• 👋 Hello Kinky Friends!

    Thank you so much for continuing on this journey with us as we continue to build this amazing community.

    Our rock star Admin, Inkwarden, has been busy implementing new features and improving others.

    Some notable things to check out:
    • Today we will be testing out the new VOICE CHAT ROOM!
    • Our Blog Section has gotten a makeover!
    • The Anon Whispers section is now even more anonymous — only Admins can reveal who wrote what, and only if needed for safety reasons.
    • There is now a dedicated forum to post your Suggestions and Feedback.
    • Check out the new Featured Content section on the forum page! Mods will select posts that deserve a little extra love, and it will update frequently.
    And remember, if you are enjoying our community, please encourage your friends to join us!

    Be safe, be kinky, have fun! 🖤
    xx Butterfly

Punishment and Funishment

Butterfly

The Bratty Glitteress
Admin
Joined
Apr 4, 2025
Location
Canada
Gender
Female
TOPIC: Punishment and Funishment


What is a punishment?

What is your philosophy about using punishments in D/s relationships?

As a sub, do you enjoy receiving punishments? As a Dom, do you enjoy giving punishments?

What is the difference between a punishment and a funishment?



Please feel free to share your experiences, definitions, opinions and any resources you find many be helpful.​
 
First of all, I want to stress that there is a huge different between a punishment and a funishment.


Punishment
I believe that punishments are something that should be avoided. A punishment should be something that is a consequence for breaking a rule, or being “bad”. It should consist of something that the punishee doesn’t like, to deter them from being “bad” again. It should teach them a lesson. It is not something that should be desired.


Funishment
I believe what most people are asking for on kink forums is a funishment. They want to be “punished” in a fun way. They like the fantasy and thought of being naughty and needing to be punished. However, they don’t actually want something that they hate, they want to be forced to do things that actually turn them on, such as spankings and standing in the corner, or maybe more severe tasks that incorporate their likes.


Giving Punishments
As a Domme, I know that giving a punishment is required. I feel that it is very important to be stern with your sub and to let them know that when they break a rule, there will be a consequences. However, I am also very reasonable. My sub will not be punished for something that he had no control over. If real life gets in the way, and my sub did not have the time to complete a task, then there will be no punishment. If my sub fails a task, they may need to redo it, but they will not be punished.


I also believe that the punishment needs to fit the “crime”. If my sub slips up and forgets to do something (ex. Accidently touches when he wakes up) for the first time, he will get a very mild punishment, maybe a few lines. If he continues to forget or slip up, the punishment will get increasingly harsher and he may receive a moderate punishment over time. If my sub deliberately ignores a rule (ex. He decides to cum even though he knows he isn’t allowed) then he is in for a very severe punishment.


It is hard for me to punish my sub because I don’t like being “the bad guy”. I would much rather have fun and play with my sub, however, it is necessary in my dynamic. I do get run down and frustrated if I am having to punish all the time, because for me it is not part of the fun. It is something I do because I have to. I don’t enjoy it at all. For this reason, if my sub is deliberately breaking rules all the time, I will have to walk away, it just isn’t the sort of dynamic that I want.


Receiving
As a sub, I do not like punishments either. I have become a lot better at not emotionally breaking down when I need to be punished. But I still don’t like it. It is about disappointing somebody who you look up to and respect. I don’t want to do that ever. I am actually much more harsh on myself when I know I need to be punished, than anything you can do to me. If you told me my punishment was to cum, I would still be sad and probably even cry.


At the same time, I need to have punishments in place for any rules that I must follow because the brat in me likes to test limits and if there are no punishments or consequences, I will push too far and eventually not listen at all. That being said, I will almost always push at first to make sure you are going to follow through, because again, if you aren’t then why am I going to follow the rules.


In conclusion, punishments are not something that are desired, but they are something that I see a use for both as a sub and as a domme. They may not work for everybody, but they work for me. As long as they are taken seriously by both parties.


Funishments can be fun at times too. I like to be spanked for being “naughty”, but it is not a true punishment and has a completely different feel than a punishment.
 
Oh oh oh! My favourite topic ever. I'm both the best and worst to talk about this, because I've thought about it a LOT, but also am fairly opinionated on it.

If you ask ten people the punishment vs funishments question, you'll get ten different answers, it's one of those things you kinda have to just define before you start talking about it.

What is a punishment?
I have a massive punishment kink, which makes this question a bit like asking a bee what pollen is. I usually define it as making a sub do something they don't like as a consequence for misbehavior.

All those words are important! If you're just making this poor sub do something they don't like for funsies to watch them suffer, that's a different (but also super fun!) dynamic. If they're all giddy about being punished, that's more in funishment territory.

To me, a punishment has to be something undesirable and it has to be earned, or my punishment senses won't trigger! I want to do something I hate while regretting what I did. It's all about the small feelings of shame, embarrassment and regret for me.

What is your philosophy about using punishments in D/s relationships?
They're something both sides need to agree on and enjoy. If a dominant doesn't enjoy giving out punishments or a sub doesn't like* receiving them, there's no place for them in the relationship. You can absolutely just have a relationship where punishments aren't a thing, there aren't any rules!

* I'm using the word 'like', but what I really mean is something more complex - I like not liking being punished, and a dynamic where a sub desires punishments in place to get that feeling of being forced to follow the rules is just as valid.

As a sub, do you enjoy receiving punishments? As a Dom, do you enjoy giving punishments?
I love to hate receiving them and my subby submarine is too far underwater to hear that second question. <3

What is the difference between a punishment and a funishment?
I generally define funishments as more akin to roleplay and they're ever so easier to do. You can just tell someone they've been bad (unearned!) and then thwap them with a hairbrush (something they like!). It probably still has to carry the punishment aesthetic to count, but you can skip the tricky parts about making sure it's unpleasant and deserved.

I've heard my dynamics called funishments before, because I do, on some level, enjoy not enjoying them, but to me if you aren't enjoying the punishment on any level, you need to recheck your kink map, because you might be straying off the path and into unpleasant territories.
 
I agree with everything that has already been said. There is certainly a difference in both the feel and reason for a funishment Vs a punishment. As a bratty sub I have had experience of craving both which is the one part I would say is a bit more flexible.

The times I have craved a funishment it has deffinatly been a case of craving to brake a 'rule' that's not a rule and only exists as a reason to give a funishment and it has the aesthetics of being naughty and rule breaking and also being punished for it without the deeper feelings of the actual punishments. It is very much more light harted fun reason for a playful spanking for example.

But there are times where in subby side I crave to be punished. It's not that I want to enjoy the punishment (I know I won't) and even hour/days/weeks afterwards I still would say I didn't enjoy any part of it. But in that moment I NEEDED it very strongly not for enjoyment but for emotional well being. I would say it is more accurate for me to say I found it reassuring and slightly satisfying. At those times I needed to know someone was there, that I was cared about and as silly as it might sound. The fact that someone would try so hard to make sure I am being my best self with a punishment has a deeper emotional reach than just being told I care about you. I feel it deeply in those moments and know that person wants the best for me. So while I don't get enjoyment from it it is essential to feeling cared for. If that makes sense and I crave it for that reason.

So subby side I would say I enjoy receiving funishments but punishments it is more I feel contented from them.

On the Dommy side, I enjoy to give out funishments and am more than happy to lay out rules to make it clear these are the ones you can play with, these ones are no nos don't break them to allow for playful situations that can lead to funishment.

I don't enjoy giving out punishment. If it is at the point I am doing that it means a rule has already been broken that shouldn't have been. If it was not deliberate, but rather purely accidental I don't mind that as much as it is always much milder. But for a deliberate rule break. I will hand out the punishment as it needs to happen. But I don't like it. I am already disappointed at that point and I don't think I could ever enjoy that. Just not who I am. But it is a part that needs to happen sometimes.
 
Back
Top