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Why a ruined orgasm doesn't upset me

Jaro has been very open with the fact that he is not very good at edging. He will be edging along nicely and all of a sudden ... a ruin! It is something that he has become a little better at controlling since we started practicing, but it is still pretty frequent.

It has never really bothered me, because I know it is something that he can't really prevent from happening. I know he isn't deliberately breaking a rule or finding a loop hole around the rule. It just happens.

But I know it upsets him.

My pet knows that one of my biggest turn ons as a Domme, is orgasm control. I want to control when he touches, when he edges, when he cums ... And I do! This is something that is very important to me. I love to keep my pet horny and desperate for me. But the reason it turns me on, is because I am in charge of his PLEASURE!

A ruined orgasm doesn't feel good for my pet. He gets no physical pleasure from it. And mentally he only gets more frustrated. So when I say I want to control his orgasms, a ruin doesn't count because he gets no PLEASURE!

But that doesn't stop him from feeling like he failed.

Awhile ago, Jaro made the goal of wanting to be able to do 14 days of edging with 14 edges a day before he would be allowed to cum. We tried starting with 7 edges a day for 7 days, and he ruined after the fourth day. After the third time of this happening, we tried 5 days with 5 edges, and again we didn't succeed.

I don't consider this a failure. But I am really starting to think that it might not be worth fussing over. Everybody is different. Not everybody can edge 100 times without ruining. But we don't hear about those stories.

We are bombarded by threads and porn videos of people being edged over and over, growing ever more desperate and horny, never quite getting close enough. Any ruins we see are forced, deliberate.

But there has to be other people out there. I, myself, have had problems edging. If I am masturbating alone, I always edge a million times while watching porn first. And very often, I will get a little too excited, and even though I removed the vibe, my muscles still contract, and give me a little baby orgasm. It is awful because I was building up to this big magical orgasm, and then it is just a let down!

I know others have to have experienced this!

Do you have problems edging? Do you ruin often? It would be a huge help if you could share your stories!
 
Thank you for this blog Miss! I know you aren't upset when this happens and I'm very thankful for that.

Yeah, I hate edging and I'm so bad at it. Which is sad because in theory I should love edges! I love being horny and extending that horniness to the max for as long as possible. Exactly what you wrote here turns me on so much just reading about it.
people being edged over and over, growing ever more desperate and horny, never quite getting close enough

But an edge that becomes a ruin means 3: bad things: 1: I failed the edge, 2: I failed an orgasm, 3: I am no longer horny.

I'm very interested in hearing others' experiences. Maybe there's still something to be learned here.
 
OK I will endeavour to give the best advice and guidance I can. I'm not a Sub, but yes I have edge in the past, when I do, if my memory is correct, I stop just as I'm getting to the top of the hill, aka I stop just before I'm looking over the edge of the hill. Then i clinch up. If need be the old technique of pushing a tongue to the top of your mouth hard and start breathing in and out slowly. This should help to get you back down the hill. But if you cum and ruin, don't feel bad, it's a learning experience. At the end of the day it's all a learning experience. You need to know your body, and when to stop wanking and your recovery time. So my advice would be wank away, and get to know your body's cuse when to stop and when to restart. If you cum it's OK. Just keep going and with time and practice you will get better.

I hope you work you're way up to the mind blowing orgasm.

Personally the only way I know I can get that satisfaction, is not from denial or edging, it's lots of baby oil and a girl then know how to work it with her hands, low and slow around 1 hour, then I will make noises I didn't think I could my legs will be jelly and I won't be able to get out of bed for at least 10-15 minutes

(it's super later I need to sleep, so sorry I didn't go into more detail)
 
This is personal experience of course but I love to edge. Sometimes I can get to the edge super fast and keep doing it back to back, a lot of times though I'll edge for a bit then take a break to cool down then get back to it a few mins later. If im edging a lot back to back I may accidentally go over the edge and no matter how much a clench or relax those muscles a ruined orgasm will come out, sometimes it'll dribble out and sometimes it'll shoot out. I end up ruining probably at least half my orgasms but I kinda like the feeling of the frustration as it come out (weird I know lol).

Also a lot of the time I use a vibrator and it feels amazing on my dick and actually makes it way easier to edge idk why, id think the vibrations would make it harder but they don't for me.
 
I feel the same way. It's really difficult for me to edge because I just can't feel when it's time. That's why accidents happen to me regularly.

It's not something I can physically control. Sometimes edging works and sometimes it doesn't.

When it happens, I feel like Jaro, I'm very frustrated and disappointed.

What stresses me even more is when I'm then punished by my play partner because I didn't do it on purpose.

Especially because then I'm no longer horny, so it makes no difference to me whether it was a ruined or full orgasm. After a ruined one, it can only be that I'm horny again sooner.
 
Jaro is like Sir's toy (me).

And yes admittedly those threads and whatnot make you feel like a failure, like something is wrong with you.

Some thoughts written during moments of similar struggles :

Denial sturggles.JPG

Denial Struggles.JPG
 
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