Have you ever *really* been locked out of a hotel room?

I was reminded of this blog post I'd made on GD, and indeed, the hideous circumstances that led to it, so I thought I'd publish again.

I travel a lot for work, and so stay in hotels a lot. If this isn't part of your job, it may sound glamorous and exciting (and I do get to stay in some nice places). But living out of a suitcase, rarely spending more than one night in the same place, so constantly repacking and moving on, gets old quite quickly.

One way to alleviate the monotony is the naked hallway walk. I've done this probably a hundred times, touch the wall, get the ice, up the stairs and down the lift, skinny dipping in a rooftop pool, all the tasks! I'm used to it.

One night however, taking advantage of my travels, I'd agreed to meet up with some friends for beer and curry. A lovely evening, and I went back to the hotel, tired, happy and drunk, with no thoughts of play in my head.

I sleep naked usually, and after that much beer, needless to say, awoke to use the bathroom. This accomplished, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, I then walked straight out of the room door and into the hallway.

<click>

Yes, I'd actually done it. The staple old joke from vintage TV, so nonsensical that it would never have happened in real life...was happening. To me.

I steeled myself. I am far, far more used to being naked in a hotel hallway than anyone else in this hotel. Without question. And the hotel staff have seen all this before. Even though it never happens in real life, they must deal with it constantly (I tried to convince myself).

There was a house phone on the wall. I would need to pick it up, call down, explain the situation, and ask for a new key-card to be cut and brought up to me. I'd probably have to admit I was naked, as they'd probably want me to come and pick it up.

I took a deep breath and called. And it rang. And rang. And rang. Nothing. It was only about midnight, so even on the random Wednesday or whatever it was, in this unremarkable UK town, there could still be people returning to their rooms.

I had no choice but to head down to reception. Unable to really take in the magnitude of the situation, I got in the lift and pressed "0". With a lurch that made me feel sick, it started to descend, and "ping", there I was on the ground floor. The reception. And the bar.

I couldn't. I stabbed frantically at my floor button, needing time to think and a new plan. Except this was one of those hotels that required a key-card to operate the lift from the ground floor! I was stuck!

By the greatest stroke of luck I can imagine, the bar area was screened from the lifts by a chest-high wall. There were, however, a man and a woman enjoying drinks there, and the actual bar/reception, where a single staff member stood, was behind them.

I stepped out of the lift, and tip-toed the ten or so feet to this wall. Had anyone been returning through the main hotel doors at this point, they would have seen me - I was probably visible from the road at this point. I called over to the barman who thankfully came over immediately. My bare shoulders might have given something away to the drinking couple, but they didn't appear to notice me. Even better, the barman never came close enough to look over the wall, and he promptly got me a new key.

I have no idea if anyone saw my white arse running for the lift and pounding the button (now thankfully working with the new key-card) and get back to my room.

That could have been so much worse.

Hope you enjoyed it!