Are you "out"?

[Butterfly]

Whether you are kinky, poly, trans, gay, bi, etc. a lot of us feel like we need to hide this side of ourselves.

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?
How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?
If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?
Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?
Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?

 

[The Brat Princess]

I cover a few being trans, pan, asexual, kinky and poly

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?
With most people I share only what comes up, usually that I am trans as that is the most noticable. The rest is not so visable so see no need to share. Those that are closer so freinds and family I tend to share more. Some know all, others bits. All know at least some as I dont feel the need to hide any really, rather I prefer to only shaare if the conversation arises naturally. If they are already that close I trust that I will be respected by them.
How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?
I am fairly open about all sides with those close to me, I have talked about all aboe mentioned with at least my father and most of my friends. There are some friends that only know parts but they tend to be the exception not the rule. That said I rarely go into more details than to say I am... (Insert whichever) unless they seem genuinly intreasted in more.
If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?
Most not much of a reactionand (at least that I noticed) and the conversation moved on. Some became intreasted and asked more. A few were intreasted for other reasons, they folled it by opening up with similar which lead to shareing on both sides. But it has been different with each person.
Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?
Not really no. I feel I am at a point now where so many people irl know I am kinky, trans... etc... that they cant out me to anyone who matters as they already know. They could be abusive about it but then I know I dont wan to be around them anyway (they saved me time yippeee) or they can accept me. Whatever happens I am not in a position that a great deal of harm could be done.
Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?
Kinda already answered but really not something I worry about, if anyone dousent know it is less that I dont want them to know and more that I dont concider them important enough to know.

For me personally I am lucky in that my situation cant be made worse, I couldnt lose a job over it and family knows. So for me it is a lot easier to be open about it I am more comfortable that way anyway. I offten say and do wierd things randomly and find it difficault to work out when that is ok and not. So just eaiser if people around me are aware. I also got caught in kinky moments a bit to often for excuses to keep working lol. While it wont work for everyone, it douse suit me... though my father douse make me regret it sometimes with the terrible kink jokes

 

[snoek]

Whether you are kinky, poly, trans, gay, bi, etc. a lot of us feel like we need to hide this side of ourselves.

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?

I mostly wanna keep my kink side hidden for now. My gender struggles and weird feeling around sexuality are already a general fact about me within the group of people that know me and I have no problem talking about it

How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?

My kink side isn't known to its full range to anyone. Here and there chatted about it with some friends, and I'm sure my father and sister saw something's in my room... But not much more..

If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?

My friends also where kinky so they didn't give a damn. And didn't get any comments about my stuff in my room really.

Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?

I wish K could be more open about it, but just a bit hesitant with it as I don't know how my father would react. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, but still a slightly scary thing... Would rather wait till I live kn my own and then tell it.

Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?

People with Ill intentions? Other than that, absolutely not, not many I think

 

[Butterfly]

Whether you are kinky, poly, trans, gay, bi, etc. a lot of us feel like we need to hide this side of ourselves.

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?

I guess it would be the poly and kink parts. I am still unsure about my sexuality.

How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?

I am pretty "out". My close friends and family members know that I am poly and that I am kinky. @ObsidanDusk even went on a vacation with @Mr. Devious and I and my mom.

If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?

There are usually a lot of questions about the poly side of things. I am always happy to answer those questions and let people know that I am an open book.

Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?

I wish I could share with my work people. I work for a very open and inclusive organization. We do a lot of work for trans rights, and LGBTQ+ etc. but I am just unsure of what their feelings on poly relationships would be.

Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?

My husbands family. This is mostly because he is not open and I want to respect that.

 

[MessyAshy]

I have at one point written an autobiography up to my 21st birthday, that was sent out to a whole bunch of friends. I also wrote a 'hidden' chapter about my sexual awakening, my kinks, all the private stuff. The main biography simply said people could ask for the chapter if they wanted to know that side of me.

In the 'hidden' chapter the first paragraph warned about the contents, and gave people a safety net. If they read it, and decided they would rather forget they ever did, i would never mention it again. I would never bring it up until they indicated they were comfortable with it, I would pretend it never even existed. Three people asked for the hidden chapter, and two of them never mentioned it again, so neither did I.

So I don't hide my kinky side out of shame or fear. I hide it out of respect for those who'd rather not know. I gave an invitation, and most did not accept it, that is absolutely their right. And at the end of the day, I don't really need everyone to know my kinky side. I am ok with the fact that some people prefer to see me in a bubble where sexuality doesn't exist. I know where to find kinky friends if i need them.

I am comfortable with my kinky side, I am comfortable with people being uncomfortable with my kinky side, I am comfortable answering any questions they might have, and I am comfortable with being a non kinky and non sexual in their presence.

 

[Jaro]

Whether you are kinky, poly, trans, gay, bi, etc. a lot of us feel like we need to hide this side of ourselves.

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?

I want to hide all of my kink/sexual part. Out of shyness and what people might think, yes. But also because I feel its not needed for the general public to know this. This is bedroom stuff.

How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?

Not open at all.

If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?

I haven't.

Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?

The only think I maybe would wish to share is that I'm a nudist. It would make some things easier, like explaining why I want to go to certain places. I still know many people would frown on this very much, most of all my direct family so I will probably still keep it to myself.

Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?

Colleagues and family. The first would cost me my job. My family would not approve.

 

[Jolly*FtM]

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?
To be honest, I hide everything, both my transsexuality and my homosexuality and of course my sexual needs. Only very few people who didn't know me before know that I'm trans, there are about 2. A few more know that I'm gay, but not that many. Only one person knows that I'm into BDSM.
How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?
I can't tell anyone, it is very difficult for me.
If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?
Since I think really carefully about what I say, at least most of the time, the reactions are very appropriate anyway.
Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?
Yes, there is someone I would like to tell, but my fear is that he won't want to see me anymore.
Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?
It would be very dangerous for me at work if it came out that I'm trans and homosexual. Dangerous in the sense of a danger to life and limb.

 

[baloo]

This is something I have to reflect about, changed a lot for me in recent years.

What part of yourself do you feel like you need to hide?

I currently do not feel like I need to hide anything, but that still doesn't mean I "out" myself for everything. Not yet sure if this is depraving myself in some form, but I consider it a privilege for people to know these details about me, the least they need to do is ask (specifically).
Of course there are some thoughts and opinions I do not share without making sure whoever I share them with is able and willing to understand.

How open are you with people IRL about this side of you?

I have no IRL people being comfortable with all these sides of me, but if someone asks, and asks again (I get them to confirm they're serious about what they just asked) I tell them a lot, only stop if they get really uncomfortable. I consider that affirmation

If you have shared this side of you with others, what was their reaction?

Mostly this:
"TMI!" - "I did not want to hear that!" - "Why did I ask?!", and silently: Not asking me any more questions. I find it funny, but also sad.
Sometimes people are inquisitive about details, which I like even more! Like the other day we were nerding about rubber clothing kinks, only to realize we were talking about totally different forms of rubber! (latex and neoprene). By the time we were done we were alone in the room.

Is there somebody you wish you could share this with, but are hesitant to do so? What is holding you back?

No-one in particular. Always looking for new subjects to torment with details though

Who do you absolutely not want to find out about this side of you? Why?

I used to say "anyone, particularly family and friends", but nowadays I am confident to say that if someone finds out, it's because they asked or inferred based on their own experience. Both I am comfortable with.
What I absolutely hate is when details about my kink are gossiped about with uninitiated people. What I say I say to people, or in communities, with intention - carrying it out is a breach of trust. The reddest of flags for me.