The world of kink
I feel like I was a late bloomer. While I had some crushes, throughout my younger years, and I was called "kissy girl" after chasing the boys and trying to kiss them in Kindergarten, I really didn't start to explore my sexuality until I was around 15.
I was watching TV one night and came across an episode of CSI: Las Vegas. In this episode, a man had died from erotic asphyxiation at a kink club. In the episode, the forensic team learns about the BDSM world. This is the first time that I ever remember being turned on.
This led me down a rabbit hole of research into kinks and the BDSM world. I was never really into watching porn, but I started with stories, and blogs about kinks. My clit pulsing as I went eagerly learned more and more. I stumbled across a website from a kink couple who did bdsm photoshoots and wrote about them. I couldn't help but imagine myself in the submissive role.
Looking back, I also now realize that there was definite signs of my sadistic side, though it would take me years and years to discover that and start exploring.
The first time I ever masturbated to orgasm, I did so by thinking about being tied to a bed, teased, edged and tortured. Sensation play was a huge theme for me in the beginning. I used a back massager as a vibrator on my clit and it didn't take me long for my first orgasm to blow. my. mind! I was hooked!
I continued to explore on my own: research, masturbate and fantasize.
First Dom
When I turned 18, I moved out of my own for college. I was browsing through some personal ads and came across a local man looking for a live in slave. Immediately my panties were wet thinking about this. But you know, stranger danger and all that.
So I reached out to him. I explained to him that I was 18, lived locally and was interested in BDSM and a D/s relationship but that I was super green and was not comfortable actually meeting him at this time.
He was very understanding and instead, he offered to mentor me online. For about 6 months he would give me tasks, exploring different kinks and I would report back to him.
It was very exciting and through him, I had my first experiences with anal play, predicaments, the risk of getting caught, hidden public, and pain. I learned a lot about myself and my likes, as well as BDSM and dynamics in general. It was a great first experience.
Discovering my Domme side
I always thought I was firmly submissive. I never would have guessed I would have a Domme side at all. But years down the road, I was in the getDare chat room and another member popped in and shared that they wanted somebody to control their orgasms in a unique and creative way. I immediately had a thought about how to do this and I volunteered.
I was shocked at this haha! But I loved it. And through that relationship and further exploration, I was discovered my love (and talent) for being dominant. I also slowly learned that I was sadistic and loved to torture my subs for my pleasure.
Ongoing
I am still exploring, learning and discovering things about myself. It is an ongoing process. I wholeheartedly believe that if we aren't learning, and growing we are just dying.
I feel like I was a late bloomer. While I had some crushes, throughout my younger years, and I was called "kissy girl" after chasing the boys and trying to kiss them in Kindergarten, I really didn't start to explore my sexuality until I was around 15.
I was watching TV one night and came across an episode of CSI: Las Vegas. In this episode, a man had died from erotic asphyxiation at a kink club. In the episode, the forensic team learns about the BDSM world. This is the first time that I ever remember being turned on.
This led me down a rabbit hole of research into kinks and the BDSM world. I was never really into watching porn, but I started with stories, and blogs about kinks. My clit pulsing as I went eagerly learned more and more. I stumbled across a website from a kink couple who did bdsm photoshoots and wrote about them. I couldn't help but imagine myself in the submissive role.
Looking back, I also now realize that there was definite signs of my sadistic side, though it would take me years and years to discover that and start exploring.
The first time I ever masturbated to orgasm, I did so by thinking about being tied to a bed, teased, edged and tortured. Sensation play was a huge theme for me in the beginning. I used a back massager as a vibrator on my clit and it didn't take me long for my first orgasm to blow. my. mind! I was hooked!
I continued to explore on my own: research, masturbate and fantasize.
First Dom
When I turned 18, I moved out of my own for college. I was browsing through some personal ads and came across a local man looking for a live in slave. Immediately my panties were wet thinking about this. But you know, stranger danger and all that.
So I reached out to him. I explained to him that I was 18, lived locally and was interested in BDSM and a D/s relationship but that I was super green and was not comfortable actually meeting him at this time.
He was very understanding and instead, he offered to mentor me online. For about 6 months he would give me tasks, exploring different kinks and I would report back to him.
It was very exciting and through him, I had my first experiences with anal play, predicaments, the risk of getting caught, hidden public, and pain. I learned a lot about myself and my likes, as well as BDSM and dynamics in general. It was a great first experience.
Discovering my Domme side
I always thought I was firmly submissive. I never would have guessed I would have a Domme side at all. But years down the road, I was in the getDare chat room and another member popped in and shared that they wanted somebody to control their orgasms in a unique and creative way. I immediately had a thought about how to do this and I volunteered.
I was shocked at this haha! But I loved it. And through that relationship and further exploration, I was discovered my love (and talent) for being dominant. I also slowly learned that I was sadistic and loved to torture my subs for my pleasure.
Ongoing
I am still exploring, learning and discovering things about myself. It is an ongoing process. I wholeheartedly believe that if we aren't learning, and growing we are just dying.