Ask Guv anything

[Guv'nor]

If sex had a theme song every time you started, what would yours be? This was tough, I am useless at finding a song for a situation... especially as I haven't had sex, so have no idea what I am like at it... So, Don't stop believin' by Journey, as I honestly think I wont ever have sex
Would you rather have sex in a zero-gravity room or underwater (with breathing gear)? Zero gravity could be fun
What’s the most random thing that’s killed the mood for you?" Probably passing gas, or traffic outside
If you could have sex in any fictional universe, where would you pick? Sorry, but I don't actually have an answer for this as I am not a follower of tv or film to know of any
What’s your guilty pleasure that shouldn’t be sexy but kinda is? Probably pee, its a bit gross but it always turns me on for some reason
Would you rather only be able to sext using medieval English or pirate slang? Medieval English, I would love to call someone my wench
If a genie offered to make you the best at one very specific sex skill, which would you choose? Making a woman orgasm during intercourse. At least people would want to sleep with me then...
What’s the weirdest safe word you’ve ever heard (or would love to use)? Sadly this isn't something I can answer as I haven't been involved in many scenes, and nothing memorable as online role play
If you had to incorporate a kitchen appliance into foreplay, which would it be? A kettle. I would make them think I am going to pour hot water on them, and then its actually filled with ice water. Nice (depends on your perspective I guess) little mind fuck
What’s the most hilarious noise you’ve ever heard during sex? Cant answer as I have not had sex
Would you rather have sex while skydiving or while riding a roller coaster? Both sound horrific as I don't fly and hate roller coasters, but at least a roller coaster shouldn't kill me, unlike forgetting to open a parachute, so the roller coaster
If you could invent a new position and name it after yourself, what would it be called? The Guv, we sit in separate buildings and feel lonely and unwanted... I don't know anything about sex to actually invent a position

Please see answers above in bold

 

[Butterfly]

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said while in a serious kink scene?
If you could make one ridiculous kink law, what would it be? (Example: "Aftercare must legally involve cookies.")
If you could replace a standard kink item (like rope, cuffs, etc.) with something absurd (like pool noodles), what would you swap?
Which would you rather have: vibrating socks or edible harnesses?
You have to explain your favorite kink to a 5-year-old... using only food metaphors. How do you do it?
Which villain would you let top you?
Would you rather: drop your toy bag in front of your boss OR explain your browser history to your mom?
What's your "if I die, delete this" kink-related emergency?

 

[Guv'nor]

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said while in a serious kink scene? Sadly I haven't been involved in a serious scene, so I have not had the opportunity
If you could make one ridiculous kink law, what would it be? (Example: "Aftercare must legally involve cookies.") Fart noises must be played after a scene so everyone can laugh to relieve the tension
If you could replace a standard kink item (like rope, cuffs, etc.) with something absurd (like pool noodles), what would you swap? No, it would undermine the mood
Which would you rather have: vibrating socks or edible harnesses? Vibrating socks, if only for the massaging they can do to my sore feet
You have to explain your favorite kink to a 5-year-old... using only food metaphors. How do you do it? I honestly couldnt, I have no idea how to explain things to children
Which villain would you let top you? There isnt anyone, I am the Top
Would you rather: drop your toy bag in front of your boss OR explain your browser history to your mom? Drop my toy bag in front of my boss, its pretty empty after I sold most of it and what I do have is not that wild in the modern world
What's your "if I die, delete this" kink-related emergency? Probably all of my accounts, its something I would like to die with me

Please see my answers in bold