Answer a question with an untruth

[Napoleon]

Big bra sizes were invented so that wearers can hide artifacts within their folds.

Is there a correlation between the size of the foot and the size of the penis?

 

[GetdareTEO]

YES! Their political views tend to be quite similar

What is the best toy to gift a niece on her 18th birthday?

 

[Napoleon]

Perhaps 18 opportunities to blow .................. up a balloon/s

Why is the praying mantis called a "praying mantis"

 

[prettyFace]

Perhaps 18 opportunities to blow .................. up a balloon/s

Why is the praying mantis called a "praying mantis"

Because it prays five times a day, facing Mecca.


Why are dogs a man's best friend?

 

[SweetNSpicy]

Because they pissed off cats.

What is the best way to live?

 

[misskubo]

Sleep in a coffin reading only the 50 Shades trilogy and sniffing lighter fluid.

Why is amaretto so damn nice?

 

[Napoleon]

Because it contains the word "Amare" (which means "Love" in Italian").

What do we call the female praying mantis?

 

[SweetNSpicy]

Little Miss Sunshine.

How much is a elephant divided by a crocodile?

 

[Rainy13]

probably about an ostrich with a remainder of a guinea pig

why do dom(me)'s have to be such meanies

 

[Napoleon]

Because they fear being slaves themselves although they know and feel that they are highly submissive beings.

Why are humans mammals and not fish or reptiles or something else?

 

[Maish]

Why are humans mammals and not fish or reptiles or something else?

Because we are too busy to sit down and keep the eggs warm all day.

Why can't I tickle myself?

 

[Napoleon]

Because you need fish fingers to tickle yourself.

Can we live on the moon?

 

[SweetNSpicy]

Yes and no. The atmosphere is compatible with humans, but they don't sell BBQ Ham chips over there.

What's the best way to get out of a identity crisis?

 

[Napoleon]

Create a new facebook profile

What is a manatee?

 

[SweetNSpicy]

A new drug. I hear it's real good.

Why don't my jumps reach into outer space?

 

[Napoleon]

Because space travels at the same pace and same direction as your jump

Why did E.T. need to phone home (in the film E.T.)

 

[SweetNSpicy]

Because he got into a fight with Elliot and wanted to ask his friends to bring the AstroBlaster. He ended up smashing his bike to bits.

Do you think any of the Star Wars movies are real?

 

[Napoleon]

Well, we have stars and we have wars. So yes, they are real.

Why is Pluto not a planet?

 

[Cutiegurltaylor]

Pluto is not a planet because dogs can not be considered a planet unless they are Clifford, at that point they gain a gravitational pull and become a planet.

Why should pregnant women not drink alcohol?

 

[Guv'nor]

Because pregnancy causes alcohol to be expelled from the body via flames from the eyeballs, and it hurts somewhat

Why do some people not wear underwear?