Addicted

[Anonymous (0df2)]

I’ve been in an online D/s relationship for about 4 months. We text daily, do video scenes, and they’ve given me tasks, rules, even a training schedule. It feels real — intense, intimate, even addictive. But part of me wonders… am I just getting off on a fantasy? We’ve never met in person, and I don’t even know if they want to. Am I being naïve thinking this is more than just long-distance kink? What if I’m more invested than they are?

 

[Anonymous (487c)]

Your feelings are completely valid, and it makes sense to question the reality of something that feels so intense, but remains physically distant.

Four months of daily connection, rules, tasks, and scenes can absolutely create real emotional and psychological bonds, especially in a D/s context where vulnerability and trust run deep.

You are not naïve at all for feeling attached, or wondering where it is going. But your concerns are important. If there is uncertainty about whether they want to meet or deepen the relationship, that is something you deserve clarity on.

The imbalance you are sensing is worth exploring, not ignoring. You can absolutely enjoy the intimacy and intensity and still need honest conversations about future intentions, compatibility, and whether your needs are truly being met.

This doesn’t have to be just a fantasy, but it should not only be a fantasy if you are craving something real.

One thing I have in my dynamics is a "pause" button where the dynamic is put on hold and we go into friends mode. It's a great place to talk as equals. Try it.

 

[Butterfly]

I definitely think that having a conversation outside of the dynamic is the way to go. If you are nervous to take the first step, I would ask the question to them about what their expectations are, what they hope for the future of the relationship etc. It is a super valid thing to ask and knowing can help you manage your expectations.