I met my Dom/Husband on a similar kink forum. We spent three months in a D/s relationship over kik, skype, phone calls and text messaging before we decided it was time to meet in person. We lived on opposites side of the country, so I decided to fly across the country to spend a long weekend with him.
It was very scary! I thought I was going to throw up or pass out. It was nerve wracking to say the least. Part of my concerns were anxieties over him not liking me as much once he saw me in person. But some of my concerns had to do with safety as well.
After three months of talking on the phone for 8+ hours a day, I was pretty confident that Mr. Devious was who he said he was. However, I still took some precautions to make sure that I would stay safe on my trip:
- I already had his phone number and his address as we had shared phone calls and sent and received mail.
- I asked him for a photo of his truck (and it clearly showed the license plate).
- Since I was travelling to see him and it was unfamiliar territory, I booked the hotels in my name and with my credit card. That way if I needed to, I could kick him out and have a safe place to stay until I flew home.
- I had a collection of vanilla photos of him.
- I provided my mom and a close friend with his full name, license plate and vehicle information, his photo and contact information, and my flight and hotel information.
- I set up one designated time per day (including 30 minutes after I landed) where I needed to call or text my friend with a special code word in order to let her know I was ok.
- I made sure I had an emergency credit card in case I needed to change my flight, find transportation etc.
- I did not let him tie me up completely until our last day.
On top of all of the safety things that I set up prior to leaving, Mr. Devious and I also talked A LOT about the expectations that we would have going in.
We discussed whether we would be engaging in kink. We discussed safewords. We discussed whether we would have intercourse and what we would be using to keep us safe while engaging in intercourse and other sexual activities if they were going to happen.
We talked a lot! For days and weeks before our trip.
The trip was amazing!!! I couldn't have asked for it to go any better.
The one thing I do want to mention is what happened after I left.
I had a major drop. I was so sad to leave him. It was so incredibly hard, harder than I ever thought possible. I didn't think that it would be nearly that hard. It was as though I felt empty afterwards. And I almost regretted meeting him because going back to just talking on the phone and playing through skype was a let down compared to being together in person. I don't think anything could have prepared me for that feeling, but I just had to mention it.
