I just love ropes! Let me share my thoughts and perhaps YOU will feel the same way too!
Ropes are just the best, they come in all sorts of different flavors and are useful in so many different ways. I use them everywhere, but what you probably thought of reading the title is kink! So let us focus on that!
The name of the game is Shibari - or rope bondage!
What is that all about? Origins go way back to an engineering problem: With metals being in short supply, how do we secure our prisoners? The answer: Tie them up! There is also an (even) less fun thing to it, in that "having secured them, how can we make them the most uncomfortable?" - not so much fun when used as torture, but I am sure you can imagine how that can be played with. Some time later it was discovered that rope was actually beautiful! Even more so when applied with love and care to a person, and thus Shibari was born.
When we tie with rope today, it is usually to achieve one of four things: Restriction, constriction, artistry, and augmentation. I am sure the first three speak for themselves, so let me explain what I mean with augmentation: Know the saying "Lift with your legs, not your back?", tying rope can help you achieve just that. Tie together limbs so that muscles that usually don't know about one another can work together. Not very kinky so let us skip that one for now.
Why do tie then, if not for physics? The most obvious one is bondage. Perhaps many of you have dabbled in the concept of restricting your partner's motion (or your own). The very concept can have the most profound effects on a person. From feeling anxiety and enjoying that rush of fight or flight mode (not much flight going on there) to a sense of belonging, lifting the burden of having to deal with the world around you (because you cannot). A symbol of control exhibited by the rigger (the one who does the tying) and experienced by the bunny (the one who is being tied). All things bondage apply here as well.
Shibari does not just mean bondage though. It is about *tight* bondage. This adds a whole new dimension to play: Constriction! Sounds more drastic than it needs to be but this is what it is about: Imagine a hug, an intense one. Now imagine it being delivered by a material so versatile and abundant that you get to feel it all over your body! It is an intense sensation of pressure, coupled with material and texture make for a phenomenal sensory experience. This goes for riggers too! Running a length of rope through your hands, feeling the weight of it as you open up another coil, handling it, applying it.
Finally there is artistry! Laying rope need not be purely practical or sensory. Wouldn't it be great if the rigger gets to enjoy a beautiful work of art while their bunny is enjoying subspace? It sure would! Even on its own, without any sensual play, sometimes even fully clothed, there is a huge community around tying people up in aesthetically pleasing ways. Practicing technique, perfecting the craft, and exchanging about it is a huge thing, and rightfully so! With over six thousand (ish) documented knots, and mathematicians holding on to uh.. many more; Dozens if not hundreds of different materials and rope types to pick from; Countless colors and combinations available - Creativity is the only thing that cannot be tied by rope!
Piqued your interest maybe? Good! Buckle up then. So you want to get started on rope, but don't know what's what yet?
Let us start with materials. Certainly everyone has seen a rope before, something they think of when the word comes up. Maybe you come from climbing, and think of synthetic ones. Maybe you come from crafts and immediately think of the classic look of twisted yarn. This is the first thing to look out for: Synthetic versus natural fiber. Almost all the beginner workshops I have had the honor to partake in started out with natural fiber. Hemp or jute to be exact, but there are many other ones - cotton, sisal, silk, wool, coconut - pretty much any natural source of fibers longer than about 2.54 centimeters can be turned into rope. And so can synthetic fibers, with common materials being polyamide (nylon), polyester, polypropylene (sometimes sold as "synthetic hemp") - a lot of poly folks. You can also find some more specialized materials like para-aramid (kevlar), or ultra-high molecular weight polyethylene (dyneema, think high-strength fishing line), which brings me to properties. None of these materials are "better" than others, they come with their own quirks that make them more suitable sometimes, and less otherwise. Starting from health issues like allergies and asthma which can be exuberated by natural fibers, then there is rope rash to consider, which is notably more problematic with synthetic rope. Texture is a huge thing, which is something that has a lot of people prefer jute over hemp, or vice versa - a highly individual preference. Then there is elasticity and creep - when you pull on something it gets longer and thinner, keep that in mind for the safety part below. Longevity and maintenance are important to consider, especially with more intricate ties. Some rope need constant maintenance (jute, I am looking at you!) while others prefer not to be treated with oils or chemicals. Some are resistant to water, some degrade in it. Everything degrades in UV light (like, the sun!), but some drastically less than others.
This is not really a material thing, but when it comes to rope there is two basic techniques they are made - twisted or woven. Also the rope may be actually two ropes, one around the other. That is what is referred to as core-mantle rope - think paracord, and climbing rope. All of this matters for aesthetics and feel.
So you got your rope, ready to go? Not quite. Before doing anything we need to address safety! This is not to be underestimated ever, as the sensory neurons in my arm would tell you, if they were intact. This is not meant as an instructional thing and I accept zero responsibility for what newcomers do with what I have written.
Why the big fuss? Remember how we are talking about tight bondage? When you get tied up tight, so do your muscles, tendons, blood vessels, nerves, and bones. All of which take offense to being disturbed too much. Learn where they are and stay away from them as best as possible. Learn the language of their complaints and how to act on them. Grow slowly and ideally with an experienced partner! And very important: Get yourself a decent pair of scissors! I am talking rescue scissors and get comfortable with them. Bring them wherever you tie and know where they are at all times during play. Remember: Rope is less expensive than you and your partner! I did bite the bullet and picked up a somewhat pricy one and they saved me and partners on multiple occasions - money well spent.
Now then, got the rope, got confidence in your safety. What now? Knots! Knots are wonderful, and can be quite challenging to learn. They come with funny names - sometimes more than one for the same knot (knot theory is hard!) and they all have their uses (at least about six thousand of them do) in various fields in and out of shibari. There are exactly three ways to learn any of them: Practice, practice, and practice. You can find illustrations and insturction online, or pick up books - there are videos and apps for them, so grab your ropes and make something beautiful! Forget about tying someone up, knots in and of themselves are fun to lay! The process of finding new ones, learning how to tie them and getting them right, oh that rush! And note that I am using the word "knot" a lot here, but of course there are other things to do to rope. you would probably call them knots too but they aint! Or at least they go by different names - there is bends, which tie multiple ropes together (ropes need hugs too - specially when they're too short); Hitches connect rope to objects - useful for keeping subs in place; Slips and loops, although they are less common in shibari; Weaves or plaits; Splices; Stoppers; And of course coils! Those are super important when storing rope and handling it.
It is at this point that I wish to dedicate a little statement towards the single overhand knot: You suck, buddy - and you know it!
All that is left now is some inspiration. Tie a lovely harness, connect some limbs together, make it tight and cozy and neat. There are so many techniques to play with, so many forms to tie, and fun to be had freestyling.
For me, rope forms the most holistic experience of all kink. Way before I even lay the first knot it has a way of getting me in the zone, like the smell of natural fibre! Even thinking about it right now gives me the itch to tie something, or someone. When rope is laid on me I must fight the pull to sub space lest I drift off immediately. When handling it as a rigger I get to my happy top place. I take pride in laying rope carefully, with intent or playfully. I deeply sympathize the sensations and emotions felt by my bunny and enjoy giving it to them. There does not even need to be any other play involved, not even D/s - although it is so much more fun to me than dominating someone without rope. And do not get me started on the bunny side! Rope is like all the spices mixed into one, crystallized as the most delicious thing that makes every other dish shine even more, but stands on its own nonetheless. And we are not done there, un-tying can be an equally stimulating event. I do not consider it part of aftercare - untying is always a part of the scene, with a totally different slurry of emotions happening. It can be done quick, but why waste all the work that went into laying rope, savor it! Feel the pressure released, restrictions lifted, art destroyed (perhaps don't focus on that) in an ever so gentle and enjoyable manner. Or do a little switcheroo and begin a new tie, mix things up! And in the end you are left with a bunch of beautiful rope marks on you, your partner, or both! A truly wholesome experience that frequently leaves me in a state of bliss for some time.
Ropes are just the best, they come in all sorts of different flavors and are useful in so many different ways. I use them everywhere, but what you probably thought of reading the title is kink! So let us focus on that!
The name of the game is Shibari - or rope bondage!
What is that all about? Origins go way back to an engineering problem: With metals being in short supply, how do we secure our prisoners? The answer: Tie them up! There is also an (even) less fun thing to it, in that "having secured them, how can we make them the most uncomfortable?" - not so much fun when used as torture, but I am sure you can imagine how that can be played with. Some time later it was discovered that rope was actually beautiful! Even more so when applied with love and care to a person, and thus Shibari was born.
When we tie with rope today, it is usually to achieve one of four things: Restriction, constriction, artistry, and augmentation. I am sure the first three speak for themselves, so let me explain what I mean with augmentation: Know the saying "Lift with your legs, not your back?", tying rope can help you achieve just that. Tie together limbs so that muscles that usually don't know about one another can work together. Not very kinky so let us skip that one for now.
Why do tie then, if not for physics? The most obvious one is bondage. Perhaps many of you have dabbled in the concept of restricting your partner's motion (or your own). The very concept can have the most profound effects on a person. From feeling anxiety and enjoying that rush of fight or flight mode (not much flight going on there) to a sense of belonging, lifting the burden of having to deal with the world around you (because you cannot). A symbol of control exhibited by the rigger (the one who does the tying) and experienced by the bunny (the one who is being tied). All things bondage apply here as well.
Shibari does not just mean bondage though. It is about *tight* bondage. This adds a whole new dimension to play: Constriction! Sounds more drastic than it needs to be but this is what it is about: Imagine a hug, an intense one. Now imagine it being delivered by a material so versatile and abundant that you get to feel it all over your body! It is an intense sensation of pressure, coupled with material and texture make for a phenomenal sensory experience. This goes for riggers too! Running a length of rope through your hands, feeling the weight of it as you open up another coil, handling it, applying it.
Finally there is artistry! Laying rope need not be purely practical or sensory. Wouldn't it be great if the rigger gets to enjoy a beautiful work of art while their bunny is enjoying subspace? It sure would! Even on its own, without any sensual play, sometimes even fully clothed, there is a huge community around tying people up in aesthetically pleasing ways. Practicing technique, perfecting the craft, and exchanging about it is a huge thing, and rightfully so! With over six thousand (ish) documented knots, and mathematicians holding on to uh.. many more; Dozens if not hundreds of different materials and rope types to pick from; Countless colors and combinations available - Creativity is the only thing that cannot be tied by rope!
Piqued your interest maybe? Good! Buckle up then. So you want to get started on rope, but don't know what's what yet?
Let us start with materials. Certainly everyone has seen a rope before, something they think of when the word comes up. Maybe you come from climbing, and think of synthetic ones. Maybe you come from crafts and immediately think of the classic look of twisted yarn. This is the first thing to look out for: Synthetic versus natural fiber. Almost all the beginner workshops I have had the honor to partake in started out with natural fiber. Hemp or jute to be exact, but there are many other ones - cotton, sisal, silk, wool, coconut - pretty much any natural source of fibers longer than about 2.54 centimeters can be turned into rope. And so can synthetic fibers, with common materials being polyamide (nylon), polyester, polypropylene (sometimes sold as "synthetic hemp") - a lot of poly folks. You can also find some more specialized materials like para-aramid (kevlar), or ultra-high molecular weight polyethylene (dyneema, think high-strength fishing line), which brings me to properties. None of these materials are "better" than others, they come with their own quirks that make them more suitable sometimes, and less otherwise. Starting from health issues like allergies and asthma which can be exuberated by natural fibers, then there is rope rash to consider, which is notably more problematic with synthetic rope. Texture is a huge thing, which is something that has a lot of people prefer jute over hemp, or vice versa - a highly individual preference. Then there is elasticity and creep - when you pull on something it gets longer and thinner, keep that in mind for the safety part below. Longevity and maintenance are important to consider, especially with more intricate ties. Some rope need constant maintenance (jute, I am looking at you!) while others prefer not to be treated with oils or chemicals. Some are resistant to water, some degrade in it. Everything degrades in UV light (like, the sun!), but some drastically less than others.
This is not really a material thing, but when it comes to rope there is two basic techniques they are made - twisted or woven. Also the rope may be actually two ropes, one around the other. That is what is referred to as core-mantle rope - think paracord, and climbing rope. All of this matters for aesthetics and feel.
So you got your rope, ready to go? Not quite. Before doing anything we need to address safety! This is not to be underestimated ever, as the sensory neurons in my arm would tell you, if they were intact. This is not meant as an instructional thing and I accept zero responsibility for what newcomers do with what I have written.
Why the big fuss? Remember how we are talking about tight bondage? When you get tied up tight, so do your muscles, tendons, blood vessels, nerves, and bones. All of which take offense to being disturbed too much. Learn where they are and stay away from them as best as possible. Learn the language of their complaints and how to act on them. Grow slowly and ideally with an experienced partner! And very important: Get yourself a decent pair of scissors! I am talking rescue scissors and get comfortable with them. Bring them wherever you tie and know where they are at all times during play. Remember: Rope is less expensive than you and your partner! I did bite the bullet and picked up a somewhat pricy one and they saved me and partners on multiple occasions - money well spent.
Now then, got the rope, got confidence in your safety. What now? Knots! Knots are wonderful, and can be quite challenging to learn. They come with funny names - sometimes more than one for the same knot (knot theory is hard!) and they all have their uses (at least about six thousand of them do) in various fields in and out of shibari. There are exactly three ways to learn any of them: Practice, practice, and practice. You can find illustrations and insturction online, or pick up books - there are videos and apps for them, so grab your ropes and make something beautiful! Forget about tying someone up, knots in and of themselves are fun to lay! The process of finding new ones, learning how to tie them and getting them right, oh that rush! And note that I am using the word "knot" a lot here, but of course there are other things to do to rope. you would probably call them knots too but they aint! Or at least they go by different names - there is bends, which tie multiple ropes together (ropes need hugs too - specially when they're too short); Hitches connect rope to objects - useful for keeping subs in place; Slips and loops, although they are less common in shibari; Weaves or plaits; Splices; Stoppers; And of course coils! Those are super important when storing rope and handling it.
It is at this point that I wish to dedicate a little statement towards the single overhand knot: You suck, buddy - and you know it!
All that is left now is some inspiration. Tie a lovely harness, connect some limbs together, make it tight and cozy and neat. There are so many techniques to play with, so many forms to tie, and fun to be had freestyling.
For me, rope forms the most holistic experience of all kink. Way before I even lay the first knot it has a way of getting me in the zone, like the smell of natural fibre! Even thinking about it right now gives me the itch to tie something, or someone. When rope is laid on me I must fight the pull to sub space lest I drift off immediately. When handling it as a rigger I get to my happy top place. I take pride in laying rope carefully, with intent or playfully. I deeply sympathize the sensations and emotions felt by my bunny and enjoy giving it to them. There does not even need to be any other play involved, not even D/s - although it is so much more fun to me than dominating someone without rope. And do not get me started on the bunny side! Rope is like all the spices mixed into one, crystallized as the most delicious thing that makes every other dish shine even more, but stands on its own nonetheless. And we are not done there, un-tying can be an equally stimulating event. I do not consider it part of aftercare - untying is always a part of the scene, with a totally different slurry of emotions happening. It can be done quick, but why waste all the work that went into laying rope, savor it! Feel the pressure released, restrictions lifted, art destroyed (perhaps don't focus on that) in an ever so gentle and enjoyable manner. Or do a little switcheroo and begin a new tie, mix things up! And in the end you are left with a bunch of beautiful rope marks on you, your partner, or both! A truly wholesome experience that frequently leaves me in a state of bliss for some time.
