I have written before about how being denied is really really hard for me. Hard enough that I actually have it listed as a limit.
However, the *idea* of being denied is SUCH a turn on for me. The idea of having my orgasm controlled, making me desperate, and aching and horny .... fuck! It is so fucking delicious. In fact, just being told "no" at times is enough to drive me wild and I immediately am desperate and need to cum. Just like a toddler who is frantic because they were told "no".
That is where the conflict lies.
I want to tell my Dom to tease me, torture me. Make me his desperate little sub.
I want him to have me sit at my work desk, with a vibe between my legs. A vibe that he will turn on and off throughout the day. Causing my clit to ache, my princess parts to clench. I want him to make me put a dildo inside me while I sit there, trying to focus. I want to feel my hole being stretched, thinking of my Doms cock inside me. I want to feel my chair getting damp as my juices flood out of me around the dildo. I want to be commanded to put a plug in my ass. Sitting on it, making it impossible forget that it is there. A constant tease in my ass. Every time that I shift my weight, it going further inside me, hitting all the right, sensitive parts. The vibrator unpredictably turning on or up when I am least expecting it. Not being able to stop myself from rocking my hips back and forth so that the vibrator is held closer and tighter against my clit.
I want to feel that ache. I want to be told that I won't be allowed to cum. I need to be told I am a good girl for waiting. To be made jealous while my Dom get's himself off, and I have to just wait. Wait for him to decide when I am allowed relief.
I want to be verbally teased, visual teasing (maybe having to watch porn without being allowed to cum, or maybe a special picture of my Dom), and of course the constant physical teasing.
I want to be conflicted. The conflict between wanting the vibe to stay on, the stimulation to be increased, pain in my nipples, plug in my ass, dildo wedged deep inside me ... all of these things increasing my need, my want, my desperation. Filling the room with the sounds of my moans and whimpers, the smell of sex ... my need just getting greater and greater BUT also wanting it to stop because I can't handle it anymore.
Do I want a break? Do I want more attention? or do I just want to cum?
Of course I want to cum. I need to cum.
But also, this feeling is just so fucking great. The build up. The pleasure. The subbyness. Knowing that I am pleasing my Dom.
I have never experienced this. At least not to this extent.
I am adorable. I am needy and get so fucking desperate almost immediately. It drives my Dom wild and then they give me what I want. Which is great. It feels so good. But also .... I feel a bit disappointed. Because I want to be pushed. I crave this! Logically I know that. I can articulate that to my Dom before we start playing. We talk about it, we plan, we fantasize. But .... then I regret it all as soon as it starts because it is SO intense and I just want to cum. NEED to cum!
So it's a constant inner conflict and I don't know what I want!!!!!
(Ps. while writing this, I have been told I am not allowed to cum tonight AND that I will be teased tomorrow before I am allowed to cum ... so stay tuned because my clit is on throbbing!)
However, the *idea* of being denied is SUCH a turn on for me. The idea of having my orgasm controlled, making me desperate, and aching and horny .... fuck! It is so fucking delicious. In fact, just being told "no" at times is enough to drive me wild and I immediately am desperate and need to cum. Just like a toddler who is frantic because they were told "no".
That is where the conflict lies.
I want to tell my Dom to tease me, torture me. Make me his desperate little sub.
I want him to have me sit at my work desk, with a vibe between my legs. A vibe that he will turn on and off throughout the day. Causing my clit to ache, my princess parts to clench. I want him to make me put a dildo inside me while I sit there, trying to focus. I want to feel my hole being stretched, thinking of my Doms cock inside me. I want to feel my chair getting damp as my juices flood out of me around the dildo. I want to be commanded to put a plug in my ass. Sitting on it, making it impossible forget that it is there. A constant tease in my ass. Every time that I shift my weight, it going further inside me, hitting all the right, sensitive parts. The vibrator unpredictably turning on or up when I am least expecting it. Not being able to stop myself from rocking my hips back and forth so that the vibrator is held closer and tighter against my clit.
I want to feel that ache. I want to be told that I won't be allowed to cum. I need to be told I am a good girl for waiting. To be made jealous while my Dom get's himself off, and I have to just wait. Wait for him to decide when I am allowed relief.
I want to be verbally teased, visual teasing (maybe having to watch porn without being allowed to cum, or maybe a special picture of my Dom), and of course the constant physical teasing.
I want to be conflicted. The conflict between wanting the vibe to stay on, the stimulation to be increased, pain in my nipples, plug in my ass, dildo wedged deep inside me ... all of these things increasing my need, my want, my desperation. Filling the room with the sounds of my moans and whimpers, the smell of sex ... my need just getting greater and greater BUT also wanting it to stop because I can't handle it anymore.
Do I want a break? Do I want more attention? or do I just want to cum?
Of course I want to cum. I need to cum.
But also, this feeling is just so fucking great. The build up. The pleasure. The subbyness. Knowing that I am pleasing my Dom.
I have never experienced this. At least not to this extent.
I am adorable. I am needy and get so fucking desperate almost immediately. It drives my Dom wild and then they give me what I want. Which is great. It feels so good. But also .... I feel a bit disappointed. Because I want to be pushed. I crave this! Logically I know that. I can articulate that to my Dom before we start playing. We talk about it, we plan, we fantasize. But .... then I regret it all as soon as it starts because it is SO intense and I just want to cum. NEED to cum!
So it's a constant inner conflict and I don't know what I want!!!!!
(Ps. while writing this, I have been told I am not allowed to cum tonight AND that I will be teased tomorrow before I am allowed to cum ... so stay tuned because my clit is on throbbing!)
Shush you