fear that you have?
5. What is something you love that most people hate?
6. What is something you hate that most people love?
7. What do you wish was possible?
8. Who was the last person you called, and what did you talk about?
9. What will never cease to make you smile?
10. What will always be funny to you?
1. I dont actually know, it doesnt help that I dont remember most of the gifts that I have given
2. Probably losing 2 relatives in 3 months. Thats a pretty rough patch to work through
3. Probably never having sex
4. Spiders/snakes, some of those guys can easily kill you
5. Building and fixing things
6. The band Queen
7. Time travel
8. A recruiter, to talk about a job the approached me about
9. The sound of an engine working
10. Farting memes
 
1. What is something you know is going to happen, but hasn't yet?
2. Have you ever gotten a "hunch" about something that turned out to be true?
3. What is the most dangerous thing you've ever done, and why did you do it?
4. What do you think is worth dying for, if anything?
5. Is there anything you have vowed never to do?
6. Under what circumstances do you think you could kill someone, if any?
7. What's your favorite memory with your best friend?
8. What is a profession you admire but could never be a part of?
9. What is something you enjoyed doing but would never do again?
10. What object best defines who you are?
 
1. What is something you know is going to happen, but hasn't yet?
2. Have you ever gotten a "hunch" about something that turned out to be true?
3. What is the most dangerous thing you've ever done, and why did you do it?
4. What do you think is worth dying for, if anything?
5. Is there anything you have vowed never to do?
6. Under what circumstances do you think you could kill someone, if any?
7. What's your favorite memory with your best friend?
8. What is a profession you admire but could never be a part of?
9. What is something you enjoyed doing but would never do again?
10. What object best defines who you are?
1. Solving one of my illnesses that is causing me many problems, it has to be caused by something after all...
2. Frequently, though, it may be due to my experience in the sector
3. Either plugged myself into the electrical main through a kettle as I was an idiot and didnt think, or cut into my finger with a saw as I decided to cut the wood instead of planing it flat, even though I knew it was dangerous
4. I dont think I do believe that anything is worth dying for
5. Yes, have children or get married
6. If my life, or someone elses, was in grave peril and it was in self defence. However, I cannot be certain that I would do it
7. I cannot pinpoint one, mostly as we have done a lot of stupid things, and my memory isnt the best
8. The military, its a tough and worthwhile job but I could never do that myself
9. I cannot think of anything I enjoyed doing that I wouldnt do again, I tend to redo things I enjoy!
10. A train, I love them and they are basically the cornerstone of my life

Written whilst wearing a black mesh thong with little hearts on, in case you are interested... ;)
 
Have you missed me and my randomly hard questions? Good! Here's another set ...

1. What is the most obscure fact you know?
2. Is there something you want to tell someone, but haven’t? Why haven’t you done it, and how do you think they would react if you told them?
3. What’s a rant you’ve been holding in?
4. What subject could you teach a college course on? What would be the title of the course, and what units would you cover?
5. Have you ever had a recurring dream or nightmare? What was it?
6. What gives you hope for the future?
7. What is something you fantasize about often?
8. What do you find yourself thinking about just before you fall asleep?
9. What was your favourite family tradition growing up? Have you created a tradition of your own?
10. What is something you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy? Why are you embarrassed about it?

and a bonus ... what is the best color of glitter?
 
Have you missed me and my randomly hard questions? Good! Here's another set ...

1. What is the most obscure fact you know?
2. Is there something you want to tell someone, but haven’t? Why haven’t you done it, and how do you think they would react if you told them?
3. What’s a rant you’ve been holding in?
4. What subject could you teach a college course on? What would be the title of the course, and what units would you cover?
5. Have you ever had a recurring dream or nightmare? What was it?
6. What gives you hope for the future?
7. What is something you fantasize about often?
8. What do you find yourself thinking about just before you fall asleep?
9. What was your favourite family tradition growing up? Have you created a tradition of your own?
10. What is something you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy? Why are you embarrassed about it?

and a bonus ... what is the best color of glitter?
Sorry this took a while!

1. Sorry, I cant think of one!
2. Yes, there is. I havent told them as I dont believe they would be interested, and it would make things awkward. I think that they would react well, and be kind, but it would be awkward
3. People on electric bikes. The things should be banned as they are used dangerously by morons. I had one right up my cars arse this evening, then he shot past me with no space given so I slowed down. No safety gear either, and as he wasn't pedalling its legally a motorbike being used illegally. I hate the things and want them banned.
4. Probably railway operations, no idea on a title as I am not creative enough to think of anything, and the units would be basic principles, fundamental safety, and then each action they would need to master to perform in their job. It would be a mix of classroom and practical
5. Yes, I feel like I am falling and then wake up with my limbs jerking about. Once as a kid, I managed to fall out of bed onto the floor at the exact point that a man fell through a window in a movie that my parents were watching (what timing!)
6. Honestly, nothing really. Its all looking pretty bleak if you actually look at things, so I just exist and do things as I want to
7. Hugs, having them more often
8. Usually technical things that keep me awake, which doesnt help. Or, nothing at all which does help me sleep
9. We never had them, and still dont now. I have not created my own, and probably never will. I am not much of a family person
10. Probably people covered in gunge, no idea why, maybe as its seen as childish outside of the WAM scene?
 
You missed my bonus question!!!!!

If you could merge two animals to create the ultimate predator, what would they be and why?
If your conciousness was uploaded into a Roomba, what would be your new life goal?
You're suddenly able to taste lies. How does that affect your daily life?
Whats the most useless but entertaining superpower you could imagine?
What's the worse thing a smart fridge could say to you during a breakup?
If socks could feel pain, how would laundry day change?
Which vegetable do you think is plotting against humanity, and why is it celery?
 
You missed my bonus question!!!!!

If you could merge two animals to create the ultimate predator, what would they be and why?
If your conciousness was uploaded into a Roomba, what would be your new life goal?
You're suddenly able to taste lies. How does that affect your daily life?
Whats the most useless but entertaining superpower you could imagine?
What's the worse thing a smart fridge could say to you during a breakup?
If socks could feel pain, how would laundry day change?
Which vegetable do you think is plotting against humanity, and why is it celery?
Apologies, I am not at my best currently!

The best colour if glitter is no glitter, it gets everywhere! (now awaiting a telling off for that answer too!)

If you could merge two animals to create the ultimate predator, what would they be and why?
A cat and a gorilla, the cat is agile whilst the gorilla is strong and large. Should be able to handle itself

If your conciousness was uploaded into a Roomba, what would be your new life goal?
To crash into as many people as possible, bonus points if they spill a drink or drop something. It would be fun to be annoying

You're suddenly able to taste lies. How does that affect your daily life?
I can finally prove that what people tell me is absolute rubbish, instead of believe its all a load of guff

Whats the most useless but entertaining superpower you could imagine?
Making peopled underwear vanish then reappear on their heads. I would find it funny at least...

What's the worse thing a smart fridge could say to you during a breakup?
You will miss me, fatty

If socks could feel pain, how would laundry day change?
There would be a lot of drowning happening each time, they would also scream when you walk on them so they might actually not be alive by then anyway?

Which vegetable do you think is plotting against humanity, and why is it celery?
As celery tastes disgusting
 
What underwear are you wearing now?
Why are they not panties?
What kind of ass you do like?
Commando? Yay or nay?
 
What underwear are you wearing now?
Why are they not panties?
What kind of ass you do like?
Commando? Yay or nay?
Boxerbriefs
As I wasnt in the mood, but I might be tomorrow!
Round ones, something that I can squeeze and spank!
Nay, I dont like the feeling of it
 
1. If your thoughts were broadcast as a podcast, what would this week's episode be called?
2. If you had to be haunted by a ghost, but you could choose who, who would it be and why?
3. What conspiracy theory do you wish could be trust just for the drama?
4. What's a food you irrationally trust?
5. What's your go to fake name?
6. If jobs were assigned based on your internet search history, what would you be doing right now?
7. If you could ban one mundane thing forever(ie parallel parking, spoons, voicemail), what would it be?
8. If time froze for everybody except you for 24 hours, how would you spend it?
 
1. If your thoughts were broadcast as a podcast, what would this week's episode be called?
2. If you had to be haunted by a ghost, but you could choose who, who would it be and why?
3. What conspiracy theory do you wish could be trust just for the drama?
4. What's a food you irrationally trust?
5. What's your go to fake name?
6. If jobs were assigned based on your internet search history, what would you be doing right now?
7. If you could ban one mundane thing forever(ie parallel parking, spoons, voicemail), what would it be?
8. If time froze for everybody except you for 24 hours, how would you spend it?
1. The fight between an energetic brain, and a faulty body
2. I cant specify a name, but a woman who knows about sex and can guide me through it so my first time wont be a disaster (if it ever happens)
3. I had to read up on some of these, as conspiracy theories are not my thing. But it would be quite funny if Pencilgate was true
4. I have none, sorry
5. The one I use here, Guv
6. Probably something BDSM related, hopefully spanking someone!
7. Having to go to work, most of it is boring and seemingly pointless!
8. Doing lots of kinky things in public, and maybe pulling a few pranks on people too!
 
1. What music do you like?
2. What is your favorite art form?
3. What is your spirit animal?
4. Do you know someone personally who has a disability?
5. What is your favorite pasta shape?
 
1. What music do you like?
2. What is your favorite art form?
3. What is your spirit animal?
4. Do you know someone personally who has a disability?
5. What is your favorite pasta shape?
1. Generally 80's music, with some 00's for good measure
2. I am not into art, sorry
3. I dont have one, sorry
4. Yes, I do
5. I have no preference, but I am not a huge fan of pasta anyway
 
1. If you could design a "kink themed" amusement part ride, what would it entail?
2. What's the most unexpected item you've repurposed as a pleasure device?
3. If your favorite kink were a flavor, how would describe its taste?
4. If you could live out a scene from any movie, with a kinky twist, which would it be?
5. Have you ever had a 'kink fail' moment that turned into a comedy of errors?
6. Have you ever had a moment where your pet interrupted a scene in an amusing way?
7. What's the most unusual place you've ever had a scene or session?
 
1. If you could design a "kink themed" amusement part ride, what would it entail?
2. What's the most unexpected item you've repurposed as a pleasure device?
3. If your favorite kink were a flavor, how would describe its taste?
4. If you could live out a scene from any movie, with a kinky twist, which would it be?
5. Have you ever had a 'kink fail' moment that turned into a comedy of errors?
6. Have you ever had a moment where your pet interrupted a scene in an amusing way?
7. What's the most unusual place you've ever had a scene or session?
1. Probably a roller coaster where you have a dildo and/or plug in the seat, and they vibrate at times as it goes along
2. I havent
3. Warm and salty, pee
4. Sorry, I dont watch movies so have no idea
5. Thankfully not
6. No, I dont have any pets and dont do live scenes
7. Nowhere, they have either been online or once in a BDSM club
 
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