Most people have limits, and so they should. Even if they are only basic things like: death! Everybody has limits. Limits are different from person to person. For one person it could be a limit to cause permanent damage, whereas another person could be open to body modifications. Limits are your own personal boundaries and only YOU can decide what your limits are.
Why a limit is a limit?
One of the first things people do when they join a forum site is create a post with their likes and limits. When you are just starting out and don't have a lot of experience, a lot of things might end up in your limits. It could be because it is something that is scary, something that disgusts you, or something that you don't believe in. There are many different reasons why it might start in your limits.
Or you may put only the basics in your limits because you want to try a lot of new things and aren't sure what your limits are.
Some of my limits are because of psychological and emotional reactions. I was abused as a child and so things like spanking, corner time, and degradation were/are major limits! Others, like using gags are because they scare me. Or, pictures/videos are because of privacy reasons.
There are many different reasons why a limit may be a limit. Sometimes we don't know even know why a limit is a limit but that is ok! Limits do not need an explanation.
Limits can change!
Limits really are a personal thing. Just as our personality, food preferences, hobbies, etc. can change over time, so too can our limits. Limits are not written in stone. Many different things can influence us and may change our limits over time.
It is perfectly natural for things that once started as a limit, to slowly become something you are wanting to try or work on. Something you once found incredibly scary, or hard, might become easier when you meet the right play partner and build up trust.
Even if it is less common, it is also normal for something that once wasn't a limit to suddenly become a limit. Sometimes it happens because you didn't realize it was a limit. Sometimes it happens because you tried something and had such a bad experience you never want to do it again.
I was once playing with somebody and he asked me to use a wooden spoon. I didn't realize that it was a limit of mine until that very moment. I completely shut down and he had to stop the play session and calm me down before we were able to move on. That is ok!
Whatever the reason, if you seriously decide (I say seriously because as a brat, I will "decide" that things are limits often), even if in the middle of a play session, that something is a limit, that is ok! It should not be argued about or contradicted. However, if it does happen in a play session, it is always good to communicate with your partner. This is where a safeword comes in handy. But even still, just having a conversation about it will do wonders.
Limits should only change because of YOU. If a Dom is pressuring you into trying your limits or demanding that it no longer be a limit, or trying to punish you with your limits, or using your limits against you, RUN! Unless YOU decide to change or give up a limit (or all of them), then your limits will remain limits.
Different limits
It is also normal to have different limits for different people or situations.
I have a list of limits that are posted that apply to everybody except my long term play partners. There are certain things on my list that don't apply to my husband/Dom. I trust those people enough to take some of those limits off the table.
If I am playing with somebody else, some of my hard limits have the potential to become soft limits if sufficient trust and communication is built.
That is ok!
Conclusion
People change, limits change, but limits are limits. They should be respected at all times. Even if they change in the middle of a play session, or a week into a relationship, they are still limits. A good partner/Dom will respect your limits, and will respect you enough to communicate about your limits.
Why a limit is a limit?
One of the first things people do when they join a forum site is create a post with their likes and limits. When you are just starting out and don't have a lot of experience, a lot of things might end up in your limits. It could be because it is something that is scary, something that disgusts you, or something that you don't believe in. There are many different reasons why it might start in your limits.
Or you may put only the basics in your limits because you want to try a lot of new things and aren't sure what your limits are.
Some of my limits are because of psychological and emotional reactions. I was abused as a child and so things like spanking, corner time, and degradation were/are major limits! Others, like using gags are because they scare me. Or, pictures/videos are because of privacy reasons.
There are many different reasons why a limit may be a limit. Sometimes we don't know even know why a limit is a limit but that is ok! Limits do not need an explanation.
Limits can change!
Limits really are a personal thing. Just as our personality, food preferences, hobbies, etc. can change over time, so too can our limits. Limits are not written in stone. Many different things can influence us and may change our limits over time.
It is perfectly natural for things that once started as a limit, to slowly become something you are wanting to try or work on. Something you once found incredibly scary, or hard, might become easier when you meet the right play partner and build up trust.
Even if it is less common, it is also normal for something that once wasn't a limit to suddenly become a limit. Sometimes it happens because you didn't realize it was a limit. Sometimes it happens because you tried something and had such a bad experience you never want to do it again.
I was once playing with somebody and he asked me to use a wooden spoon. I didn't realize that it was a limit of mine until that very moment. I completely shut down and he had to stop the play session and calm me down before we were able to move on. That is ok!
Whatever the reason, if you seriously decide (I say seriously because as a brat, I will "decide" that things are limits often), even if in the middle of a play session, that something is a limit, that is ok! It should not be argued about or contradicted. However, if it does happen in a play session, it is always good to communicate with your partner. This is where a safeword comes in handy. But even still, just having a conversation about it will do wonders.
Limits should only change because of YOU. If a Dom is pressuring you into trying your limits or demanding that it no longer be a limit, or trying to punish you with your limits, or using your limits against you, RUN! Unless YOU decide to change or give up a limit (or all of them), then your limits will remain limits.
Different limits
It is also normal to have different limits for different people or situations.
I have a list of limits that are posted that apply to everybody except my long term play partners. There are certain things on my list that don't apply to my husband/Dom. I trust those people enough to take some of those limits off the table.
If I am playing with somebody else, some of my hard limits have the potential to become soft limits if sufficient trust and communication is built.
That is ok!
Conclusion
People change, limits change, but limits are limits. They should be respected at all times. Even if they change in the middle of a play session, or a week into a relationship, they are still limits. A good partner/Dom will respect your limits, and will respect you enough to communicate about your limits.