I know some people have put a lot of merit into being collared but is this still the case? Or has it just become all about the look of having a collar?
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Kinky Debate - Does collaring mean anything anymore, or has it become aesthetic?
- Thread starter Butterfly
- Start date
I think it's a mix of both. Collars have definitely became a fashion item at times you see more people in public wearing things that blend the line between chokers and collars. I think for most people it's definitely more of a casual play item and it doesn't hold much meaning. I think the design of the collar can alot of times show if it's more casual or series. Most of the larger and thicker collars are going to be more common in casual scenes while the more slmier and subdued ones lend them selves better for more serious collaring. A nice bold stand out collar definitely helps complete plot of fetish based outfits as well.
Personally for me I do wear collars for play scenes and just fashion in general but I do take "being collared" very seriously. I do have to rules I follow when using a collar for more casual play that helps me be more comfortable with it also.
I will never let someone put a collar on me unless it is a dominant I'm in a serious relationship with. If someone wants me to wear one during a casual scene I will take it on and off and it will not be locked on in any manor.
I won't wear any tag or collar that has someone's name on it unless it is for a long term Dominant.
I always relate being collared to something as serious or even more so as a wedding ring. But just because you wear wedding rings doesn't mean you don't wear other rings that help complete the look your going for.
Personally for me I do wear collars for play scenes and just fashion in general but I do take "being collared" very seriously. I do have to rules I follow when using a collar for more casual play that helps me be more comfortable with it also.
I will never let someone put a collar on me unless it is a dominant I'm in a serious relationship with. If someone wants me to wear one during a casual scene I will take it on and off and it will not be locked on in any manor.
I won't wear any tag or collar that has someone's name on it unless it is for a long term Dominant.
I always relate being collared to something as serious or even more so as a wedding ring. But just because you wear wedding rings doesn't mean you don't wear other rings that help complete the look your going for.
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2025
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- NB
- Pride
Progress
I think collars are nowadays similar to rings on fingers. To some it means the world, others just like how they look or feel, and then there is perfunctory aspects, too: Collars and chokers hide anatomical features the wearer might be uncomfortable with. They also help for not constantly losing your headphones.
Stopped making assumptions about why someone wears a collar, sometimes there are clues hinting to a backstory but as I find it with many aspects of one's appearance: If you want to know, you have to ask. And that is a beautiful thing in my book.
Stopped making assumptions about why someone wears a collar, sometimes there are clues hinting to a backstory but as I find it with many aspects of one's appearance: If you want to know, you have to ask. And that is a beautiful thing in my book.
I think that it depends on the people, their dynamic and the situation. If in a BDSM relationship, it would likely signify the power exchange between the parties involved. However, if it was a solo person wearing a more fashionable one or a choker, I would say that it is just fashion.
Like most things in life, there are a lot of factors involved so it could be used for various purposes.
Like most things in life, there are a lot of factors involved so it could be used for various purposes.
It's a bit like a wedding ring signifies a bond between people, but some people just like to wear rings. They can go on different fingers, but most people only have one neck. So if a person wants a collar because it makes them feel submissive or pretty, it's just a bit... mean to be like "no, you can't wear that you lonely single bitch! Get loved first, loser."
I think it really depends on the type of relationship/dynamic. To me there's a huge difference between an accessory, a play collar, and a collar that has been carefully chosen and gifted to signify a bond between two people. I have no desire to be collared, but I have no trouble wearing a play collar, and the collar I wear daily is more than just a piece of jewellery to me. And I don't think I would want to collar someone else either, but I might consider it if it's very important to them.
This was a huge topic of discussion in some of the kink communities I was in 10+ years ago, but it always seemed unfair to judge people based on whether or not the collar they wore was gifted by a D. I'm glad that doesn't seem to happen as much anymore.
This was a huge topic of discussion in some of the kink communities I was in 10+ years ago, but it always seemed unfair to judge people based on whether or not the collar they wore was gifted by a D. I'm glad that doesn't seem to happen as much anymore.