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Dominating and being friendly

Do they go together, or are they contradicting?

I've been in kink for a long period, initially in my exploring period mostly switching - but gradually more dominant. I've been in various roles as Master, Dom, Daddy (- although also switch at times still as some people know). I'm not super precise on the naming in general - but I've loved various forms of control and giving out tasks/actions/rules.

Now for the people that know me a little better, I also am someone you can have a decent conversation with, I enjoy being friendly - and treat people the way I would like to be treated, in an equal way. That's me outside of kink mostly.

So do these things go along? Or are they too contradicting?
I feel I can manage the balance, even in a single dynamic, I've really loved a good conversation in a more 'equal' setting with my sub - and a mixture with 'kink' obviously in differently balanced setup.
I don't think I can easily be 'unfair', but I do feel I can be firm, pushy, and even go to extremes when it comes to asking things of my sub - forcing simply because I am in the 'lead'. There is a balance though, I can't force into someone's limits, there has to be a mutual consent (or consensual non-consent agreement) with clear boundaries. But I really love taking advantage of someones likes and at times dislikes to explore these and creatively try new things and make sure it's a fair challenge!
In general, it also means that I seek for confirmation during & after play if someone felt sufficiently safe and protected. Which I guess brings out my personality again to some extend haha!

I like tough tasks, I enjoy the feeling of someone doing a hard task for me, and sharing back results - making me feel good (and hopefully to some extend make us both feel good)!

My conclusion: It can work together, and in a playful 'mean' and 'firm' setting - but it does have it's boundaries!
What are other peoples experiences with this, either as a dominant with other / similar feelings? Or as a sub that 'deals' with a dominant/master/daddy that is similar?
 
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I'm a switch also. I feel as though the two do go together well. Part of building trust and communication within the D/S dynamic can certainly be done with friendly conversation and meeting them on equal level in the conversation. I would go as far as to say it is probably more healthy. Too often it is easy for a sub to put a Dom on a pedestal as perfection and not see anything less which can be a hard image to keep up, especially if things go wrong. And on the Dom side it can be easy to lose sight of the feeling of a sub... Not saying either will happen but they can.

Having casual conversation where both sides can be open without judgment can allow the S to see the flaws in the D and have a healthier outlook on them (which I don't feel takes anything away but douse build a stronger bond) and on the D side it allows them to keep touch with how the S is doing. Sure there are other ways to do that, but to me casual friendly conversation works better. As long as the boundaries stay firm I don't see harm only benefits (:
 
For me, there's the "games" and the "normal" times. Although respect is due at all times, there's no difficulties to be friendly, casual, caring and have fun outside of boundaries. I mean, respect is a bare minimum in those games, so, with that respect, comes deeper feels.
That might be different in a relationship where one is a "slave", as, a slave needs micromanaging and is "property". I've never been there but I think that, even there, there's room for friendship.

Doms or subs who doesn't care aren't worth for me.
 
For me I really need both. I need somebody who can be loving, gentle and kind. I need that solid connection before I can allow somebody to be firm, demanding or controlling.
 
Personally, I feel that a healthy D/s relationship requires a good friendship as a solid base. Especially a long term D/s relationship.
 
Sir is always balancing both, even more so when Sir's toy is having stressful periods and needs the gentle side even more.

But occasionally Sir's toy forgets her place when treated nicely and needs a reminder.
 
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