Hi All,
This blog is a follow up to my edge bank. I have a blog post about that here.
When Butterfly assigned me an edge bank, I was a little concerned as I have never been good at denial. I use orgasms to help me sleep, feel good and to regulate my general irritability. It's not that the idea of long term denial doesn't turn me on and it's also not that I don't have the self control, it's just I need to function well. I need to get more than a few hours sleep every night, need to have a clear head and need to not be sad all the time. It's very possible that if my general mental health was better, I wouldn't struggle so much with denial. Regardless of that fact, it doesn't change that it's something I can't do in any super meaningful way.
As it stands, I normally start to struggle at 5 days with denial and by day 7 it feels like something that I can't sustain any longer. This time does vary based on other factors but that's the most common. Recently I was really struggling to sleep. I lay there tired and horny and just couldn't drop off. I was talking about the struggles with this in the KW chat and Butterfly messaged me. She could see I was really struggling and offered to let me have 24 hours where I could orgasm to help me and would change the rules of the edge bank to allow me to complete it.
This brought up an interesting point though, why didn't I speak to Butterfly when I started to feel like this? Why did Butterfly have to notice in the chat and message me?Well the truth is, I didn't want to feel like a failure. I was worried that asking for an exception or an adjustment would make me seem like I wasn't 'good enough' or that I somehow was a worse sub because of it.
The truth however is that this is supposed to be fun for everyone. It's ok to ask for adjustments and exceptions. If anything, if you don't you are doing your dom(me) a disservice. They deserve to know how you feel and to help. Otherwise they could be unintentionally subjecting you to something they don't want to.
This blog is a follow up to my edge bank. I have a blog post about that here.
When Butterfly assigned me an edge bank, I was a little concerned as I have never been good at denial. I use orgasms to help me sleep, feel good and to regulate my general irritability. It's not that the idea of long term denial doesn't turn me on and it's also not that I don't have the self control, it's just I need to function well. I need to get more than a few hours sleep every night, need to have a clear head and need to not be sad all the time. It's very possible that if my general mental health was better, I wouldn't struggle so much with denial. Regardless of that fact, it doesn't change that it's something I can't do in any super meaningful way.
As it stands, I normally start to struggle at 5 days with denial and by day 7 it feels like something that I can't sustain any longer. This time does vary based on other factors but that's the most common. Recently I was really struggling to sleep. I lay there tired and horny and just couldn't drop off. I was talking about the struggles with this in the KW chat and Butterfly messaged me. She could see I was really struggling and offered to let me have 24 hours where I could orgasm to help me and would change the rules of the edge bank to allow me to complete it.
This brought up an interesting point though, why didn't I speak to Butterfly when I started to feel like this? Why did Butterfly have to notice in the chat and message me?Well the truth is, I didn't want to feel like a failure. I was worried that asking for an exception or an adjustment would make me seem like I wasn't 'good enough' or that I somehow was a worse sub because of it.
The truth however is that this is supposed to be fun for everyone. It's ok to ask for adjustments and exceptions. If anything, if you don't you are doing your dom(me) a disservice. They deserve to know how you feel and to help. Otherwise they could be unintentionally subjecting you to something they don't want to.
